Hi @Mint_Crane
Great topic of discussion, I appreciate your authenticity in sharing your personal experience.
I think that attraction and preferences are subjective and unique to each and every person. I believe that people are entitled to their preferences but should not criticise those who do not fit within their own construct of what they consider to be "attractive" or "unattractive". The way in which I myself have overcome these cyclical feelings of insecurity is believing in abundance. We tend to experience insecurity when we believe a resource, such as attractiveness, is sparse and so we project these insecurities onto others in attempt to increase our own perceived attractiveness. Insecurity is also likely to arise when we focus our energy on soley increasing our physical appearance and we neglect more fruitful things such as developing a good personality. Seeking external validation will never result in fulfillment within yourself, when you seek others to validate you, you no longer possess the power or ability to recognise beauty within yourself.
Society perpetuates superficial traits as the gold-standard when selecting a partner. I believe that most (not all) individuals no longer value others beyond the surface, which is clearly highly problematic and has resulted in the breakdown of our generations relationship culture. We are not born with insecurities, they are perpetuated in society. Who decided that the beauty standard is correct? Superficial pleasures are a short-term method to receive "happiness", they do not provide fulfillment and will lead you to pursue pleasure from things such as pornography or multiple partners to satisfy this lack of fulfillment. Beauty fades, but our character stays.
Being authentic and honest to yourself will attract what is meant for you. Look in the mirror each and every day and tell yourself that you are beautiful. You have the power to rewire the way in which you see yourself, you deserve to love who you see in the mirror. Your life belongs to you, you do not need to spend your beautiful time on Earth concerned with the opinion of others. Your therapist gave you great advice, I wonder how this has changed your perception of others this far?
Hope you are well! 💜
