Hi, I hope your day has been okay.
I'm a trans girl who's terrible at communicating hard topics, and talking to my parents. I've been out to my parents for a few months and I had thought it would be okay, having a trans brother for 4 or 5 years that they accept and support (e.g. calling via correct name & pronouns, e.t.c.), unfortunately they had left me on read when I told them for about a week (maybe two, it did feel like forever). After they finally talked to me about it, nothing had changed and later on they talked to me again - without change once again. After about 2 months, I eventually snapped enough to have a mini-talk with my mum and she had thought that it was okay to deadname & misgender me ("I thought we were all on the same page"). Afterwards I made a post looking for help and @Catlover101 had suggested to write them a letter.
Last Friday I wrote the letter basically just clearly outlining that it was not okay at all for them to deadname or misgender me and ask for my missing clothes, of which I have been buying with my own money and have been getting "lost" in the washing machine. What had made me snap is when they took one out of my drawer.
How I know its my parents who are stealing my clothes (of which I told them I will be reporting it to the police - gotta tell them they got until the 1st of oct to return it) is that 1, my younger brother - who i share a room with - doesn't have a reason to steal feminine clothes, and a place to hide them and 2, my older brother - who understands how hard it is as a trans person - wouldn't do that to me, I even asked him if his friend might've accidentally mistaken it (of which he got mad at me for, unsurprisingly). That leaves me with my parents - as no one else has access to the house. They do have a place to hide stuff - like devices - and they do have a reason, albeit a transphobic one, to hide my clothes.
After they read and discussed the letter between themselves, they asked if I wanted to talk to them that night and I said I wasn't ready and they respected that. They also haven't asked if I wanted to talk to them since, so I'm wondering maybe its time for me to try asking them.
I think I'm looking for a way to cope with them being the way they are - cherrypicking which transgender person they'd like to respect and stealing my clothes and being transphobic - and solutions as what to do next. Anything else that potentially could help would be greatly appreciated too!
Thanks in advance everyone ❤️
