I weirdly pride myself on not reaching out when I feel like I need it, so please bear with me as I feel this post may be confusing.
These past few weeks, and the oncoming weeks have been and will continue to be hectic.
Last week my best friend found out her partner (of 2yrs) was cheating on her and dumbed him, this was going on at the same time as what I have been calling my end of semester hell week for uni with an assessment for every class in the span of a week. I felt/feel like a terrible friend because I had to prioritise my studies, like I did hang out with her after uni one night there and hung out with her properly on the weekend after all of my assessments were done. (Which I also feel bad about because I feel like I didn’t put in as much effort as I could/should have). Now that her partner and her have broken up, she’s kicked him out and wants me to move in. However my exams are in a couple of weeks so I can’t move in straight away, which I also feel bad for. However, this stress feels semi lesser than my new stress, but piled in with the new stress feels debilitating.
The next part of my rant. My partner has just found out his grandmother (who I have not met sadly) has a few hours left and he is currently visiting her. I want to be there to support him the best I can but I feel I don’t have the right kind of grief experience… like I lost my pet dog who meant the whole world to me but I haven’t lost a family member that I have been close with ya know? I feel like such a fraud cause I’m studying psychology and have no idea how to support my boyfriend through this time when he needs me. Also for context we are long distance so it’s not like I can just be there to cuddle him when he cries (which absolutely breaks my heart). I want to go down to see him but I have exams coming up so I feel a bit lost in that regard, I was almost thinking of seeing if I can defer my last exam (as he is meant to be coming up for a concert that he really wanted to go to a few days before it) and travelling down to his home with him to support him and his family. But again I just feel lost, cause in that regard I am not prioritising myself but it also feels wrong to do that.
If anyone who has either been through this grief or has supported someone going through grief have any advice on how I can help my partner through his grief that would be amazing.
Thanks…
