Hi @soldier_poet_king
I'm really sorry to hear about your parent's divorce. This kind of change can be really difficult, even as an adult. My parents divorced when I was about 12, but my brother and I stayed 50/50 between houses until I was well into university and about 21 years old. I'm not going to lie, I often felt that living between two houses was stressful (moreso when I was in high school), but it was manageable and my parents were really supportive. I would do weird alternating weeks where I would be at my mum's house from Monday to Wednesday, then dad's Thursday & Friday and then alternating weekends. It got more complicated because then my dad wanted a perfect 50/50 split so we changed to alternating Wednesdays too 🤯 The only reason this could work was because my parents lived 10 minutes from each other though. My brother and I preferred it because we didn't have to pack and unpack a huge amount of stuff the time. Are you parents planning on moving far apart? Do you have a car? Things were a lot easier when I could drive because I could pretty much choose when I wanted to go over and if I forgot anything, I could go back to the other house. I think when I got into university, I started doing longer stints at either house so that could also be an option for you if your parents are happy with that.
For me, my university was in the CBD and I also worked in the CBD so I didn't have to worry too much about location when switching houses as both my parents houses were on the same tram line to get there. My dad was also really nice and would buy me whatever double-ups I needed (e.g. things like shampoo that I don't want to take back and forth).
I will say, that it was stressful at times, but I don't think it affected my uni studies much. University is generally pretty flexible which made things easier. I honestly never really thought about whether moving between houses was affecting my studies at all. The stress was usually short-term such as getting frustrated about not having one home because of logistical issues like forgetting items or realising you got the dates for what house you're at wrong and have to re-arrange plans. I got really good at packing what I needed so that only really took 10-30 minutes each time (even though I would procrastinate it). That being said, I was definitely used to it by the time I was in uni. I'm aware things may be harder for you to adapt to. I'm wondering if you'd be open to talking more about how you think it will affect your mental health and your studies? How are you feeling about the divorce itself?
I will also say, when I finally moved out on my own, it was somewhat of a relief. But I wouldn't change it, because it meant I got to spend so much time with each of my parents and make amazing memories along the way. Plus, I always got to have two Birthdays and two Christmases (and still do) 😆
If you have any questions or just want to talk, I would be happy to ❤️ It's definitely not an easy time and takes a lot of adapting. Things can get really complicated and its scary having to work out all the logistics at first. Uni can also take some adapting but I enjoyed it a lot more than school. What are you hoping to study?
