Hi @Purple_Zebra
Thank you so much for sharing your story so openly. I want to start by saying that I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was 17, so I completely understand how overwhelming, consuming, and isolating it can feel to face intense fear every single day.
I want to remind you that you do not owe anyone an explanation for what you're going through, even your friends. Your anxiety does not define who you are, and I really hope that seeking professional help sets you on a path toward healing, as it did for me. Unfortunately, unless someone has experienced mental illness themselves, it can be difficult for them to grasp how debilitating it can be. In my own journey, I had to repeat my final year of high school as my anxiety was so intense. My friends, peers and teachers were dismissive of my condition. I even had a teacher pull me aside after I had requested an extension for an assessment to tell me, "Who do you think you are? You are not special." People are either ignorant or ill informed of mental illness. This is your journey and you must prioritise yourself above the opinions of others, do not let them sidetrack you from your achievements. I want to congratulate you on finishing your assessments, that is an amazing achievement, keep doing what you are doing.
As others have mentioned, it's scary how real anxiety can feel. It is also an invisible struggle, which makes it even harder for others to understand, especially when you have a panic attack but manage to mask your fear on the outside. When I first spoke to my psychologist, she actually recommended I get a health check to reassure me that everything was physically fine, which helped a lot.
I am now in a better place and have been able to do all the things I had thought I'd missed out on, but getting their required me to really prioritise my healing and seek help. You will get through this, keep faith in yourself, and you will come out of this stronger and wiser. I am glad to hear that grounding and mindfulness techniques are helping you. I also recommend you take a look at a breathing technique called the "physiological sigh" this helped regulate my nervous system well.
I wonder how you have been doing recently? Looking forward to hearing from you 🤗💜
