Hey @messyroots,   This sounds like such a tough situation to be in. It sounds like you've given a lot of thought to the impact this relationship with Ashley is having on you.   While I'm not married and I don't have a child, I've previously been in a relationship with a member of the military who has deployed and understand that this can be a pretty challenging situation for anybody to be in and I'm sure finding a friend in Ashley was a real welcome relief to have somebody that seemed to understand some of what you were going through.    Although it definitely seems like that relief was short lived with some of the things you've described in your post. It sounds like Ashley has made you understandably pretty uncomfortable. I'm wondering if you and/or your husband have anybody you could talk to about this situation? I noticed you mentioned your mum was across what had been happening with Ashley, is she somebody that you've chatted to about potentially cutting ties?  ... View more

Hey @aircatcher,   Sorry to hear you're feeling confused about the situation with your friend, that sounds really tough, especially when you're not sure if they reciprocate the feelings you have towards them. It also sounds super tough that some of the people around you are homophobic. I wanted to start by saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with being bi and it's awesome you could reach out on the forums and talk to your two online friends.    I think a lot of us can relate to the challenges of not knowing if somebody reciprocates the feelings you have towards them, it can be a really tricky thing to navigate!   As I was questioning my sexuality during school and I wasn't sure how people would respond, I sometimes tried to casually drop something in the conversation that may tell me how the people around me would react if I told them I was questioning my sexuality. By doing this, I was able to confide in a couple of people around me who I knew would be completely accepting of who I was, regardless of who I was attracted to. Are there any friends or people that you're close to in real life that you could chat to about your feelings?    As @Janine-RO, Reach Out also has some awesome resources that you may find helpful!         ... View more

Today I have a day off work and bought a muffin from my favourite shop  ... View more

What does the holiday season look like for you? Do you have any holiday traditions? For me, the holiday typically involve lots of work. This is a time of year that my work gets the busiest, so it's all hands on deck. I often work over Christmas Day/Boxing Day etc, although will typically find some time to spend with my family as well.  As for traditions, not really. Christmas Day and Boxing Day generally involve seeing family, but how that looks each year varies.    What do you find hardest about the holidays?   I find the whole time pretty challenging. This year those challenges have been amplified by being the first Christmas without my dad. So probably pretty similar to some other people out there, I struggle with the portrayals of 'big happy families' on Christmas Day, when mine looks so different.    What are things you like the most about the holidays?   The weather. Long, warm days where you can be outside well into the evening. People generally seem merrier at this time of year, which is also nice.  ... View more

I basically agree with everything @Hozzles said, but to answer the questions   1. What do you think makes a healthy relationship different from an unhealthy one? (Can be romantic, sexual, companionate etc)  Definitely boundaries and mutual respect. Having a comprehensive understanding of where each other stands on certain topics and each person respecting how the other feels in certain situations. In a healthy relationship, I think you should be able to talk about things free from judgement and have your feelings heard and respected.   2. What do you value in a relationship, and why do you think people look for romantic or sexual relationships? Are there benefits?   I value people who take the time to get to know you and understand how you work. I also value the ability to spend quality time with that person and have a mutual understanding that alone time is also super important.  Why do people look for them? Because they can be incredibly rewarding when with the right person. It can be really wonderful when you get to 'do life' with somebody who shares your interests and wants to see you happy and fulfilled just as much as you want that for them.  Are there benefits? Absolutely. While relationships absolutely have their ups and downs, in the end, having somebody in your life to share all of these moments with is great. Although it's also worth mentioning, that relationships aren't for everybody. While some people desire that companionship, others may not and that's totally ok too.    3. How do you know if you are ready for a relationship? I was definitely a late bloomer in this department. I think growing up questioning my sexuality for so long made me pretty uncomfortable about relationships in general. I remember going on a couple of dates with people to see how I felt and the desire to cancel/run in the other direction etc was probably a pretty clear indicator that I wasn't ready. Although, to be fair, I finished telling a friend literally an hour before I met my partner that I wasn't ready for a relationship and here we are now 1 year later, so I guess sometimes things just have a way of falling into place.  So the answer to this question would vary depending on what you want out of the relationship. But if you feel comfortable in the situation/with the person and you're both on the same page as to what you want, maybe that would be a good start. ... View more

Ah, this is such a great activity @mrmusic! Who is a role model in your life? What have they done that has made a positive difference in your or someone else's life?   My dad is easily a role model in my life. His ability to face adversity head on, love unconditionally and always look out for the needs of those around him are qualities I admire greatly. While he isn't here anymore, these are qualities that I constantly try and embody.    Another role model of mine is a lady I met while on a uni trip overseas. At the time, she was an Australian living in the US leading a social enterprise. I admired her ability to apply her skills and passions to a meaningful cause and also be proud and comfortable of exactly the person she is. What are some qualities in yourself that can make you a role model for others?   Similar to @lennycat2017, I believe my resilience is a quality that could make me a role model.  ... View more

Hey @LizO1997,   Sounds like you've got a lot going on at the moment dealing with your mental health, climate change and your nan and her expectations that are quite different to yours, is that right?   It can be so challenging when the people we love have different ideas about what they want our life and time to look like. It can be a really difficult balance between what we want and maintaining a relationship that is important to us. Have you been able to chat to your nan about how you're feeling?   Also, you mentioned you've been thinking about hurting yourself, so I just wanted to double check that you're safe?  ... View more

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx   I hope you hear back about the cardiologist appointment soon!   Sorry to hear some of your supports have left lately, that's tough. You mentioned your math teacher called your mum and referred you to the counsellor, how do you feel about that? Is your mum somebody you can talk to about how you're feeling?   I also just wanted to say that you're definitely not worthless or fat. I've seen you constantly offer amazing support to other users and it sounds like you've got some amazing musical ability! Would you consider spending more time on your art and musical talents to take your mind off the sport until you see the cardiologist?     ... View more

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx,   I'm really glad to hear you're safe, although I'm so sorry to hear how tough things are right now. I can only imagine how awful it would feel to be told you can't play sport, especially due to something you can't control. When do you see the cardiologist?   We haven't chatted much on the forums before, so I'm sorry if you've answered this question before, but what type of supports do you have outside of the forums? Would it be possible to mention to your guidance counsellor that you've had some bad news and would like to speak to them?   While different to what you're going through, last year, I had a pretty nasty injury and was told I couldn't elevate my heart rate above a certain point during my recovery which really sucked, as like you, I love sport! Although one thing I could do was go on walks, which was a really helpful way to be outside and active without risking my health. Do you know if there is anything physical you can do that won't jeopardise your health?   Being vulnerable like you have tonight takes so much strength and courage, I really admire you for that @xXLexi_Lou122Xx. I know sometimes it can feel so difficult to reach out for help and when we do it sometimes isn't received as we would like, which really hurts. But it is 100% worth it and you are 100% worth it. ... View more

Hey @Jane_Rose!   How exciting is it planning and then going on a holiday?! Do you have any favourite places to go?   I recently went to Vietnam and it was fantastic. Would definitely recommend it from a culture, food and picturesque point of view.    I'm not sure what part of Australia you're from, but WA is well up there as a place to travel for me. Perth is a super cool city, with amazing coast line, parks and cafe scene and regional WA has some incredible natural beauty   Have you got a shortlist of places you're thinking about? ... View more

Stare ... View more

Senor/senorita, what is your favourite food? ... View more

Hey @Jazzy_Fizzle, sounds like things have been difficult lately. Did you want to share a bit more about what's been going on for you since you first posted? ... View more

Hey @alonechild3,   I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. It's such a difficult thing to deal with, regardless of your age, but I can imagine it would be really hard to come to terms with given you were two when it happened.    As @TOM-RO  and @Tiny_leaf mentioned, I don't think you ever get over losing a parent, so I'm sorry people around you are making as feel as though you should be over it. I lost my dad earlier this year and my partner lost their mum at 11, both to cancer and while it happened to both of us at really different times and stages in our lives, it doesn't make the loss any easier to deal with.    You mentioned you feel alone in dealing with this, what did you think of @WheresMySquishy's suggestion about somebody close to you that you could confide in? Also, have you heard of Canteen? It's a really great community that brings together a whole host of young people that have/had cancer themselves or within their family. Sometimes it can be really helpful talking to others that have been through something similar.   Take care @alonechild3 and let us know how you're getting on ... View more

Hey @Jazzy_Fizzle,   I just wanted to check in and see how you've been travelling? ... View more

Hey @Jazzy_Fizzle,   I get what you're saying about sharing things, it's a massive thing talking about what you're going through here in the first place! You're doing great!   I'm a bit older than you. So my dad was first diagnosed when I was 16 and he died when I was 22.    Sorry, I should've been clearer. What I meant by looking after yourself were things along the lines of self care. So by that I meant taking time away from the stress of what you're family is going through to do things that you enjoy. So for me, this could be going for a walk or drinking a cup of tea. Little things that can have a really positive impact on the way we feel. The forums have a great list of distractions and self care ideas here ... View more

Hey @Jazzy_Fizzle,    I've got to agree with you, it's incredibly difficult. Similar to yourself and @WheresMySquishy, my life has also been impacted by cancer. I actually lost my dad to cancer only a couple of months ago.    Watching your uncle go through this and knowing how it affects your dad would certainly be challenging. Is this something you could speak to your dad about? Sometimes with big, scary things like cancer, it can be really helpful to connect with those around us, like your quote mentions.    As you mentioned, when cancer comes crashing into our world, it can change the whole family dynamic. How are you looking after yourself during this difficult time? Although not all of the resources will be relevant, CanTeen is a really great website that may have some information for you on coping when a family member has cancer, if you're interested.    Thinking of you @Jazzy_Fizzle, it's such a difficult thing you're going through right now.    ... View more

@scared01, I'm sorry things are still so hard, you've certainly got a lot on your plate with invasive tests, surgery and really tough anniversaries. It's such an overwhelming feeling when you've got things being thrown at you from all angles   What do you think could help with all of this right now? Is it possible to enlist some extra support to get through this rough patch? ... View more

Amazing questions!   - Do you prefer summer or winter? I'd have to say summer. I love daylight savings and being able to go to the beach or do some exercise of an evening without it being dark and freezing!   - What is your favourite hot beverage? Good question. I love tea and coffee. I always start my day with a morning coffee, but always finish my day with an evening tea , so tea and coffee are tied in my eyes    - Socks or slippers? Up until last year I didn't wear either in winter! Then my eyes were opened to this whole new world of warm feet during the colder months haha, but probably socks   - What is your favourite rainy day activity? Sitting inside with a cup of tea watching the rain is always lovely    - What is the best way to stay warm during winter? I'm lucky enough to have a fire in my house which is amazing for winter, if not, a whole lotta blankets  ... View more

Hey @scared01,   I'm really sorry to hear things are so rough right now. You're such an incredible member of the RO community and offer amazing support. Like @queenP and @Tiny_leaf said there are so many people who'd be willing to chat/distract you when needed.    Look after yourself @scared01. Hope to see you back online soon.  ... View more

Hey @Sunflower8,   I also wanted to check in and see how you're going?   Here for you.  ... View more

Hey @Charlie-29-1999,   I'm so sorry to hear about what you've gone through recently, I can only imagine how scary it would've been going through all of this and it's no wonder you're feeling anxious. Could you discuss these feelings with your doctors? Going through a medical emergency like you have is life altering, no doubt, and I am wondering if your doctors may have any suggestions on managing the fear and anxiety associated with this experience and your condition?   In regards to not wanting to be alone, is there anybody that would be able to stay with you for a little while or that you could stay with?    Take care @Charlie-29-1999  ... View more

Hey @Cheeseburger, I'm really sorry to hear about your breakup, they're definitely no fun. It is awesome to hear that you've got more friends now and you don't want to rush anything new, sometimes after a break up it can be really nice just being you for a while. As the others mentioned, have you got some ways to look after yourself while you deal with this?  ... View more

Hey @scared01, it sounds like things are pretty tough and tiring right now, I'm really sorry to hear that. You're so right, it's really tiring feeling like you need to be the strong one all the time.   If my memory serves me correctly, in a previous post you were talking about teeing up some additional supports with your caring responsibilities, is that right? If so, how are you going on that front? I know that being a carer can be so draining, not to mention dealing with your own physical and mental health on top of that.  ... View more

Hey @Sunflower8,   I'm really sorry to hear that things are feeling pretty tough right now. It's such a challenging thing that you're dealing with and you're right, after some of that numbness and shock wears off things can start feeling pretty overwhelming. It's awesome to hear that you've got support around you though, have you mentioned to them some of the things you've brought up in this post?   Turning 18 is a big thing for anybody, not to mention the added layer of losing your dad and negotiating adulthood without somebody who seems like an amazing influence in your life. As I mentioned in a previous post, I lost my dad a couple of weeks after you did and while I'm a little bit older than you, it's really scary looking into the future and wondering what that's going to look like. While there is nobody the same as your dad, is there another adult figure in your life that you may be able to seek guidance from? This is a question I've given thought to myself, so I looked at people my dad was close to like his best friend or favourite brother, people that I know my dad really valued.    Thinking of you, @Sunflower8. What you're dealing with right now is so tough, but it's amazing the you're reaching out  ... View more

Love this, @Hozzles!   1. Who are your LGBTIQ+ role models and why? Growing up, I definitely looked up to Ellen DeGeneres, probably largely because she was one of the few LGBTIQ+ public figures at the time and because she just seems so comfortable with who she is and I think that's awesome! Taylor Smith (professional soccer player) I would also consider a LGBTIQ+ role model of mine. She speaks openly about being gay and christian and I really appreciate her ability to be completely true to who she is.  2. Why is it so important to celebrate gender/ sexuality diversity? Because we are all different and being different is amazing. I think it's so important to recognise that everybody is unique and no matter how you identify, you are just as important as everybody else. Plus, celebrating gender/sexuality diversity (or just diversity in general) helps us change what is considered 'normal' and let those around us know that it is ok to be you, in whatever form you are most comfortable.  3. What can we do to build a more inclusive society for LGBTIQ+ people? I think having conversations and building awareness has a big part to play. Often people have preconceived ideas about the LGBTIQ+ community which purely stem from lack of awareness and knowledge. Calling out homophobia (if safe to do so) may also help.  I also find that modelling inclusive behaviours myself also encourages others to do the same.  ... View more

So many amazing responses, everybody!   Have you ever shared your story with somebody else? How did you feel before/during/after? I've shared parts of my story both publicly and privately. The first time I shared publicly, I remember being beyond nervous. Somebody actually came up to me at the end to let me know how much my hands were shaking during my talk haha. I think sharing in this setting has become more comfortable for me over time with practice and it's such an awesome feeling at the end knowing what you've just accomplished and when other people can relate to what you've been talking about. I probably find sharing in more intimate settings more daunting! At the end, it's generally such an amazing way to bond with that other person/group of people and really break down some barriers/preconceived ideas that we may have about each other, but at the beginning and during, I'm definitely freaking out.    Why do we share our experiences? What do we (the storyteller) get out of it? I think sharing our experiences really helps to break down the barriers we seem to put up between ourselves and others. We're all human after all and by us being vulnerable, it may encourage others to do the same. I find it super rewarding, especially when your experiences are shared with others. Sometimes it can take a real load off if you know somebody else is experiencing/has experienced something similar.      What are some things that have held you back from sharing your story and talking about your experiences? I definitely agree with you @lennycat2017 and @WheresMySquishy, other people's perceptions and reactions are a huge factor. Fearing that other people may treat or think of you differently. I think it feels safer to hold everything close and not put yourself in a position where other people potentially may judge or react in a negative way. To mitigate this, I definitely make sure I'm comfortable in the environment before I share anything. ... View more

Vacuum ... View more

Glad to hear you're feeling better, @Sunflower8! Are there particular things you've been doing that have been helping? Thanks for asking about how I'm going :). I'm just taking every day as it comes. Allowing myself to have a crappy day if that's what's needed, but also being ok with feeling ok too.  ... View more