Hi @TankRadical
Everything you have written I have felt before and I know so many other people do, my friends and I discuss this all the time.
To want to improve constantly is amazing, and it shows you are willing to grow and learn and be better. I think I try to remember though, that you are your best self at that moment, that's what I try to do. Take a breath even when you are trying to be better and remind yourself, how I feel at the moment is my best self, so you aren't too hard on yourself and trying to push yourself to achieve so much.
If you haven't already, discuss this with your friends. They might be feeling the same way and it can be a great way to learn to support each other and know you aren't alone in this. It can spark conversations and find new opportunities but also feel like you don't have to constantly prove yourself, especially to the people you love. They will love you regardless.
I find that red flags are very subjective one person finds a red flag, and another doesn't. If you did something that someone sees as a red flag that is up to them and maybe you need to talk to them about it. I think it's great you want to improve yourself but try to remember all your good qualities, the ones that highlight who you are and remind yourself of them. Whether you write them down or place them on sticky notes in the mirror.
I think one of our biggest misconceptions is now social media, there are all these 20-something-year-olds who have achieved so much and you compare your life to theirs. This is something I have done but I like to remind myself I am still in my early 20's I don't need to have it figured out. Especially at 22, life in some way for us is only just beginning for a lot of those social media accounts, they have been working on since they were teens and sometimes they need to highlight what it is in their life for content. Something my niece and nephew have said to me is I am still in my teens (they are 7 and 9) and I am not an adult until after I turn 25, it actually kind of helped. Yes technically I am an adult and yes 25 shouldn't be the age I have it all worked out but it was that reminder that my life doesn't have to be together and all this pressure we experience shouldn't be so hard. We travel life at our own pace and grow at our own pace.
I hope some of this helps, but remember you are not alone.
