Remember you are beautiful and amazing, you deserve the world and all the happiness and safety in it.
Trigger Warnings:
Mentions of SH, ED/BN, ST, DPDR, ADHD
I love my mum and dad but it's really hard to be honest with them and they fight a lot, my dad has had this sickness for many years now which makes him extra controlling and hypervigilant (fibromyalgia). My sisters cut off communication with my dad (I have 2 half sisters and 1 actual sister. I haven't seen one of them for 15 years, one of them I haven't seen for almost 8 years, and one of them I see occasionally), school doesn't feel right for me, I don't have a social life, I feel like I don't have any best friends even though I know I do, and I don't see the point in trying when it feels like everyone I love will disappear like I'm in a dream. Nothing feels real and I'm lonely. There's no meaning to my life. I think I have Derealisation Disorder and ADHD but it has not been clarified by a doctor. I also self-harm and experience disordered eating when I feel really bad about life or myself in general, and experience suicidal thoughts.
Don't worry I am safe and live in a safe environment with supportive people around me, I do not have specific plans of suicide. I have not self-harmed for 15 days now. I am keeping myself safe and using healthy ways to cope by using an app (HarmLess) that has meditation and a tracker on it, and when I feel like self-harming or having suicidal thoughts I listen to music and write poetry.
