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Nathan5653
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since
15-11-2012
16-12-2013
197
Posts
146
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16-12-2013
10:04 PM
5 Kudos
Great responses everyone! Great to see everyone being so involved and actively keeping themselves mentally healthy. Here's the summary for this year's final Getting Real session!
Over the summer holidays parties tend to be wilder and involve more drinking and even drugs. Are there any strategies that you use or could use to stop being peer pressured in these situations?
A large part of what we’ll do at a party is influenced by who we hand around with. So to prevent ourselves from being put in positions where we will be peer pressured, it is best to choose to hang around people who are more responsible and know their limits. Another strategy is to pre-empt, this is achieved by talking to your friends beforehand about your intentions to either drink moderately or not drink at all. One important thing to keep in mind when we are peer pressured is to be assertive, it is tough going against a crowd but stick to what you have decided is best. For more info on staying safe while partying check out http://au.reachout.com/Safe-partying.
Parties over the summer holidays tend to be awesome fun but also can get out of hand. What are some dangerous situations at parties that you have seen? How do you avoid becoming wrapped up in these situations?
Over the summer, as we experience the highs of partying with friends and the lows of boredom, we can find ourselves in some pretty dicey situations. Some of the common situations which we can get ourselves wrapped up in during the summer holidays involve activities that are especially dangerous after drinking like: swimming, driving and getting into fights. To avoid getting caught up in these situations and doing something we regret we must remember to drink moderately. And if we are too intoxicated, remove ourselves from the situation such that there is no escalation or chance of doing something we regret. Another great strategy is to stick around friends, especially those who haven’t been drinking. Contracting an STI is a bummer on so many levels – not only does it affect our physical health, it can affect our mental health too. What are some ways to protect yourself from STIs this summer?
The best way to avoid the nasties is protection! If you are going to do the deed you need to be prepared, if not do not proceed! It may be embarrassing to be seen buying condoms but getting an STI is magnitudes worse. To be extra cautious it is best to only hook up with partners that you trust.
People were initially really happy with the holidays and their newfound freedom but it didn't take long for boredom to set in. However, everyone was also able to think of ways to combat the boredom. Examples include finding more opportunities to hang out with friends, and cultivating skills and hobbies. The Christmas holidays is a time for extended family contact. This can be stressful because everyone has different expectations and ideas and these can clash over time. People suggested that ways to make things easier for everybody included taking time out, and respecting one another and their space. It was also suggested that one should not favour one family member too much and to spread their attention amongst family members. Having a routine or weekly schedule is important in helping us achieve a good physical and mental lifestyle. Some of the more common and helpful suggestions to incorporate into our schedules were exercise, having some sort of work to do, social outings, and cultivating hobbies. While it's great the holidays allow us to relax, it's also important to keep ourselves both physically and mentally healthy by having routines. One important point for keeping mentally healthy is to make sure to get out of the house more!
Have a great holiday everyone! And thanks for making this year's Getting Real sessions so real!
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16-12-2013
09:51 PM
1 Kudo
@delicatedreamer Wow, that's a great plan. Especially the point about getting up at the same time everyday. I know that all of my friends and I have really erratic sleeping patterns now and it's affected all of us negatively.
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16-12-2013
09:42 PM
Next question guys!
Throughout the year we put off things that we’d like to do due to a lack of time. Now that it is the holidays, what are 3 things that you would like to work on or do? Can you think of a routine or weekly schedule that will incorporate these things to make your holiday more productive?
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16-12-2013
09:26 PM
1 Kudo
Seems to be the opposite for me. The holidays were so boring for me at the start but I'll finally be having stuff to do in the coming weeks. I think something people could do is to compile a list of things they want to do. For me, that's been reading and learning how to code.
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16-12-2013
09:19 PM
1 Kudo
Great responses guys, always wear a raincoat. Now on to the next question...
6. After the initial rush of excitement to start the holiday’s boredom usually kicks in as we aren’t used to having so much free time. How do you deal with the boredom?
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16-12-2013
08:52 PM
Fights on occasion, but good thing about having security in parties so they can handle things without getting police involved. I think it's important to just stay level-headed and not to be too wrapped up with group behaviour.
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16-12-2013
08:47 PM
Good responses everyone! Here's the next question...
4. Parties over the summer holidays tend to be awesome fun but also can get out of hand. What are some dangerous situations at parties that you have seen? How do you avoid becoming wrapped up in these situations?
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16-12-2013
08:46 PM
1 Kudo
@Pillow That's great. It can seem hard to withstand peer pressure at times but I've never seen anything bad come out of someone standing their ground. If they're good friends, then they should understand.
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16-12-2013
08:32 PM
@rt262 Not entirely sure yet. All I know is that it'll be experimental studies involving rats and it could involve nicotines or diet studies. I'm really just excited for being able to be more hands-on with my uni experience!
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16-12-2013
08:30 PM
@Myvo Haha superficiality depends on how you want to spend the money.
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16-12-2013
08:23 PM
Going skydiving some time in late December. Also got a research project to do in January that I'm really keen on. So the latter half of the holiday has much more going on for me. Really looking forward to it.
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16-12-2013
08:19 PM
1 Kudo
Great responses guys! Seems like for most people, it's been a shift from doing lots to doing nothing at all...
Here's the second question:
2. What are you most looking forward to over the coming holidays/summer?
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16-12-2013
08:15 PM
1 Kudo
Yea, it's actually really weird. Being busy and then suddenly having nothing to do has in its own way added a ton of stress for me as well.
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16-12-2013
08:12 PM
1 Kudo
Have a friend who's been doing the same thing for a while and he introduced me to his agent. Nice way to make some spare cash haha and pretty much anyone can do it
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16-12-2013
08:07 PM
2 Kudos
Holidays sucked for the first few weeks, because it's weird having no routine when one's been so busy for the last couple of months. But things are starting to be better with more things to do. Had a fun experience being an extra in an airlines advertisement
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16-12-2013
03:47 PM
1 Kudo
For most of us, finishing our year of education or work has been something that we were looking forward to. Plans were probably made for the break and we were all relieved we no longer had to attend school, uni or work five days a week. But for some of us, it also doesn’t take long to realise that the holidays can be LONG (for uni and school at least) and that we don’t have plans for every day of the week.
For example, pretty much all of my friends and I were looking forward to the holidays. Today, I just told them, “My God, I wish I could go back to uni so I’d have a routine.” Most of my friends agreed. Lack of a proper routine as well as any concrete goals has led to me slacking off on a variety of things such as my health, self-improvement, and other positive things.
The summer holidays are also a time for letting loose after a year of hard work - and for some people this means some hardcore partying! As it's the last session for the year we'll have a bit of a chat about the the things we can all keep in mind to avoid killer hangovers and STIs.
This next Getting Real session will be about ‘looking after yourself in the holidays’. We will be talking about how to keep safe in summer during the holidays. I think it’s safe to say that summer is when most parties are held. However, it’s important to also consider some important topics that go along with this, such as safe sex and peer pressure. We will also talk about the dreaded boredom and most people experience during the holidays and how we can tackle such as problem.
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06-12-2013
10:50 PM
2 Kudos
Hi @BeachBabe ,
You're not alone. While reading through your post, I kept thinking, "That sounds exactly like me!" Just to give you an example, my friends like to go to the gym, clubs, and festivals while I'm the type of person who prefers reading a book or hanging out with just one person. And like you, I feel bored quite often when out with my friends as well. I think Lex's comic strips really described introverted people well.
One other thing about introverted people is that a lot of people may think they are stubborn, and treat it as a reaction against them. I think it's important to let your friends know that you're your own person and sometimes prefer to do things your own way or by yourself rather than go with the group. I decline a lot of invitations to hang out with my friends, but I always let them know that I appreciate the invitation. The reason for the decline is not because I don't want to hang out with them, but simply because I have no interest in the activity.
Hope this has helped. Feel free to come back if you want to talk more or know more!
Nathan
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26-11-2013
09:21 PM
Just wanted to echo what others seem to have said. Public places seem to be the safest option. You might even bump into a friend or two which means someone else will remember the person you're hanging out with. Funny though, since I've never been even close to a situation where I was that friendly with someone online...
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26-11-2013
09:18 PM
1 Kudo
Hey @foreverinfinite ,
Your post just reminded me of some friends I was very close to during primary school. They were a girl who was my age and her brother. We were neighbours. At the end of grade 5, they said their family were going to Korea for a holiday and would be back in the next year, but they never returned. I find it a little weird how I'm still reminded of them when I see Korean girl and a slightly older Korean guy on the streets.
By the way, I think it's great that you sent her a message. Like Gabi said, it does suck that something that used to be so great is no longer in your life. I still find myself on occasion thinking about them. Did your friend ever reply to your birthday message?
Nathan
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15-11-2013
11:38 PM
Hi Xiera,
Just wanted to echo what NigroC and Beep said. I also just wanted to mention that you're not obligated to feel enthusiastic or happy about the same things that other people usually feel good about, though if you feel that it is because of a problem or difficult situation you're in right now, then I also suggest talking to someone about your feelings.
Nathan
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04-11-2013
09:47 PM
1 Kudo
Great responses guys. It was really cool to see everyone so engaged with the discussion! Here's a summary of all of your responses.
People said that the best thing about their schooling years were the friendships and relationships they made. Towards the more senior years, people became less focused on drama and relationships became more deep and meaningful. Music also seemed to be a big part of people's schooling experiences.
When we talked about things we enjoyed about the HSC, it was hard to find things we truly enjoyed but there was the practical aspects as well as laughing with friends while studying – and most of all – we enjoyed when it was over!
It seemed like the most challenging aspect of people's final examinations was how stressful it was and the pressure surrounding it. People were made to feel like failing would have really bad consequences. The importance of high grades was probably the biggest factor contributing to people feeling stressed out. The huge increase in workload from the junior years to the senior years also stressed people out.
The support of family and friends is very important in helping cope with the stress of the final exams. Also, it's very important to recognise that your final exam is only one way of entering uni. There are many other pathways available. It really is not that big of a deal in relative to other stuff in your life. Being able to see beyond the immediate uses of the stuff you're learning about may also help increase motivation to study.
Emotions that people felt after completing their exams included relief and anticipation (for the results). It was also strange how school is something spend 13 years of our lives on and after a couple of days of exams, it's over. But that was made up for by the fact that everyone gets to party and celebrate afterwards.
For our sole HSCer, thinking about beyond the HSC that finished today, Bee said “I am still kinda unsure about what I will do. I have a couple plans and ideas, but nothing is set in cement. Whatever happens happens”. But for others, there was a gap year, travelling volunteering, work and uni. In terms of immediate celebrations, chilling out and treats were the order of the day.
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04-11-2013
09:19 PM
@Bee I was quite sad during the graduation ceremony, especially seeing my year advisor start crying towards the end. Made me tear up too haha.
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04-11-2013
08:53 PM
3 Kudos
Not sure if this counts for as a tip but a few days ago, I was thinking about how much I wish I could redo my HSC. I remember back during high school, I felt like the stuff I was learning was useless. But my attitude towards that has changed. I guess in advice format it would be: try not to find any immediate use in what you're learning but realise that the stuff you learn could somehow really benefit you in the future.
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04-11-2013
08:40 PM
2 Kudos
The most challenging for me was knowing that I wasn't going to get a good ATAR but having to try my best regardless. Although looking back, not doing well during my HSC has provided me a lesson in failure which I'm sort of grateful for now.
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04-11-2013
08:33 PM
Wow, sounds like most people had a rough time during their final exams. At least everybody appreciated it being over. On to the next question then...
3. Again, whether you did it this year or not, what was the most challenging thing about the HSC?
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04-11-2013
08:22 PM
During the HSC period, all of my friends and I spent most of our time in the library. It was funny, because there was a lot of socialising and I'd met a lot of new people as well. So I guess the HSC wasn't that bad.
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21-10-2013
11:24 PM
Hi drhalloween,
First of all, it's really commendable of you to ask for help. A lot of people aren't able to do the same thing so good on you! I just wanted to echo some of the replies given to you. I also think that it'll be of great benefit to you if you spoke to someone about your feelings, be it a family member, a friend, or a counsellor. I saw a counsellor before for my own anxiety issues and she was a great help. Regardless of who you speak to, the most important thing is that he/she is someone you trust and is someone you can confide in.
Also the thing about writing 5 things you like about yourself everyday, or just 5 positive things in general (I don't think even I could write down 5 good things about myself everyday! Maybe 2 or 3 though), is actually more helpful than it sounds. Listing/writing about the things you are grateful for also helps. In the meantime, perhaps you could read up on these fact sheets so you understand everything just a little better:
http://au.reachout.com/How-to-manage-anxiety
http://au.reachout.com/Depression
Hope this helps,
Nathan
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15-10-2013
09:57 PM
1 Kudo
Not really related to left or right-wingness but I read a book by David Mamet called Three Uses of the Knife. In it, he claimed that political campaigns were good representations of the dramatic structure and the ones that won were usually more symbolic (eg. fight for a better tomorrow!) versus focusing on actual concrete issues.
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14-10-2013
10:09 PM
1 Kudo
Hi AshleyGroch,
Welcome to ReachOut. It's very brave of you to be able to share your feelings with us. You're not alone in this; a lot of people have shyness/social anxiety themselves but are unable to ask for help for it so kudos to you. NigioC's advice and the factsheets are really helpful. I can personally attest to that as I use the same techniques for myself and I've seen a lot of progress in the decline of my own social anxiety.
One thing that I noticed before is that when I was anxious or nervous, I would do a lot of stuff called safety behaviours. For example, when I was nervous around people, I would just take out my phone and start checking stuff. Perhaps next time, if you're in a similar situations, you could ask yourself if you're doing anything that's sorta like avoiding. I found that recognising these safety behaviours really helped me along.
Hope that hopeful. Let us know how you go
Nathan
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08-10-2013
11:59 PM
greenletstango,
I'm so sorry to hear what's happening. It sounds like it's been a tremendous weight on you. However, I got the impression from your post that you genuinely care about your mother. Like blithe said, it doesn't sound like any of you are neglecting your mother. Actually, reading through blithe's post, I agree with everything that's been said. It's important to have your own life too; how else can you support your mother if you're not supporting yourself?
You sound like a really caring person from your post. I hope everything goes better for you, your mum, and your family. Please feel welcome to let us know how you're going.
Nathan
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