Hey @utgard
It really sounds like you're in a tricky dilemma - not knowing whether to apologise to your online friend for ghosting them, or whether to leave it, as it may have the potential to restart the relationship - which you aren't keen on doing.
It's wonderful that you still have the desire to apologise - that's a kind, and respectable, thing to do! It shows your caring and self-reflective nature. But it also sounds like boundaries matter to you. That this person was pretty attached, which you didn't like, and it took a pretty big mental toll on you. I am so sorry to hear that 😞
Potentially, you could do both? Maintain your boundaries while apologising. Your genuine apology will show that you're caring about the other person and being the better person, and it might help you feel less guilty and uncertain - as you said in your post. But at the end of the apology, you could say how you hope that you both can move on happily, and for the sake of your mental health, you will stay detached. And that they should respect that boundary.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel like this works for you?
Wishing you all the best in whatever you decision is, in the end! 😁
