Hey @AcidMonster55 , arghhhhh comments like 'you make autism/ADHD/any other neurodivergent condition your entire personality' make me so angry. I think it's particularly difficult because often these neurodivergent conditions have a special interest as part of their diagnostic criteria! Basically, talking about your condition a lot is literally part of the condition. Also, (from my personal perspective as an ADHDer), my neurodivergent condition does make up so much of my personality and day-to-day life (which again, is part of the diagnostic criteria). Anyways, what I'm trying to say in my typical ADHD long-winded, rambling way, is that it is so valid to get angry or sad over these comments, and it is also so valid to geniunely feel like your neurodivergent condition does make up a lot of your personality.
When I've had people say this sort of stuff to me, or when I've felt like somebody was implying it, I've tried to create some distance between us. It is really important that you are surrounded by people who respect who are you, not just the parts that they find interesting or convenient. It can be really difficult, especially if they are somebody quite close to you. If you're comfortable enough around them and feel like you have a bit of confidence, I would suggest asking them why they've made this comment, and explaining how it made you feel. At the same time, it's not your job to explain all of the aspects of your neurodivergence, so it may be helpful to be armed with a few resources that you can hand over to anybody who asks or makes an ignorant comment.
It can be really difficult to unmask, not to mention how vulnerable it feels, so I think it's extra important that you can do this in a space where you feel accepted and respected.
I'm not sure how much of this made sense or if my advice has been particularly helpful, but I hope you (or any other neurodivergent folks reading this) know that you are valid, having your neurodivergent condition as your personality is valid, feeling angry or sad or any other emotion over these comments is valid and speaking up is valid!!!
