Hello @Charcoal_Goose ,
Thank you for posting such a personal and brave post! It looks like so many of us reasonate with having experienced similar feelings, and I too am one of them.
Similarly to you, I did not have any romantic relationships or intimacy until I was 22, and looking back I wish someone had validated my feelings and told me that it's perfectly okay to be in a different spot to your peers. It took me a long time to come to the self-realisation that I was my biggest obstacle. I had been burnt by a lot of people in the past (mostly friendships), and this led me to develop a deep fear of opening up and being vulnerable. It was this fear that made me dread engaging in romantic interactions and intimacy. However, when I met my now partner, this fear completely vanished and if I'm completely honest it wasn't something that I worked on or did myself. I truely believe when you meet the 'right' person, your fears will fade away and you will become comfortable with progressing with a romantic relationship and even intimacy. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself in the meantime, everyone starts somewhere and it truely is just experimentation and finding someone who understands you. Little steps and progress, becomes a lot over time. Start by engaging more with guys as friend, it's easier to move from friendship to relationship than from strangers to relationship and I found this was a great confidence boost for myself!
All the best 😊
