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Relationships with males

I'm a bit scared when it comes to relationships with males. Because I'm scared if I start talking to someone, I'll start liking them more. And then I'll hurt myself because they won't like me back the same. Which I've done a few times. I think I just am lonely so I'll take an attention I can get and then assume they like me. 

Like how am I supposed to know when it's ok to message someone individually and what's normal to say? Is it ok to just say you haven't seen them for a while and ask how they are? But then you have been chatting on that level with others. So they might assume I like them but it's just friends.

I'm just scared I'll hurt someone or myself again. And that's making me question everything I do. And every interaction I have with a male.

I'm not sure how much sense I'm making. But I just want to know what boundaries people make when talking with people of the opposite sex.

And how friends with girls should be different with boys. Like obviously you can't have the same types of conversations and share as much. Idk

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