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Hey there. I hear you, it can be very frustrating when things aren't what we hope or expect. It does sound like you have genuine feelings and makes sense why you might feel anxious. I'd suggest focusing on time spent together since that seems to be where your connection is best. Maybe when you do hang out, don't hesitate to share your feelings with him as it can help clear the air. 

Most importantly, make sure you take care of yourself.

Wish you the best!