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Hi @Red_Flamingo it sounds like you're going through a pretty tough time right now. @dewgong has made some excellent points, which I'll second!

For me, my depression and sadness feels like a really heavy emptiness. It's strange to describe because emptiness should be weightless, but I guess for me, my emptiness is the sadness which has become so normalised or unmanageable, that it turns into something that is nothing, and that nothing feels heavy. Does that make any sense? Sadness is really hard to describe!