@MisoBear I generally just listen to music or watch YouTube. ... View more

Hey @MisoBear, I really don't know if I can talk to anyone else, I don't really know what I can or would do. ... View more

Hey @Jess1-RO that's exactly how I feel. Haven't confirmed if I'm seeing them this weekend, hopefully it works out. I'm looking forward to it, I just want to talk to someone about everything face to face, I think it will be reliving to get everything out. ... View more

I feel like I can't do anything on my own, I feel like I can't even be alone. I'm never the centre of attention or try to get attention but I feel almost selfish for wanting to be around others needing attention. I just really don't feel like my self or normal when im alone, yet I'm can be so awkward in social situations. I really hope I can talk to my friend this weekend. ... View more

Stall ... View more

Where Did You Sleep Last Night • Nirvana Sad Guy • Sly Withers ... View more

@Bre-RO  I'm feeling like I'm just back to where I was the first time all of this started happening. I'm just feeling really lonely again, like no-one is there for me. Lost, idk sad definitely, and now I hardly see anyone because I've finished school. And I guess everything I feared prior is now becoming reality. I know alone time is good but I think I've had too much, I really wish someone were here right now. ... View more

I don't even want a relationship with someone, I just want someone to talk to and be there for me. I think I'm starting to fall back to where I once was, I think I'm starting to loose all progress I've made. ... View more

@Bre-RO I really don't know, that's not really an issue anymore. ... View more

I think it's fine to talk about what "happened", it was at the party that I was taking about around two weeks ago. It's about this girl who I met there, she was "all over me". We were both under the influence of alcohol but she was clearly more effected by it. We talked and she asked more than once if we could go talk somewhere else, away from everyone else. I froze once again, I couldn't move and I can't even remember what I was thinking at the time. I guess I didn't want things to go any further that night because I felt like I would have been taking advantage of her and I didn't want to ruin the friendship that was created that night. But I've managed to ruin it all by myself throughout these two weeks. I got asked more than once by my friends if anything happened that night, or why I didn't and like I said I felt like I would have been taking advantage. Now I've been thinking what if something did happen that night, how different would everything have panned out. Would things be better than what they are now. ... View more

@Tiny_leaf I really don't know, it goes from one to sort of an extreme. That's what I'm also sorta thinking about if I were to choose the other option. How would everything be now. I don't know if should discuss the topic here or not as I know some of the people who use the forums are young and I'm not sure if it breaks any of the rules and guidelines for the forum. ... View more

@Tiny_leaf I think what you said is right, I think I'm begging to doubt my desicion. ... View more

@Tiny_leaf I really don't know, I know what I did was the right decision, I think. Everyone will say it's the right decision too. But no-one has said anything about it, not even the person involved. I don't know why I'm even still thinking about it, it happened about two weeks ago. ... View more

This is a weird feeling I have, for some reason I want recognition for something I did. I just want to hear someone say that I've done the right thing but posting this makes me sound selfish almost idk it's weird. I know if I say what I did everyone will say I've done the right thing but it's almost like it's been forced out. It's confusing and I really don't know how I feel or how to express what I'm feeling. ... View more

@Esperanza67 I've just been trying to sleep the whole day ahah. ... View more

The party was pretty good met new people, made friends. The only bad thing is that I didn't get much sleep aha. In the end "she" never came that I know of. Land of disappointed because that was a big reason why I wanted to go. I didn't know she was going when I was invited. ... View more

@Eden1717 I completely understand what you're saying. Didn't know you had to be 18 to be diagnosed with it. I've heard alot of therapists don't want to have a patient with BPD or something idk. I think I'm just going to keep on going and if in the future I need to see someone I will. I don't know how to describe it, like I don't want there to be something wrong with, I'm not trying to force a disorder onto myself but I feel that I'm not 100% good if you know what I mean. ... View more

@Tiny_leaf I will try but I have almost no idea what to say. That's if she will even want to talk to me. ... View more

@Tiny_leaf hopefully actually meeting "her" for the first time, having a proper conversation. I just don't want to fuck up like I've already somehow done, I don't even know what or if I've done something.  ... View more

@Tiny_leaf yeah, I know it's a stupid thing to worry about but I can't help but think about it. 😒 ... View more

@Tiny_leaf that's no good. How I'm feeling? Ngl I'm honestly starting to freak out about tomorrow. ... View more

Hey @Tiny_leaf, how are you doing? ... View more

Hey @MB95, welcome to the forum. The community on here is great, everyone is respectful and I'm glad you're here to join. I can't confirm if everything I've experienced or feel is related to BPD, I'm still yet to actually see someone about it. I know I should, I know they're professionals and all but I'm still scared I guess. Pretty sure I can confirm that anxiety has a part to play but I'm not a doctor aha. ... View more

Hey @May_ , It may bring up unwanted/unexpected feeling and like you were saying not much control over them. My mum has said she will get me if needed. But about telling others mmm idk I really don't feel like they need to know. ... View more

Hey @basketofmonkeys , I mean I can only try. ... View more

Hey @Andrea-RO,   I haven't really talked to anyone I know about what's happened, I've only mentioned something to one of my friends so they will probably know what's up. I'd like to think everything will be fine, I hope we can talk normally, like nothing happened but this will probably not be the case. I'm still yet to find an answer to why 😒. There will most likely be alcohol involved soo anything, any plans I make may be affected. The only thing I would really like to get out it is maybe an understanding but mostly just make everything even, normal I guess idk, just not how it currently is. ... View more

Hey @Esperanza67, yeah there will be a few people I'm friends with and I'm going there with a good friend. In that sense it's fine, I will know people that are going to be there it's just everything else I guess. ... View more

I'm feeling quite unsure, scared, anxious about this Saturday. I'm going to this party and I've recently just found out that "she" will be going aswell. It's just going to be really awkward I think because of what happened, it's like she doesn't want to talk to me and we're actually going to be there. It's caused alot of distress and other things to come up previously but I think in a way it's helped me understand what's happening and why things happen. I just don't know what I'm going to do or be like, how I will act, how she will react to me just being there 😒. I tried to message her about three weeks ago and I really don't know why I did, I still don't know why I can't just forget about everything and just move on. I really don't like thinking about all of this. ... View more

Hey @Tiny_leaf, I hope your feeling better. I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel, the pain, stress and just everything must be alot for you at the moment. Just take the time you need to rest and feel fully restored 🙂 ... View more

I graduated the other day and I'm not really understanding what happened I think idk. I think it will hit me this week with all the spare time I have because I'll be bored doing nothing. Can't tell if I've dissociated or what cause I'm not really feeling anything, sorta like a blur, kind of have to question if anything that's happened is real. ... View more