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recharging_intr overt
Builder
since
04-06-2019
13-12-2020
73
Posts
207
Kudos
0
Solutions
13-12-2020
07:25 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @Lemone, thank you for sharing your experiences with us, it's so awesome and brave of you to be so open and trusting. It sounds like your relationship is in a bit of a confusing and tricky spot at the moment, would that be fair to say? It can be so difficult when you're in a relationship with someone who has very different ideas about how to communicate feelings and emotions and navigate through conflict. Not matching up on those things can feel like an uphill battle. It sounds like trying to talk through issues in the heat of the moment when you're feeling quite emotional and your partner is about go out is leaving both of you unsatisfied, maybe? Do you think one strategy you could try is setting aside some time, not when you are in the middle of conflict but just on a regular day when you both have time and are feeling pretty neutral, to sit down together and talk about how you each like to be heard and have your feelings validated? Sometimes we have to kind of teach our partners how to care for our emotional needs, even though you might think this should just come to them naturally, it often doesn't. Do you think that strategy could work?
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13-12-2020
07:07 PM
3 Kudos
This thread is such a good idea! I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately about this year and trying to appreciate the positives so it's been great to hear that you have all had some positive experiences too! 1. My housemate, who I love, had to move out buuuuut an old friend of mine who I also love but rarely get to see anymore is moving to my city and going to live with me! 2. My long-distance partner gets to spend much more time at my house with me now that he is working from home. 3. I was able to maintain employment and use that work experience to get into a competitive uni course. Feeling confused but grateful about everything I have had the opportunity to experience this year
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22-09-2020
04:58 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @Jimh, I'm going to second what the others have already said here - you've already taken such an amazing, brave step by being honest, not only with us, but with yourself about your drug and alcohol use. It sounds like you've been struggling with this for a really long time, which I am truly sorry about, so it might be a good idea to reach out to an alcohol and other drugs (AOD) specific service, if you feel comfortable? They might be better equipped to help you and might take you more seriously than the previous professionals you have dealt with? Having issues with drugs and alcohol is very common and absolutely nothing to be ashamed about, but you deserve to get help working through these issues. We are all here for you to support you in any way we can
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22-09-2020
04:47 PM
2 Kudos
@StormySeas17 definitely! And it's hard when you know those people are trying to be helpful, but maybe they just haven't learned the active listening skills to be able to truly help you. I think, like you said, that's when you really have to take charge and teach them how best to support you, which feels a little weird in the moment but will help you in the long run!
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26-08-2020
10:39 AM
1 Kudo
Yes @Hannah-RO! I find I always get my clothing caught on things when I'm already running late to something and trying to get ready as fast as I can - worst possible moment it could happen!
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26-08-2020
10:37 AM
That is so hard @Tiny_leaf, especially because GPs can be at the very centre of your allied health connections so when you have to find a new one it can make little ripples for all the other ways you see health professionals. Good on you for deciding they weren't suiting your needs though and taking action
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25-08-2020
03:15 PM
Today I saw this meme... ...and it made me think of earlier this week when I had a really bad day and I was doing the dishes of a nighttime and I broke a glass on the sink. I had one of those 'of course something else could go wrong' 'this is the last straw' kinda moments and it tipped me to my breaking point. My partner ended up making a joke that eased my tension and I felt very much like 'if we don't laugh, we'll cry' and everything was okay in the end. I wanted to hear from you all: have you had a moment lately where something happened and it wouldn't have normally mattered to you but under the circumstances it just felt like the final straw?
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25-08-2020
02:53 PM
2 Kudos
Hmmmm yeah @StormySeas17 I definitely get where you're coming from with those two issues and I can say that I have been on the receiving end of similar things myself! That's a hard one about your partner, considering you have already tried to voice your concern to them about it in the past. I guess the only things I can suggest would be to keep reminding them that you really don't find that language ('aww') helpful and remind them every time they use it - it has to get through to them eventually right? You could really emphasise to them how it makes you feel and perhaps suggest things for them to say that would be more helpful to you? That, or if you find this only really happens over text you could reserve getting serious issues off your chest for when you can talk to them about it over the phone or in person? Along the same lines of what @WheresMySquishy said, if you know that your friends are often guilty of turning the conversation onto themselves when you try to come to them with a problem you could try and get in there proactively, before you have even initiated the conversation, and say something like 'Hey, I have this issue that I really need to talk to you about it, would you mind if I have just ten minutes to vent about myself?'. That can really strongly signal to them how you want the conversation to work and may mean that they're going to be more focused on supporting you. Let me know what you think about these suggestions - I'm genuinely very interested to know if you think they would work or I'm waffling a bunch of nonsense
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20-08-2020
07:20 PM
5 Kudos
Wow so much great advice and insight @WheresMySquishy. Thank you for all the resources (especially that Psychological First Aid course link!). Fantastic advice @November13, choosing to have the conversation in a safe space definitely makes all the difference to help someone open up and have an honest conversation. My top tip is that things are always better said with a cup of tea in hand! I don't know if this is just my circle of friends, but I always find that I have the biggest and hardest conversations over a cuppa. Even just holding the mug and feeling the warmth can bring so much comfort in hard times.
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20-08-2020
07:04 PM
1 Kudo
Great thread to get back on! My all time favourite happy song is Dancing in the Moonlight - Toploader. It alwayssss gets me dancing And anything Lizzo - particularly Truth Hurts
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20-08-2020
06:49 PM
3 Kudos
Hi @Brian6787, I get how you are feeling, this lockdown definitely means less natural opportunities to develop a relationship with a person. If you're already chatting a bit on Instagram and Snapchat maybe a nice and small step might be to start chatting over messenger/text/etc? This might allow you to get more of a prolonged conversation going as opposed to something like snap chat If all goes well at that stage you could move to some of @TawnyOwl's great suggestions? I find that playing little online games together while Zooming tends to be great for date-like situations because it gives you something else to focus on when the conversation goes a bit quiet What do you think?
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17-08-2020
08:35 PM
5 Kudos
Hello to the most recent builders @funnyusername and @h0peful - big big welcome! I absolutely lovvvvvvve the Office @h0peful, as I'm pretty sure like 90% of the population does too, that show is objectively hilarious! I only recently discovered that an extended version of Threat Level Midnight is on Youtube - have you seen the full version? It's amazing. @funnyusername I'm sorry to say that I didn't vibe with Peepshow My partner loves it though so maybe it's time for me to give it another chance? Hope y'all enjoy your time here
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21-07-2020
04:49 PM
2 Kudos
@Love_elmo77 I'm glad that you felt like you could contact the kids helpline and that it made you feel better (even if it was just a little bit). How was your day today? Did you get to do something fun for yourself? What do you like to spend your time doing?
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16-07-2020
08:42 PM
Hi @Clementine75! It sounds like you're in a really tough position and that it's weighing heavily on your mind. I really like what @Anonymous said - that relationships don't need to be really serious to be worthwhile. If it is the case that your anxiety mainly comes from overthinking things too much then it might be useful to try to take it one day at a time and not put too much pressure on your relationship. One the other hand though, all your doubts may be signalling to you that a romantic relationship with this person just isn't right for you. Even though you are good friends, get along well, and this person communicates that they are into you romantically, it's okay if you don't reciprocate the romantic feelings. And if you call things off now, remember, it's not the be-all and end-all. You may come back together in the future when you are both ready - you may not! It may be a little awkward for a while but I know from personal experience that high-school exes can be great friends again!
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16-07-2020
08:21 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @Lucyb1996, Thank you for being so open with your feelings and the worry that you have been experiencing. I can definitely relate to your experience of increased anxiety during the time of COVID-19. This year was already going to be a scary one for me (finished my degree last year and was looking for a job and what the "next step" would be) and so everything that this pandemic has brought with it has made it all so much worse. My anxiety was also leading to a lot of irritability. I found that even just trying to cook a simple meal with my partner (we typically work well together in the kitchen) would make me feel anxious, over-stimulated, I would lose my concentration and as a result would lash out at my partner over something as silly as gluggy rice. I have been finding that bringing everything back to the basic self-care stuff like getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising has really helped improve my anxiety. I have also been giving mindfulness meditation a go and I find it really useful!! You are not alone in how you are feeling This is a crazy world and you are doing amazing
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16-07-2020
08:00 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @Love_elmo77! I'm sorry to hear that things have been difficult for you at home. I think it's amazing that even when your parent didn't support you wanting to receive counselling you knew what would be best for you and did what you needed to in that moment. You sound very strong and brave Parents aren't perfect, they sometimes get it wrong, and they're still learning and growing too. If you found the kids helpline useful would you consider using that service again if you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling? The reach out forums are of course always here for a chat too, so thank you for connecting with us!
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22-06-2020
09:37 PM
4 Kudos
Great post @ecla34! It served as a really good way of prompting me to reach out to an old work friend of mine that I used to be quite close with but haven't spoken to in a while. Our conversation ended with him confessing to me that he's actually really been struggling with his mental health as of late and asking me how he should go about seeking professional support. I feel amazingly grateful that he felt he could trust me and open up about his feelings in the way that he did - I know that's not always easy for men. It takes so much courage to admit when you're not okay.
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22-06-2020
09:27 PM
2 Kudos
Hi @Tiny_leaf, it sounds like you're having a very frustrating time waiting to hear the outcome of this NDIS funding. I haven't personally had to deal with the NDIS system myself, but I can definitely understand the feeling of your whole life hanging in the balance while you wait for another person to make a decision that seems like it could effect everything for you. It sounds like you're doing so well under the circumstances I hope you are able to get some sleep tonight!
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20-05-2020
06:11 PM
5 Kudos
How does music help you through tough times? Sometimes when I'm sad I'll listen to sad music and just wallow in my sadness, which in theory doesn't sound helpful but it's actually really comforting to know that other people go through hard times too and there's people out there who know your pain. But sometimes it'll do the exact opposite for me too! Like listening to really upbeat, happy music to break me out of my funk and help me feel good. If it's a really pumped-up song it can even push me that one step further and get me to go for a run or some other exercise!
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12-05-2020
07:28 PM
2 Kudos
@ecla34 Great idea for a Weekly Wellbeing!
@Anonymous Wow that sounds like you have the most amazing routine working for you - I admire your drive!
Like many of y'all my shakeups tend to be food-based hahah I've been ordering takeaway from a lot of local restaurants that I haven't had the chance to try before and I've been making sure to order directly through the business (not ubereats etc.) so that all the profit goes to them! I've also been trying out a bunch of different recipes and using ingredients that I'm not so familiar with - it's been a great experiment so far! I'm not a big baker but last week I made a caramel mudcake and it was delish
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12-05-2020
07:08 PM
@Janine-RO we have played Codenames, Exploding kittens, and Secret Hitler so far! All very fun and easy to learn/manoeuvre games! @WheresMySquishy Yeah tabletop simulator is great, I would recommend it! It takes a bit of getting used to but we started off playing games that don't use too many pieces so it made it easier to learn
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04-05-2020
02:12 PM
2 Kudos
Most of the time when I used to hang out with my friends it was to play boardgames. Over the last few weeks we have been exploring a few ways to translate our favourite boardgames into the virtual space and discovered a few nifty things! We downloaded this game (available on Steam) called Tabletop Simulator where you can download mods of pretty much every boardgame ever made and play with your friends virtually as if you were actually playing on a table and manipulating the pieces. We also found netgames.io where they have made really simple and free online versions of a couple of card games. These - combined with zoom - have been a pretty good substitute for actually playing in person! Check them out if games are your thing!
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04-05-2020
01:52 PM
2 Kudos
... taking myself out early for a big walk along the creek. I didn't want to because it was starting to spit rain but I put my coat on and rugged up and actually found the rain on my face so nice! I definitely needed the fresh air after being cooped up all weekend.
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01-05-2020
05:05 PM
1 Kudo
Hey @CMC02! Thank you for being so open and sharing with us how you're feeling. I remember my friend having a really intense conversation with me when we were 18 years old saying that she thought she was asexual because she had never felt sexually attracted to anyone and had no interest in being involved in a romantic relationship. A few years later she did some travelling, opened herself up to new experiences, and started to become sexually attracted to people. Now she is in a long-term relationship with her male partner. I guess I wanted to share this because even though by 18 years of age we are legally considered adults, we still have a lot of developing to do, and for some people this part of their identity comes later. It's okay to feel exactly how you're feeling. It's okay for how you're feeling to change. And it's okay for how you're feeling to not change. You do you.
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01-05-2020
04:43 PM
1 Kudo
@Anonymous thank you for the book recommendation, I'll definitely get stuck into it! I really appreciate you taking the time to recommend resources for me
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21-04-2020
11:22 AM
3 Kudos
Thank you so much @Anonymous for starting this thread and to everyone for sharing their experiences! I have recently begun working with young autistic children and have been trying to learn more and more about the experiences of autistic people so that I can perform better in my work but also just been more conscientious in life too! I'm definitely going to have a good troll through some of the resources you have shared here
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17-02-2020
12:11 PM
2 Kudos
I always thought Valentine's Day was such a silly over-commercialised holiday but the idea to use it as a day to practice self-care or share the love by volunteering for others is so beautiful! Everyone on here is so inspirational I was given a little chocolate heart by my mum on Valentine's Day. She said it was given to her by someone and she wanted to pass it along to me. When I saw my friend later that day I gave it to her! A small example I guess showing that it's not just about receiving gifts but about sharing the love!
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03-02-2020
11:22 AM
6 Kudos
What things do you commit your time to? e.g. school work, family, hobbies. Do you find it easy or hard to manage your schedule? I'm usually super busy with uni taking up most of my time, but seeing as I'm taking a year off study I've found myself very free and even quite bored over the past couple of weeks! But work, travelling to see my family and partner (who all live 2 hours away), spending time with my different friend groups, staying active, cooking, reading, and being with my housemates. I find it pretty easy to manage. I feel like I have good organisational skills and I religiously write things down in my diary. It might get a bit tricky this year though because I'm going to be juggling multiple jobs...
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03-02-2020
11:11 AM
1 Kudo
If you want to have something different for your brekkys but know that you never have time in the morning, chia puddings are a good thing you can prep the night before! It's so easy; you just mix up chia seeds, coconut milk, and a dash of vanilla essence together, portion them out in little tupperwares/jars, and pop them in the fridge. Then in the morning all you have to do is get them out, maybe put some fresh berries on top, and eat! So gooooood
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