Hi @TankRadical
It's great that you've been on this journey of self-improvement. I'm wondering if it's maybe beginning to become a little bit maladaptive with the constant monitoring and the feelings of frustration it's causing as a result? I think, as Rara said, red flags can be subjective to each person. It could be challenging to decide what's a red flag and what's not for each individual person / interaction, making it harder to determine if you're on the right track.
I admire the intentions you've stated with this post, such as wanting those you care about to be loved and seen and wanting to be admired and be the person others ask for advice. I hear that you've been journalling and writing down a lot of "I" statements, but that you don't want to be 'self-absorbed.' I think "I" statements are a great source of self-reflection. I've found that the people who self-reflect the most are often the most mindful people. Maybe you're on the right track with the "I" statements? "I" does not necessarily equal self-absorption, particularly in private journalling.
Remember to be kind to yourself and try not to be too hard on yourself. Self-improvement is a great adventure, and not necessarily a linear one. There might be set-backs of moments of doubt. I think it's important to push forward and look after yourself when doing so. 💜
