Hi there @catsarethebest
It sounds like this has been bothering you for a long time, I'm sorry to hear it. I think it's great that you help out and support your sister! However, it must be difficult with all the things you need to get done too, like school. Year 11 is certainly a busy year for everyone, I can understand your need for more time to yourself to get these things done. I couldn't even imagine having to juggle Year 11 and supporting someone like that. You are doing an excellent job, I hope you know that. Thank you for reaching out about this.
It sounds like your relationship with your parents is a bit difficult for you with their lack of meaningful presence in your life, like the not showing up to your ceremonies. I don't think it's unreasonable at all for you to want more attention and love from them, the way your sister gets. It doesn't make you a horrible person. You deserve attention and love from your parents. That does not make you ungrateful or childish.
I can understand how lonely and upset you must be about the situation, it sounds like you've had a lot of growing up to do on your own and you've had to make a lot of your big decisions by yourself, as well as take on these huge responsibilities. Taking care of someone else is a big commitment and a huge responsibility, especially when you're still a minor yourself and your parents have a lot of expectations from you. It also sounds like they've been saying some hurtful things to you regarding this. I can assure you that you are not lazy, you are trying your best to cope with everything. That's all that anyone can ask for. You are doing a great job 💜
In regards to discussing these things with your parents, I would honestly just phrase it how you've put it here, such as "I want to talk to you about this. I don't want you to think that I'm ungrateful for everything you do for me, but I really feel that __________" and express your concerns. I think it's important to be assertive about this, but also use a respectful tone so that they are less likely to feel attacked and shut you down.
Best of luck @catsarethebest 💜
