Hi Asparagus Hedgehog,
Cute username ❤️ Like others have said it seems you might be experiencing some snowballing, and I understand how it's left you feeling like life isn't great right now. It sounds like you're quite clear on what's been troubling you, and the approach you're taking to examine the issues one by one is already a great start.
about the friend that might be drifting away - it's very normal that friendships, including close friendships, fade or change overtime. It's happened to me and many people I know, and I've found that it's always better to invest my time and energy for the friends who would appreciate it, rather than those who don't reply or reciprocate. Sorry to hear your relationship hasn't been great as of late, and it's very understandable that you don't want to see them anymore if they have been putting you down.
If you feel up to it, don't be afraid to chat and make friends with some new people or try again with those you're already acquainted with. Those who are worth making friends with wouldn't be swayed by how your old friend seemed to put you down. You seem like a lovely person, so just keep being yourself and you'll eventually meet people who treat you like you deserve to be treated.
We're here if you feel like chatting more~
