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Hey @Green_Ghost thank you so much for sharing this - and I am so sorry that you are going through so much at the moment. Sometimes life can really feel deeply like the abyss you were describing. I think it is amazing that you are ready to make use of the support around you and the fact that you are in therapy putting the work in is so brave. 

In tough times, it can be so hard to imagine things getting better eventually, but I promise you they will. One thing we can rely on in life is change. This situation you are in right now will inevitably change and your feelings will too. In the meantime, please be gentle with yourself. You have made it through years and years of education - it is understandable if your mind and body are finding it a little tricky to adapt to your new life. Keep leaning in to the support around you and taking care of yourself. Thinking of you and hoping you start feeling a bit better 💜