Hey @Iron
I’m sorry that you’re being treated the way you are. His words are incredibly cruel. It’s a really difficult situation to be in.
A relationship requires cooperation of both parties. Unfortunately, he does not seem willing to cooperate. It’s completely understandable to want a relationship with your dad, in the end, he’s your dad. But it really can’t be at the expense of your happiness and wellbeing. Is there anything that really makes you feel like you won’t be okay without him?
If you do want to reconnect with him, I do not think it is likely for his behaviour to improve. Arguing with him or calling him out is unlikely to achieve anything accept causing you further harm. It really seems like he’s trying to get a reaction out of you. If you can provide no reaction, he won’t have any way to continue to push you. Please remember that his words are just words, they are not a reflection of you or reality.
It's complicated when a parent is terminally ill. You tend to feel obligated to make the relationship good before they die. But you don’t owe anyone a relationship, even if they are your parent. They still need to treat with respect and kindness. Do your best to put yourself first and try to talk to someone if you can.
Best of luck 💙
