Hi @Blurryphaced  👋 I was just thinking about you and wanted to check in and see how you're doing?  ... View more

That's okay. I get it. It must be so difficult having them there all the time.    Other than writing is there something else you could try to try and make your mind less busy? Have you ever tried one of those colour books where you colour in the lines and stuff? They don't always work for me but every now and again if I force myself to stick it out rather than giving up like I usually do, I sometimes find myself drifting off a bit and quieting my mind?    I also have really bad sleep and one thing I've recently noticed is helping is having a candle lit.. I bought a nice scented one and the flickering of it seems to wear my eyes out after staring at it for a while. Obviously it's a candle though so I have to remember to blow it out which sucks cause I often fall asleep before then! But have you ever tried a candle?  ... View more

Thanks @Bre-RO ❤ I had a bit of a backwards day today with everything and feeling really low all of a sudden and not wanting to go to my session or try this group thing. I just get so angry at myself for needing it.    I really appreciate your comment about it being okay to take time to feel safe though because I think that's why I keep getting like this is because I'm scared and then I just get angry and try pushing everyone away. And by everyone I mean my therapist because I haven't got many other people to push away 😂   I haven't got too much planned for my weekend cause I'm working and have quite a bit of uni to get through unfortunately. I recently moved house though and am still in the process of setting up my room because I haven't been feeling it. Might try do some of it tomorrow though in the hope it'll boost my mood.  ... View more

I'm sorry to hear that writing things down isn't helping but I am very proud of you for trying. As you would already know, certain things don't always work for every one. The main thing is you gave it a go!    Sleep is such a shitty thing for us I find. It's like we need it to feel more alive and with it, but we can't seem to get it because we are far too alive and with it! Doesn't make sense to me.    When they aren't letting you sleep are you able to talk to them? Like do you feel like you could have a safe conversation with them?  ... View more

Thanks @Janine-RO. I think writing is definitely the way to go for me because I noticed a huge difference with being able to let my psych know how I'm really feeling and for her to actually understand. So I will definately try it on Thursday at my next appointment because there's quite a few things I want to talk to her about. I feel like my mind is so full at the moment and I just need to let it all out. I'm trying so hard to let her in and I think writing helps break some barriers for me. Because I do feel really safe with her, I just have to get out of my own head and stop trying to run away from her and just accept the help. I'm very slowly starting to realise she does want to help me and isn't going to just leave me.    Have you ever been part of or run a group session yourself? If so what did you think of it? And how did you know it was something you were ready to do? Or any suggestions on how I might be able to tell if I'm ready?    Also, you can probably tell from my message but I'm feeling quite a bit more open and positive today. I'm trying to be anyway! Even took myself for a walk by the river and found that really helped 😊 ... View more

Thanks @Alison5! There's a part inside of me that really wants to do it because she wants to find some like minded people who I can potentially share real stuff with. But then the other me is terrified because I don't want anyone to know I'm going and I'm scared I might run into someone I know. I know the uni is huge and it's highly unlikely because I don't really know anyone there but it just freaks me out.    I also know I'll just pretend everything is fine when I'm there and hide my shit to help others instead, it always happens when I meet people. I act like I am completely normal and mentally stable/healthy. Like this weird survival confidence comes out in me when I know someone else is struggling. I just forget my own shit and make friends with them really quickly because I don't like that they are alone or finding things hard so want to help them. When really, I need just as much help? But I'll never let them know that. If that makes any sense? 😂 So I'm also kind of worried that that instinct will kick in and my psych will think I'm fine in social situations which 200% is not the case! It's hard to explain.. but if I know someone is just as 'unstable' or alone or whatever as me, it's like this strength comes out of me from nowhere to hide my own anxieties and help them instead? Like if we did this with my class at uni, I'd 100% not attend because I'd be far too anxious. Whereas this is different because I know the people attending will need help? I really don't know if that makes any sense.. 🙃   I'm going to chat with my psych about it next week and see what she thinks. The flyers did say we had to commit to all the sessions which freaks me out. I think there was only like 5 but even then it scares me because I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for it just yet but I really don't want to let my psych down if I bail. Cause bailing is my thing 😂    Did you ever form friendships from the group therapies you attended? Like I don't even know if this is classified as a therapy? I'm not sure.. it's just a group of up to 12 people and we are going to learn to deal with social anxieties and meet new people etc? Idk. I'm hoping my psych will explain it all to me next week because I feel like I really need to prepare myself for it. ... View more

I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling @Eden1717. What sort of sickness and pain are you feeling? Like sick in the stomach from nerves or something else? And what sort of pain? Emotional or physical? I can hear the exhaustion you're experiening and hope you are able to find something to help relax and relieve some of your stress and fears. I know you've tried most things and have no doubt tried this a few times, but just wondering if writing or drawing things out into paper might help you get some of it out? Idk, I find it sometimes works for me cause then it's there right in front of me and I can step back and look at it? Totally get it if you don't want to try it or have in the past and it hasn't worked, just thought I'd suggest it 😊   Whats your general sleeping pattern like by the way? I know how exhausting mental health can be but just wondering how your sleep is and if we may be able to help you work on that a little to try and boost your body's energy levels somehow and help you try and get one up on this battle? ... View more

Thankyou @Bee ❤ Do you have any tips on how to make it easier to let her in? Cause I'm really trying but it's like everytime I come close I freak out and shut off again.. I struggled a bit this week and think it's cause I didn't have anything written down so am thinking that will be one way that's going to help push me 🤞   And thanks heaps for your message the other day too @Alison5 ❤ My account did that same thing where it told me you responded but it wouldn't show me your message till now.. 😔 But it was so nice to read and made me feel more comfortable about my letter being so long so thankyou!    I do have a question for you guys.. I saw this flyer at uni about a group thing they are running to help people with social anxiety (one of the many things I struggle with) and I have been thinking about putting my name down for it for a while but the idea of it freaks me out. I know it'll probably be good for me but I also don't know if I'm ready for that kind of thing just yet. Especially with how intense my anxiety has been lately. I also mentioned it to my psych while we were booking my appointment for next week and she said she'd forgotten to ask me about it that day but wanted to see if I'd be interested in doing it. She told me she is actually the one running it and wants to chat to me about it next week. I'm not sure how I feel about it though.. I was already really anxious about it and now that I know it's her running it I feel even more anxious for some reason. Like I am kind of relieved because she knows where I'm at and I'll feel safe with her being there but I'm also scared she is going to be there?!    Have any of you guys ever done group therapy type work? And if so, what did you think if it?  ... View more

Thankyou so much @Janine-RO ❤ I guess I just struggle alot when I feel like I'm failing at something and people are relying on me to do well (e.g. my psych in this case). I'm just so scared of letting her down. I hate not being able to keep up with peoples expectations, whether they be my own or from others. So when I go backwards it just makes me feel like a failure and then it keeps spiralling from there. I just thought I'd be better by now and past all of this. I cannot wait for the day there is pie - I am going to pig out! 😂 I really LOVED that so thanks for sharing, I've screenshot it as something to look at when I need a reminder. I really am trying but guess it's just alot harder than I expected to work through everything.    As for today, the numbness and anger at myself isn't as intense as yesterday. It's still there but mostly I'm just physically and mentally exhausted. I couldn't wake up thismorning and was late to my uni classes. I freaked out because I was and almost drove straight back home but I made myself breathe and push through it and go to class and I'm so glad I did - felt like a small accomplishment. So I really am trying, it's just exhausting and takes alot out of me.  ... View more

And thankyou for just letting me ramble!! I promise I do try and keep my messsges short but for some reason I ALWAYS fail to do so.. 🤦‍♀️ ... View more

I love it @scared01 ! Procrastinating from studies is always the best.. and worst! 😂 Are you at uni or still in school? If you're at uni what are you studying? I'm not sure if I've ever asked?    Yeah, I feel like people don't know how to support me because I am so good at pretending everything is okay. People are always comparing themselves to me and saying I have my shit together when it is so goddam far from the truth! I just feel guilty for not being able to tell them but also kind of annoyed that they just assume I'm fine. I'm always the one people come to for help (which I do love and appreciate) but sometimes I just wish they could tell I'm struggling just as much, and alot of the time I'm finding things even harder then them. Like no ones problems are worse than anyones, we all deal with things differently but sometimes I just feel like saying to them that I'm struggling to even stay alive at the moment. I don't know, I don't mean to sound like a bitch. I just wish people understood that even those who seem like they have their shit together are also struggling..   That totally makes sense!! There are only two people I've ever shared things with and would call my true supports and they're my two best friends but they live in Canada. Like I get along with people at uni and I guess you could call them my friends but I'd never share personal information with them.. it's so weird! I guess I just really don't want my psych to think I'm lying to her and don't need her help because I really do. I've had enough people give up on me and really don't want her too as well!!    My psych has mentioned a few ways to prevent panic attacks or try calm down from one - particularly the breathing. But I often find they come on fairly quickly and then I really struggle to stop them. I'm getting a little better at it but I guess today I just forced myself to go to my appointment and ignore what was happening when realistically I should have taken a moment to calm myself down a bit first. If you feel like sharing some tips though then I'd love to hear them! 😊    I hadn't actually thought about that as being a trigger.. but honestly, now that you mention it I think that could be it. I've always struggled seeing my psych but the anxiety around it has just grown into something else recently. I feel like ever since I told my parents I've been seeing a psych it just got worse because I feel like I'm going behind their back for not talking to them instead so I feel really guilty about it and then when my psych saw me with my friend from uni and with our group it just got worse again from there because I felt like she was judging me and was thinking I was a liar. It's weird. I'm scared to look like I have my shit together around my psych but then I'm scared to look like I don't have my shit together around every one else?!    As for a diagnosis, I've never actually asked my psych before because I don't know how to ask her? But my GP has put in my records that it's anxiety and depression so I guess my psych would say the same?    Thankyou so much for always sharing your own experiences with me @Alison5! I feel like we are fairly similar and that our families have quite a lot in common. So I do really appreciate when you share because I feel like I can really relate to you so get alot out of it. I do wish my parents would see someone but I'm not sure they ever will. I just wish they could understand why I can't talk to them about things. Especially my mum, she feels really hurt by it which I hate. I know we'll all eventually get there and one day I'll open up to them more but I just really find it hard not to blame myself at the moment or regret telling them. I'm trying really hard to just focus more on myself at the moment though and am thinking of talking to my psych next week about the guilt and asking if she has any recommendations on how I can deal with it? Unless you have any?    As for tonight, just talking to you guys and knowing there are people out there is really helping so thankyou so much for responding guys, I REALLY do appreciate it!!! I also just got off the phone to my grandad and just hearing his voice lifted my spirits. Made me homesick, but has reminded me of how lucky I really am to have the family I do 😊 I was pretty low before but just chatting here and having that phonecall makes me feel less alone so THANKYOU!!! ❤ ... View more

Hey @scared01 😊   Thank you so much for responding! I'm quietly thankful you're procrastinating 😂 What are you trying to avoid though? I hope it's not anything too important!    I'm so relieved to hear you can relate because I just feel like I'm going crazy and I feel so guilty. I'm just so used to hiding it because I've been hiding it the past 10 or so years so it's completely normal for me. But then I feel really guilty for some reason whenever I see my psych because I feel like she thinks I'm lying. Like we often talk about how I don't have any support here etc. but then the other day she saw me with some girls from uni working on our assignment and I couldn't help but feel guilty because then I thought she would think I have heaps of friends? When I don't lol. I'm not sure that makes any sense but I just feel like I'm lying to everyone at the moment for some reason and I feel so guilty.    Yeah I think it might have been a panic attack but I wasn't too sure. I ended up blurting out to my psych about my hands and how I was afraid and couldn't control it, but I think she noticed it before I said anything and was just playing it cool as always because she knows it makes it worse if she addresses it with me because I feel evenmore embarrassed!!    I'm not sure.. like every now and again I feel like I'm making progress and like I'm feeling more positive towards things and believe I can get through things but then I just crash completely. Like I have no motivation, I freak out at the smallest things and I just feel angry, upset and isolated. I just really want to disappear and for everything to end. I feel like I don't deserve to live if I can't be happy. I keep trying and then keep ending up here and I guess I'm just getting so tired of it? I really do want to get better but there's so many more downs than ups and I can't seem to fix it?   ... View more

Also thanks for your message @Alison5 ❤ My account has been playing up a bit for some reason and says people are responding to my posts and things but when I click on it they don't show. It did it with all of yours for some reason so I'm only just seeing this now!!! I wasn't ignoring your response!!!     It's really weird. I want them to ask questions (kind of).. more just ask how I am. But I'm really not ready to answer some of the things they might want to ask. Especially around suicide. Because I know my mum is definatly not ready for that. I did briefly mention I think she should see someone but it was more for herself then for helping me so she didn't take it too well and made some comment about not everyone needing a psych which kind of hurt. I know she didn't mean anything by it but it did upset me. Think it was just her way of telling me she really doesn't like the idea of me seeing one because she doesn't think I need it. But anyway, that's life. At the moment I'm just keeping it to myself because it seems to just make things worse when I mention something. Mum's pretty vulnerable at the moment with her own shit but she won't do anything about it because she thinks she's fine. So I'm just leaving it all be at the moment and trying to focus on myself and not feel guilty about seeing my psych for help instead. ... View more

Hi guys,   I know I'm on here quite alot and I'm sorry to be annoying but just wondering if anyone is around for a chat? I don't even know what about. I'm just feeling really off and alone. I keep trying so hard and think I'm getting somewhere but realistically it just feels like I'm ignoring things and fooling myself into thinking I'm okay. My anxiety has been through the roof lately and I can't work out why. I spent most of today with a crazy tremor in my hands and unable to concentrate on anything. And when I went to see my psych it just got worse and I felt really nauseous. I'm just really frustrated because I'm trying really hard but feel like nothing is changing and like I'm never going to get better.    Also, has anyone ever felt like people think you're lying about how you feel because you're so good at hiding it?  ... View more

Hang in there @Eden1717.  I'm sending hugs your way! ❤ ... View more

Have you ever thought of going minimalist @cupcakes_032 ? Or are there certain things you try to do to avoid clutter etc? ... View more

That's awesome to hear!!  Thanks for letting me know @cupcakes_032 😊 ... View more

Thanks @Andrea-RO ❤ ... View more

Also thanks for sharing that story @Maddy-RO! I thought I replied to it!!  I had a bit of a laugh to be honest because I can totally relate to how your boyfriend was feeling! 😂 Dreams can suck!! ... View more

Hi @scared01 - thanks for checking in, I really appreciate it! ❤   My sleep is still very much the same, although the nightmares have calmed down a bit. Now it's just really weird dreams!    I actually saw a different GP this week and she seems really good so I'm going to stick with her. I feel bad leaving my old one but she only seemed to care about writing me a script whereas this one actually listens to what I have to say and seems like she genuinely cares. So my psych has managed to convince me that it's okay to change to her. We talked about my sleep and I didn't go into the nightmares cause she could tell I was scared but I told her I'm having them and she wants me to talk to my psych about them too. Before she looks at prescribing me anything she wants me to work with my psych to try and form a better sleep routine and go from there.    So last night I had a candle burning and was listening to a podcast and fell into a deep sleep! Lucky my housemate got home late slamming doors cause I realised I'd forgotten to blow out the candle! But then I was wide awake after that which was frustrating!  ... View more

I am hearing you @Blurryphaced ❤   It really is awful when they start to think we are strong enough to not rely on them as much, if at all. I mean, it's an amazing thing and shows how much progress we've made but realistically it sucks and it hurts when you have that special bond with them. I honestly don't really know what advice I can give you as I am personally struggling with this alot at the moment myself so don't want to make it harder for you but I really am here to listen, understand and talk it out as I can completely relate ❤   At the end of the day (as much as we might want too) we can't rely on them forever, nor can we keep them in our lives forever. It's cruel and it sucks but I think we just have to put our trust in them that they know what they're doing, and also put the trust in ourselves to know that we can do this alone too. You've allowed yourself to be vulnerable with her for 3 years so of course it's going to take time to even adjust to the idea, let alone it actually happening. So just be honest and don't be too hard on yourself.    Believe it or not we also share another quality - not being able to tell people what they mean to us. I know how hard this topic might be to bring up to your counsellor so am just wondering how you might feel about writing it out and giving it to her? I'm suggesting this because someone on RO suggested it to me and honestly, it made everything so much easier! I feel like my psych has a much clearer understanding of me now and how vulnerable I am to being hurt and how serious my attachment can get. I had tried talking about it in the past with her but I felt like she didn't realise how much I actually struggle with it until I wrote it down for her to read. Especially if you are feeling like she isn't quite hearing you anymore than maybe writing it down might help? You could write some of what you've told me?    I'm also going to tag a few people who have been a huge help for me recently in the hope they might have some better advice than what I have been able to give! @Alison5  @Janine-RO  @Jess-RO @Andrea-RO    But hang in there! It will get easier eventually, you've just gotta make it through the adjustment period! And don't forget to be honest with her along the way.    In the meantime, I'm here to listen ❤   P.S. do you have a close friend you might be able to start relying on a little more while you're trying to adjust?    Also.. has your counsellor actually mentioned about ending sessions or is it moreso how you're feeling? I forgot to ask this!!  ... View more

Aww @Blurryphaced, this has REALLY hit home for me so I completely hear what you're saying and I am so sorry you're feeling this way. I have recently been struggling with the same sort of thoughts and feelings, although thankfully my psych thinks I'll be seeing her for a few years yet but the thought of her leaving me really hurts, scares and upsets me. She recently suggested I cut back on my sessions so I totally get it and I can't even imagine what 'the end' of the relationship would feel like, especially after 3 years.    If you don't mind me asking, how regularly would you see her? Like weekly, fortnightly, monthly etc?    It sounds to me as though you are a bit scared to stand alone? Like you're not entirely sure you're capable and are scared she isn't going to be there for you anymore? And it also sounds as though you may be a little attached and possibly used to relying on her alot more than you realised? Please don't take any of this the wrong way because I am the EXACT same and just want to let you know you are not alone and it is perfectly okay to be feeling hurt by this!! ❤   Like I said, I've been struggling alot with this at the moment (I have REALLY bad attachment issues) to the point where I'm not actually getting anywhere in therapy because I'm too busy being upset and scared about the day my psych and I go seperate ways which she has assured me won't be for a very long time yet. Funnily enough though we briefly touched on it earlier in the week so I want to try and share some of what she said to me in the hope it may help you too if that's okay?    First off, I think it's really important for you to tell your counsellor how you're feeling. She may not even realise how much even the thought of it is impacting you - I know mine didn't. Sadly they don't read minds, I wish they could!! But if she knows how scared and upset you are then she will do her best to make the adjustment as smooth and easy as it possibly can be. It will still be tough because you've formed a special bond, but hopefully it will be less tough if that makes any sense?    It's important you speak to her about what's scaring you too. Despite not being able to see her as much, is there something else that is worrying you? Maybe that you don't have the confidence you'll be able to cope without her? If so, then if she knows this it is something you'll be able to work on together until you do.    I know my psychologist has made it very clear to me that she will always be there if things get too tough to handle again once we go our seperate ways. I may not be seeing her as regularly but if I need to see her, she will be there. I'm still having a hard time accepting this myself so understand if you can't, but I am sure your counsellor is the same and that she will always be there if things change. Maybe she just feels you are strong enough now to face things without her support?    I'm not entirely sure, but I think the most important thing is to be completely honest with her about how you're feeling. I had my psych fooled into thinking I didn't need her anymore and that we could drop back from weekly sessions to fortnightly but it wasn't until we tried it that we both realised it wasn't a great idea just yet. We are getting there, but taking baby steps! So I honestly cannot reccommend honesty enough. If I hadn't told her how much I was struggling then I wouldn't be back seeing her weekly as I am now and I'd be silently struggling. Which I'm sure your counsellor does not want for you!!    I feel like I've written all this in the most confusing way possible but just try and be honest with her and don't feel bad about being hurt by this because you've formed such a unique and special bond with her so of course it's going to hurt. Unfortunately it's just a bond that you can't really continue on through life and that SUCKS!!! It hurts. Like hell. So I really do hear what you're saying.    I'm happy to try chat more about it if you need someone to listen and will try keep my responses alot shorter than this one 😂   Thinking of you. Just don't forget how strong you are in amongst this okay? Because you CAN do it ❤   ... View more

These are great guys!!  Thanks for sharing ❤ ... View more

Thanks for the tag @Janine-RO ❤   Like you, I found this to be quite challenging so needed a couple days to try and think about it. It's sad we often can't come up with things we like about ourselves, yet if we were asked on the spot I know I'd be able to give you a whole list of things I don't like about myself. It's weird the way it works.    Anyway.. I think I have managed to come up with 3! One that is very similar to you actually 😊   1. I am VERY loyal to those I love and care about and would do absolutely anything for them. I always put them first and am never far away when things go wrong and they need support.   2. Despite everything I've been through, I am still standing today. It hasn't been easy, and I still have a long way to go but I've finally reached out for help after years of doing it on my own and feel confident that if I just push through and let my psychologist in things will start to change. Easier said than done, but I'm slowly making progress 😊   3. I am a HUGE family person. We have our ups and downs, sometimes more downs then ups, but I'd never trade them in for anything. They are my everything ❤ ... View more

Aww thankyou to whoever nominated me, it made my day 😊❤ ... View more

Sorry @Eden1717, I didn't mean to make it sound like you weren't struggling because I know you are so I'm sorry I upset you. I was just trying to remind you that you are strong and can get through this. I know you don't see it but I do. We all see things differently though and I appreciate that and am sorry for upsetting you. Hang in there and I really do hope things become easier for you soon ❤ ... View more

I'm so sorry to hear things aren't working out the way as planned for you @Eden1717. It's always a kick in the guts when it happens. From all your posts I know how strong you are though and am hoping that this is only a motivator to fight even harder than before. I know it may not seem possible right now (trust me, I've been there) and like you want to give up on everything but if it's something you truly want deep down and are willing to fight for it then I'm sure it will all work out in the end. The important thing is to not give up because you CAN make it happen! And with your strength and determination you show on here, I know that if anyone can make it happen it's you. Allow yourself to feel how you're feeling now because that's only natural. Just try not to be too hard on yourself and don't forget about the fighter that's within you. Because she can get through anything! She's come this far, so I know she can keep going ❤  I really do feel for you because those emotions are never fun to sit with. Remember we are here to listen and if you feel like sharing what it is you're upset about we may be able to help offer some suggestions. I find when I'm really low sometimes another perspective can help. But I always have to be open to it first and ready to hear it because it doesn't always work out so I have to be in more of an accepting headspace before I do try to open up which can take time. We are here when you're ready though ❤ ... View more

Thank you @Jess1-RO. It really does mean alot ❤ ... View more

Thank you so much @Jess1-RO. I would be a total mess without the support on here so thankyou. Just checking in to see how today went really means alot and makes me feel so supported and like you guys genuinely care. I know it's just part of your job, but thankyou. Seriously. ❤ There is no better feeling than feeling like someone has your back and is willing to listen.    I won't lie, thismorning was pretty tough and I felt so sick heading in for my appointment. I just felt extremely off. And for the first part it really showed with how anxious I was but I was so relieved when my psych asked if I ended up writing anything. I told her I did and it was long and I was embarrassed to give it to her but she was so genuine about it that she managed to convince me to let her read it. She took her time and read it properly which I REALLY appreciated and then we talked some of it through and tried to come up with a game plan for these next few weeks.    I still don't feel amazing about it all but today did remind me about why I keep going back to see her. I'm usually so against the idea but she really is the right fit for me and today was the reminder that I needed. I've got such a long way to go but now that I was able to fill her in on a few things with my letter I feel like I can make it work. I'm still really anxious and scared and not ready to let her in completely but I know she's the only one I do want to let in and now that she is aware of how I'm feeling I'm hoping it'll help with moving forward. Time will tell I guess. But she told me she isn't going anywhere and that she wants to be there for me which I think I really needed to hear because I'm so scared of her bailing and giving up on me. I've just got to convince myself now that she really does mean it.    But just being able to have her read something to give her an idea of things and then elaborate on it when she talks to me about it was so much easier!!! I felt like she alresdy knew things from reading it that it took alot of pressure off of me which was nice.    So thanks heaps to every one who has suggested writing things down for my therapist because it 100% works for me and is going to hopefully make the harder things that little bit easier to bring up and talk about.   I know it's not going to be easy and I'm going to probably have a lot more set backs like my psych mentioned today but I do somewhat feel that with the support on here and the support from my psych I'll get there eventually. She thinks it'll take a few years, but as long as I get there in the end I'm happy.    Thanks for just letting me rant guys. I know it was pretty pathetic to get so worked up but I just couldn't help it. But thanks for the ongoing support and advice ❤ You guys really do rock!!!  ... View more

Thank you so much @Alison5! ❤   Your way sounds like the way to go next time. I was similar in the way I had dot points and then wrote it all out. I wrote it on my phone first which turned out to be a stupid idea because I stayed up till 4am doing it and now it's on paper it's 5 pages long!!!!!    I'm not entirely sure what to do now because my appointment is in 2hrs and I don't have time to rewrite and shorten it. I feel really stupid because I asked her in my email yesterday if I could take something written in and she was happy for me too but now it's 5 pages I'm so scared to show it to her cause it's way too long and I'm so embarrassed! And I haven't even touched on half the things I wanted too.    I don't know if I should bother taking it now because I feel so stupid about how long it is. But I'm so scared to go today and know I'm going to be too anxious to physically put words together. I feel sick already and it's only going to get worse as it gets closer to my appointment. I honestly just want to cancel all together but I don't want to let her down. My GP told me yesterday that I need to see her and my psych told me to keep the appointment booked and I can just leave early if things are too much. I don't know what to do 😔   I also have a group assignment I'm meant to be working on but don't want to go in till after my appointment cause they might see me walk into the psych office and I don't want them knowing because I'm so embarrassed! But they might already be at uni anyway so I don't want to lie to them either incase they see me. Sorry I'm just really anxious and didn't get any sleep so everything is seeming 10 times worse than I'm sure it actually is. I'm trying to pull it together but I'm struggling! ... View more