Hey @oTruAuzzie
I’m really sorry for your loss. It’s a horrible thing to go through. It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and to question the meaning of life. There is no right way to grieve someone you love. Overall, it does get easier in time but that doesn’t really mean anything right now. I’m sure your best friend stayed as long as she could so that she could spend time with you. You don’t need to beat yourself up over what happened. Is there anyone you can talk to? It can really help to voice how you’re feeling to someone.
Your best friend will always be with you in the memories you created together. Right now, those memories may feel like a burden but in time they will become easier. Is there any activity that brings you joy right now? Sometimes distracting yourself from the pain you’re experiencing is all you can do. It might be helpful to write a letter to her telling her all the things you want to say but didn’t get the chance to. Getting the emotion out can make a huge difference.
This is not an easy thing to deal with. I really admire your strength and courage in continuing. I hope in the future you’ll consider seeing a therapist. They can provide a judgment free space to voice how you feel. I wish you nothing but the best.
