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Hey @koobdoob 

Sounds like a really tough situation to be in. It’s understandable to feel conflicted when you’re supposed to be happy, but circumstances make it impossible. There is no right way to feel or to deal with things. You’re allowed to do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Your grandfather knows how you feel about him even if you can’t attend the funeral. Funerals really aren’t for the person who died, they’re for the people left behind. If it’s unhelpful for you to go, you don’t have to. Celebrate his life in a way that’s meaningful to you. Grief is definitely challenging. Is there anyone you can talk to about how your feeling? Sometimes having someone listen can make a world of difference.