Hi @Aggie2098
Firstly, I want to wish you a warm welcome to ReachOut! I am so very proud of you for deciding to seek advice here and even more proud for opening up and sharing what has been happening for you with everyone here.
Secondly, I do not think you are wrong to focus on the future; of course, living in the moment is important, but having future goals and working towards those is also just as important. I want to remind you that it is okay for plans to change, so going long distance for a while and then deciding that you wanted to be with her and move to where she is very valid. I've had similar changes in plans with my current partner, with whom I used to be in a long-distance relationship, but I am currently living with them in QLD.
It must have been absolutely destroying being told by her that she slept with someone else, especially just the day before you were set to fly out to her. The communication becoming distant must have also been really difficult; what kinds of feelings did this give you? Please try not to blame yourself for what has happened, her cheating on you is not your fault!
Sadly, we do not always know or understand why a partner decides to cheat on us, and there is nothing we could have done to necessarily prevent it from happening. Whether you had moved with her straight away or taken the path you did, there is no way to have predicted/known she would sleep with someone; those are her own actions.
Have you spoken to anyone else about what has happened? Like friends, family, or a mental health professional? Gaining their support and leaning on them can really help during times like this. If you feel like you are really struggling or need someone to talk to, there is always Headspace and Kids Helpline available for support. Hopefully, some others on here will provide further comments/support as well; this may help you feel a bit better.
It might take some time to process what has happened and also to figure out what to do next in life. In the meantime, be sure to practice self-care and take care of yourself. What are some things that you enjoy doing that normally make you feel good?
Take care,
- Matcha_Toad 🐸🍵💚
