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Lost_Space_Expl orer5
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since
13-04-2020
28-01-2021
2931
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3658
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28-01-2021
01:29 AM
1 Kudo
I'm really glad things feel a bit lighter for you at the moment. And yes the safety plan helps the other person feel less anxious but it also reminds you that people care, feel more confident about staying safe, and have something you're somewhat obligated to follow by your past self and supports :p It's sneaky like that haha. You will get there eventually, you're so strong and you're mumma sloth!
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28-01-2021
01:17 AM
1 Kudo
Hmm I like the idea of the journal but not the keeping things to yourself. I would much prefer you 'overshared' and were safe rather than you getting hurt. The staff are there for a reason but it sounds like you have told them about any plans? Well they are limited to what they can do but they do have a duty of care. It's been a long day for you @MB95, try and get some journalling in and some rest! I like the idea of you going into work tomorrow, it might be a good distraction!
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28-01-2021
01:00 AM
1 Kudo
@MB95's safety plan For Lost's peace of mind Here's a template for you hehe. I put some examples but change and add what you think is helpful! Also you don't have to fill this out but I strongly encourage you! My warning signs e.g. wanting to isolate myself, crying, trouble sleeping, etc? My reasons to live e.g. family, friends, pets, sloths, RO forum friends, finishing my studies and helping others, laughter Keeping myself safe e.g. letting the RO staff know any plans I have via the forum email so I can keep myself safe, removing anything I could use to hurt myself from sight Coping strategies e.g. self-care, RO forums, walking People and places I can be around to keep me safe e.g. with my housemates, RO forums People I can talk to e.g. RO, helplines (text based or phone), calling uni counselling centre to tell them I need help(?), GP
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28-01-2021
12:36 AM
1 Kudo
Aw no oh well dogs are pretty cool too! @Eden1717 I'm shook you didn't know hairless cats were a thing @MB95 🤣
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28-01-2021
12:33 AM
Oh also I'm a little worried about the 'other things' you've got planned... Do you think you could email the RO staff on the forum email and let them know what your plans are if you haven't already? Obviously you can't post them on here but that could be helpful? Just so we can keep you as safe as possible right now? It's not like I'm wrapping you in bubble wrap! Haha I just want to do everything I can to help out rn
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28-01-2021
12:28 AM
@MB95 I had to edit our responses a little cause I was worried it was going a little too close to the guidelines and might give someone ideas :( I didn't think sorry. As for a safety plan, could we use something like the beyond blue format? It's generally pretty good. So like warning signs, who you can contact, safe places, etc? Do you have the app? I know safety plans can be unhelpful but it'll put my mind at rest that we have your commitment to following it
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27-01-2021
11:27 PM
That's okay @Eden1717 your mum sounds like a good support from your family what you've said in the past, it's always good to have a family member who's there for you. The bug thing sounds really really scary how do you manage it?
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27-01-2021
11:22 PM
1 Kudo
Lol hairless cats are okay but I love the furbabies I have already :p They certainly can be very cheeky. My youngest knocks over bins, jumps in the fish pond repeatedly, slaughters lizards (the older one does that too actually), etc
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27-01-2021
11:19 PM
2 Kudos
Ah bugs crawling on your skin sounds terrifying @Eden1717 :( 'Hosting mode' sucks and can be so exhausting. Is your grandparent understanding with mental health stuff- are they someone you can talk to about it? Mmm grandparents can be like that with saying offensive things. So can parents. And when you try to fight back respectfully it can just end up going in circles.. that's my experience anyway... I'm not sure how I can help with that other than saying I can relate haha
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27-01-2021
11:11 PM
It's okay @MB95 I'm okay. I'll admit I am quite worried about you but that's not your fault at all. I will try to look after myself first :( @Hannah-RO I've been keeping watching the show lol. It's okay I scare easily too! I told my friend and she had the same suggestion about the damp cloths to cool them down and I was like duh I'm so silly and my cats loved it! I keep telling them to take off their fur coats in the heat but they don't listen
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27-01-2021
11:01 PM
It's okay @MB95 I'm just being overprotective of you cause I'm so worried :( I'm sorry I do trust you to keep yourself safe it's just hard because you don't seem to have a safety net to catch you at the moment and I can't catch you because I'm limited as to what I can do on here. I suppose that's good for me to have those boundaries but it would be so good if I knew there was someone there to catch you outside of RO because I would be so sad if something happened.. All those times you guys have saved me :( I don't like the idea of you sitting with your thoughts right now 😭 And I don't much like the idea of you going AWOL camping on your own right now either haha.., when so much is going on for you. But.. I have to let you make your own choices and keep yourself safe or reach out to someone who can help if you can't, and trust you with that so this is on me to try and not get too worried.. Can we make a safety plan on here together so I know you'll be safe or is that too pushy of me? *sigh*
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27-01-2021
08:06 PM
What do you mean you don't think you'll be here anyway @MB95? I'm getting a few mixed signals here.. I'm wondering what you're wanting to tell us? Is there something you need right now? I agree about her promising not to go anywhere... Health professionals shouldn't do that, because they can't promise that. How was your walk along the beach? Hm.. you're going somewhere without reception for a few days... Is anyone going to be around as an extra safety factor? Please stop saying you're sorry, you don't have to be. Thanks for being so honest with us today. We really care about you
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27-01-2021
05:04 PM
Hey @MB95 it's understandable to feel angry and hurt that you're limited to 10 sessions with her per year. I have a feeling it's a management thing because my uni counselling had a similar 6 session limit, but it's confusing as to why it's changed all of a sudden. I really don't think she wanted to hurt you and it's her job to make sure you have other supports there when she can't be there. 10 sessions should give you a little time to sort out what you want to do next, whether you want to continue therapy or what other support you can pursue. I know things are really intense at the moment but there's no rush to figure out what it is you need. You may be right in thinking she thought you hung up on purpose and is trying to give you space. I'm not sure. Either way it can't hurt to give it a few days to decide whether you will call back? It can be really good to have that last few sessions of therapy to wrap up and review what you've worked on so you can get that closure. I know you're feeling pretty done with therapy and it's totally your choice what you do, as long as you're doing it for reasons which are right for you. Don't be sorry for posting you don't have anything to be sorry for
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27-01-2021
03:51 PM
@MB95 I'm so sorry you're losing your only support. I hope you're able to get a new support, did your psych mention referring you out to anyone? It's really disappointing that she hasn't rung back but fingers crossed maybe she will? Idk I hope she does. I just wanted to query you saying you'll be okay... I know you've proven we can trust you to keep yourself safe but I'm just really really worried. Alarm bells are going off because you don't seem very supported at the moment and I just feel something is wrong. Will you be able to keep yourself safe? And will you be able to contact someone if you're not feeling safe (even if it's like via a text based chat or calling an ambulance)?
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27-01-2021
03:05 PM
When you say your psych isn't an option, did she say something, or is it because the phone cut out? I can hear how alone and hopeless you're feeling right now it makes sense that you don't see the point anymore. There is a part of you that does want help though, I think. A part of you that has hope. Because you've come on here to ask for help. What do you think?
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27-01-2021
02:55 PM
1 Kudo
Please don't hurt yourself @MB95 :( You're so important to us. This is a horrible moment but you will get through it because you're so strong and have done it before
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27-01-2021
02:47 PM
Thank you for telling us things are so bad right now. Can you keep talking to me so I know you're safe and I'll get in touch with the RO staff who can email you to keep you safe? We really care about you please don't hurt yourself. Talk to me I'm here @MB95
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26-01-2021
11:31 PM
@Saltwaterdreamtime:( that's really tough... Have you had any positive/supportive experiences with people talking about today?
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26-01-2021
11:28 PM
Ahh stop saying sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for @MB95! :( I'm sorry things have been so hard and I'm glad you're talking to your psych tomorrow. Feeling like there's no point in life is such a painful thought to deal with on your own :( I'm glad you're still here. We're gonna miss you too :( :( :( It really sucks that you can't stay. It doesn't mean we don't care about you, okay? And there are other places which want to support you and have people who care like we do, so just, don't feel like you have to do this alone. You matter so much and I know you've got so much to offer the world. How soon will you have to go (roughly), if that's okay to ask? (No pressure to respond, I know you said you were going to take a break now)
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26-01-2021
11:12 PM
1 Kudo
No don't be sorry at all @MB95, I just wanted you to know we really care about you That's okay, try to get some rest. I'm glad you liked the sloth lol
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26-01-2021
11:10 PM
@Saltwaterdreamtime I don't think some people are worth listening to or engaging with if they are being that hurtful and disrespectful while not even trying to listen themselves
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26-01-2021
11:05 PM
@Eden1717 I'm sorry things are so stressful at the moment, I can appreciate how having your fridge break and having to host a family member would add to that. Sorry nothing seems to be helping with the agitation and feeling overwhelmed. Yeah it's understandable to feel weird about today :(
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26-01-2021
10:56 PM
Ugh I'm so sorry @Saltwaterdreamtime :( People can be so toxic and hypocritical and cruel :(
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26-01-2021
10:48 PM
1 Kudo
@MB95 It's okay don't be sorry! I'm just happy you're safe
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26-01-2021
10:46 PM
@MB95 You're okay!! I was so worried about you, I thought the worst even though we have that agreement about NOT thinking the worst unless it's been 3-5 business days :( I'm so glad you're okay! I missed you too @Taylor-RO I didn't have an intense session but I feel like it's thrown me off for no reason because I'm feeling down again :( I think it's just trust issue stuff and getting frustrated with myself for not being happy. I like those ideas of trying to keep detached. I will try to think about how ridiculous some of the things that happen in the show are and that it's not real life @Eden1717 Do you like summer or winter better? I definitely miss the cold! Speaking of which, I bathed one of my cats today because he has black thick fur and I was worried he would overheat. I feel bad now because not only did I bathe a cat which you're not supposed to do but I put a few ice cubes in the water to help 'cool' him down :| WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ughh- If I was a cat I would not be happy. Anyway I dried him off and gave him some treats so he's okay but I need to find a better way to cool him down or better yet just leave the poor thing alone :( Haha aw thanks @MB95, that's really nice of you :) I love how you tried not to swear but then caved HAHA
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26-01-2021
02:32 PM
Yeah @Eden1717 :( I did get to sleep eventually lol and then slept in to midday It's so hot today I feel sad today and it's really frustrating because I saw my psych yesterday and I was doing much better and she seemed proud of me :( I'm trying to snap out of it ****TW (body image) I just feel really bad about my weight and like I feel useless just being at home doing nothing. I just feel pretty down and disgusted by myself :(*** Yeah I haven't finished it @Taylor-RO it's got like 7 seasons or something I feel it will always be difficult to watch. But it's not fair, I was watching another show and had to stop watching that because it was too unsettling. I feel too sensitive. Is there any way I could find a balance for watching it but not getting triggered?
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26-01-2021
01:48 AM
Thanks @Bre-RO I did talk to my psych and my counsellor about it Family can be super critical @Eden1717 :( you're definitely self aware! I'm going okay ish.. I can't sleep cause I was watching a show that's kind of scared me and triggered me at the same time. But I want to watch the show without being triggered. Because the story is good. TW idk it's bringing up so many themes, like relating to body image and intrusive thoughts and how I felt at school and I can just really feel for the characters a little too much in their hopelessness. And I know it's just a story but I can't sleep cause it's freaked me out a little and I'm scared of the dark now hahaha... I also just feel really down about my body and eating as well right now because of how unrealistic and triggering things are in this show. But I want to watch it!! God damnit
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25-01-2021
03:04 PM
Thanks @Bre-RO ahaha I knew I would inevitably forget I've had the exact same conversations on her before about something It would be cool if you could link the old chat but no pressure :) I looked at the article and liked the idea of counting to 100 (I'm going to lol if you've linked me the article before and I said the same thing..) Who, me? intelligent and self aware? I think you're getting me confused with someone else- @Eden1717 or @MB95 perhaps? :p
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24-01-2021
10:37 PM
@Eden1717 :( That's a lot of worries to be dealing with.. And there was me being optimistic by asking which which worry it was. Sigh. It's no wonder the eating stuff is so bad at the moment with all of that going on. Are there any foods that feel safe? Sorry you're still scared someone is following you and trying to hurt you :( How did you get through the other night when it was really bad (although it sounds like it's been pretty bad for a while now :() ? I recall you didn't get much sleep but did anything help with the fear? (TV, hiding, talking on here, etc.)?
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24-01-2021
10:24 PM
shhhh it's a tardis @Eden1717
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