Hey guys I'm so sad I missed this whole thing!  But really interesting to read everyone's comments and get some interesting insights! @Lost_Space_Explorer5 I totally relate to your feelings of not wanting to have feelings tbh... I have a friend who is very pro-emotion and said that she thought I should embrace my emotions more. Doesn't suit me at all- I prefer not to be feeling much at all, I just want a clear head. except for maybe music or food Super proud of you that you're trying out RO-DBT- I hope it works and feel free to test it out on us anytime! @Bre-RO Awesome that you have a puppy! My new puppy was sleeping in my lap which why it took me so long to reply after my uni tut finished at 9.   I think the thing that helped me the most was when my psych clarified emotions as being like thoughts.  He pointed out that honouring your emotions doesn't mean throwing yourself in the deep end and crying it out, often it just means to recognise they're there and keep going- like @GuestPsychologist said! Really helped me to just work on riding them out. ... View more

Omg guys- I opened up my phone to 90+ new email notifications from you all! Keen to read these while I'm supposed to be in my online tut  ... View more

Keen to be part of this! Even if I can't think of any questions just yet  ... View more

@Zeldasmile I've gotta say your meme got a laugh out of me  I also have a habit of putting the wrong date on important documents, like witnessing signatures for contracts to buy cars...  Putting this here because I love cats  ... View more

@November13 Thank you so much, you're making me feel very empowered! I do struggle with worrying about how long it's taking. I think realising that my work is actually quite fulfilling to me and making the decision to increase my volunteering to prepare for my masters is making me feel a bit more hopeful about the future and improving my self worth.   I think we're in the same boat, I would love to do something like research into intervention programs for mental illness which my university does! The only problem is I did my first research report this semester and I think it's the most stressful thing I've ever done  Although apparently the rest of my class agreed when I brought it up. I think even if it takes a while as long as you're happy with the process you take to get there it'll all be worth it! ... View more

@recharging_introvert I think active listening skills is something that my family really struggles with. There's been so many occasions where I've actually had to call them out for making things about them and not listening to me. I try and be an active listener back at the same time. Mutual respect I guess? It definitely is a process and I hope I get there some day! ... View more

Hi @BrixtonStation, to me that definitely sounds like something to be confused and concerned about, especially since you're finding it weird yourself! I have bipolar so my mood is all over the place, it can go from super elated to absolutely devastated in a very short time and is particularly sensitive to stresses in my environment. My psychiatrist has me do mood charts so she can map whether or not there are any patterns, or whether it's been too extreme and I should be concerned about it. It's the same for a friend of mine who has anxiety who needs to track what things stress her out in particular, and I've also seen ones used for depression. Maybe you could try to fill one out for a week or two before your appointment, and that might give you a bit more confidence to explain how you've been feeling to a professional? There is an app called eMoods on iPhone which you could try, otherwise Black Dog has a mood chart which I personally like. I hope that helps a bit! ... View more

Hey @C888r, I wanted to say that I don't think you're alone in this! I've thought about this a lot myself and the conclusion I've heard most people come up with is that your phone is a great source of dopamine, 'feel good' hormones, which is easy to access. I imagine it's a bit like reaching for a chocolate bar or ice cream when you're feeling sad because you know it will probably cheer you up a little bit. But because it's an endless source of entertainment it can be hard to put down- I know I used to procrastinate on tumblr a LOT and would sacrifice sleep or time for my other hobbies to scroll forever, and then regret not spending my time more productively. I actually heard a story of someone who deleted Facebook off their phone and replaced it with the taxi app, and whenever they were sad they'd randomly find themselves on the taxi booking screen and not realise why! So definitely not an uncommon thing to be facing.    I think the fact you're using it when you're stressing about assignments probably means you're just really stressed out in your general life that might be something you can look on finding other ways to solve that are away from your phone, like making time for crafts or other activities. What do you think about this? ... View more

Hi @WheresMySquishy I haven't been around to see some of these updates but it does sound like things are FINALLY going somewhere with your sister, and that's awesome if so! I don't know why the hospital didn't tell you about the FND psychologist, I suppose that would be too easy  I really hope that everything goes your way for these next few steps. It sounds exhausting having to do all of this research by yourself on her condition too. Is she able to understand her condition at all, or do you find yourself taking up that role for her, if that's okay to ask?   Also nice to hear that your grandma is getting better! I think that once she settles into a routine and finds out what she likes and doesn't like to do it will be easier. I think that the staff maybe having a booklet or sheet of words she might say and their translations could be helpful, if they put it in her room or client file maybe? Not sure. Let us know how things have been, I can see it's been a little while since you responded! Hope you're okay  ... View more

Hey @Hayles12, I'm so sorry to hear that you're in hospital but I'm relieved to know you're safe. Are you feeling better at all? What have you been up to? ... View more

Hey @SomeoneNADJS sorry for the late message but I'm so sorry to hear you've been going through some difficult times. I wanted to let you know that we all admire how strong you've been with everything happening with school and with your systems... no matter what happens you're deserving of help. If you're comfortable we would love to hear from you  ... View more

Hey @Hayles12 I'm really happy to hear that you've been able to stop listening to the bully! That's a really powerful first step  I also hope you're feeling okay after having a rough day. I know it's been a while but how are you feeling? ... View more

Hey @WheresMySquishy I'm sorry I disappeared for a couple weeks but I'm so happy to hear your updates! I have to be honest when I read that your grandma was trying to eat a sandwich with a spoon it made me laugh  It sounds really nice that you've found a rehab option which suits her so well! With the asking when she can go home thing, I found with my grandma that the best thing to do is to either just say 'not yet' or if they're really insistent they want to go now, to leave by saying that you're just sorting something out and then make your way out of there. It gets rid of the trauma of having to tell them no, you're not coming home with us this time, and they often forget that you were gone very quickly.    It's so interesting hearing that your sister is having more luck with some simpler methods, like having someone record their voice or to just give her lots of reinforcement so she remembers what she did right. I hope that you are able to hone on in the things and people who are trying to help, even though there's a lot of people who aren't    I was also wondering how you are going, it's nice to know you were able to get out of the house! Is there anyone in your life you've been able to talk to about these things? ... View more

Hey @Marina0012 thanks for your update! It sounds like you've been trying your best to process it and move on and that's really powerful. It also sounds like the people who are around you have been really supportive and caring of you. I agree with what has already been said that maybe it would be good if you could speak to a professional. It can sometimes be hard to get through to the crux of your feelings and start healing when you're still trying to digest everything that happened. Would this be something you'd be open to? I know some workplaces offer mental health services too, maybe you could investigate that at your work? ... View more

Today I practised self care by letting myself sleep in after staying up until 2am to finish an assignment so I could take the day off! ... View more

Hey @indieinsanus sorry for the late reply! I personally have been awful with my writing at the moment and have been sidelining it for now. I think that it really depends on the person. Some people say you need to write a minimum of 300 words a day to be productive. Other people I think take out massive chunks of time to do it, maybe a whole evening or day at once. Is there a writing schedule that you would have as a goal that you can work towards?   And don't feel bad about authors getting books done so fast! They do it for a living after all- it's their full time job  Many of us just don't have the time or experience to be that productive! ... View more

Hey @wolvesrunfree I'm sorry that you're still feeling this way  It sounds like it might be possible to talk to that friend you're still in contact with about what they think would happen if you did pass on a message and whether they're comfortable doing it. As with your anxiety, I'm sorry to hear that it's so bad. I know some people find that writing up up a list of reasons why their anxiety is wrong and also make plans for what they can do if the worst possible scenario comes true helps to ease some of it. Do you think there's anyone you could talk to about how anxious you're feeling? ... View more

@ayrc_1904 hey no worries I've been in the exact same boat! I had been doing super well with keeping on top of everything, then the assessments starting coming in and I started falling behind and then I had a depressive phase... not good! It sucks that your lecturer is being so difficult! They're probably thinking that everyone is in the same boat I nearly had that happen because one of my convenors told us last week wanted us to make a plan for a negotiation we have to do and I had a big assessment due today. But it turned out that she didn't want us to submit it today, just wanted us to be on track. So I'm ignoring that    I've heard good things about Gilmore Girls! At the moment my dad and I have been watching Studio Ghibli on Netflix. He's not used to Japanese cinema at all so it's really interesting how he's responding to a lot of the bittersweet endings!   You'll also be proud of me with my work. They tried to rope me into taking another lot of students and were asking me about every single day I might be free. And I was like nope, can't do that because I have a tut, nope I've got too much on my plate, nope I've got study to do that night... they got desperate and were like well if you know anyone who might want to tutor English can you let us know? So funny  having a pep talk team for my work has done wonders! ... View more

Hey @WheresMySquishy @recharging_introvert thank you so much for your suggestions! Yes it's very frustrating when you know the person cares but you just don't feel like you're getting through to them  I think asking them why they're saying certain things would definitely help! Also redirecting the conversation sounds like a good idea. Maybe saying something like 'I understand you've had similar experiences but I want to talk about my own feelings now' would work too. My dad loves to pull the 'its okay you've had a bad day, I've had a bad day too' and my eyes roll into my head because it's like... you were so keen to say something you just overshadowed me! But I know he does care. Sometimes you need to give people the benefit of the doubt and ask if they're really hearing you I think! ... View more

@November13 It's so true! I've been taking my uni slowly so that I can get good marks while also work and maintain my mental health and I've been beating myself up about it. But recently I found out that my university likely offers a combined Masters of Clinical Psychology as well as a Doctorate of Psychology! I honestly got so excited about it, the prospect of being able to focus on my study towards getting to be a practising psychologist but also qualifying myself so I can work at a uni research and even intervention programs is so enticing to me! It's also nice because I wouldn't have to specialise by doing a Masters of Research  funny how so many more opportunities come up when you take the time to think outside the box. ... View more

@WheresMySquishy oh that's funny but in a bittersweet way. I suppose it's one of those things where you have to laugh otherwise you'll cry.   Today I laughed because I have a cat who likes slapping people when they don't give her the exact type of attention she wants. So I stopped patting her and she slapped me as I walked off, and then I tried patting her again and she still slapped me  It's pretty funny and she absolutely never uses claws but gets the most indignant look on her face. Also today I sneezed really loudly and she left the room while meowing as if she was complaining to me! ... View more

This is such a cool thread!! @lokifish can I deduce it's something to do with your profile pic and something to do with your signature?? @November13 that's such an awesome name to choose, now I'll remember it forever! And @hellofriend that sounds like a lovely thing to say to friends! Also I never thought of Hello Kitty with your name. I just think of a happy teddy bear    My name comes from my internet pseudonym which I made up when I was 14 which is Stormy. Which was based on a character of mine called Storm who was obsessed with the ocean and wanted to run away and live in the ocean forever. 17 is my favourite number! Although I'm more proud of my icon's backstory which is this pic   ... View more

Omg, you know the ted talk is good when you think of someone to send it to within a minute of starting it! @November13 I love the idea of having many jobs and being able to do something new everyday. I think you'll really enjoy it!   @Hannah-RO that's so odd people thinking that your creative career was over because you're starting uni, I assume that isn't the case! I think that multitasking makes me feel more positive about all of my pursuits honestly  Good luck with your crochet, I found out last year that it's harder than it looks! @Lost_Space_Explorer5 you remind me of my friend, she loves to jump hobbies and her mum is constantly on her back hoping she settles on one thing! What kind of things are you interested in doing?   @Wolfie_ I love that you've been able to turn your hobby into a business! Maybe one day you could synthesise and become an art therapist    I'm definitely a multipotentialite! Specialising has never given me the same excitement as being able to study and learn about many things at once. I'm doing law and psychology with no interest in being a lawyer, and I don't even know if I want to be a clinical psych and have to specialise in one thing! I also do tutoring and coaching on the side but don't want to be a teacher I think the thing she said about adaptability is super true, I want a job where I can think on my feet more than anything else, plus I find that having many different areas of experience makes me much more confident than just being perfect at one thing. It's so nice to hear about the multipotentialite experience because my two degrees are very streamlined and I'm excited to do both at different times in my life!   I think my main interests are in refugee and indigenous law, dispute resolution and mediation,  relationship counselling, working in a high school as a counsellor or psychologist, and being a university tutor or lecturer. My current idea is that I'm going to start in the psychology and counselling area and move into law later since law scares me a lot more, but who knows, maybe I'll find some work in legal research or policy!   The main downside of this passion to learn I think will be being in debt from all the courses unfortunately! I also have resigned myself to the fact I'll be at uni or studying forever so I'm thinking of doing a PhD as a meme now, may as well  Another detriment is that I feel like all of my friends who are specialising are starting to chase their careers and I'm stuck in the casual work world still It's important to remember that how much you make and how prestigious your work position is isn't always a sign of how happy and fulfilled you feel with your life. ... View more

Hey @Willlowtree it doesn't sound like a whinge at all, honest! Often our brains tell us that our problems aren't worth worrying about but that's not true, in fact it's often a sign that you're not coping with things. Just because other people are having it hard doesn't mean things aren't having an impact on you too and we'll always be here to listen    I'm really sorry to hear about what happened with that girl. It sounds like it really caught you off-guard especially when you were feeling hopeful about everything. I can't tell you what was happening but sometimes people block other people when they start to have second thoughts and don't know how to just nicely tell the person. I only assume this is what happened since she flaked out a bit on other occasions? Either way it's not a very nice thing to do, and I'm guessing it probably has more to do with her thoughts than what you did. I know it's hard but don't feel like you should blame yourself.   It's awful with your roster changing- I know the feeling of all of a sudden getting stuck into a work schedule which sucks. Is there anything you could do on your day off that might help you recharge and keep you sane?   I also get the trip thing entirely. I was planning to go to America this year too! I want to say that delay is not denial- just because your dreams have been delayed doesn't mean they'll never happen. You've still got your savings and America isn't going anywhere! Maybe when you finally do get the chance to go over there you'll have more friends who want to come with you, or you'll find a great opportunity to go with a group of like-minded people who you haven't met before. It's really hard to stay optimistic when we don't know what the future is like, but this won't be forever. Is there anything that you can do to look forward to in the short-term, maybe like a project or buying something really nice with your extra work money? I hope things look up soon too! ... View more

Hey @wolvesrunfree I'm really sorry to hear this is happening to you. Having a mental health downfall often does involve starting all over again and it's awful. It also sounds terrible that your friend's parents aren't letting you speak to them and not even telling them why! And I know it's hard when things happen and you want to apologise but don't know how.   I'm wondering if your mum or the school could help you get in contact with them just once and could explain to the parents what you want to say. Do you think you'd be okay writing them a letter that they might not be able to reply to? Another thing you could do is draft up a letter you would want to send and figure out if you can send it later. It's not the same but at least it might help you to get your feelings straight in your own head. Maybe you could even keep it on you in case you did see them.   Is there anything you can do to help your anxiety with going outside? Maybe going to different shops or at certain times where you won't see anyone you know? ... View more

Hey guys, great thread, thank you for making this @WheresMySquishy!   I had a question from the other side of the pond... how do you deal with people who you go to for support and they respond in a patronising or unhelpful way? Like whenever I go to my partner to talk over something I'm really upset about he always goes 'awwwww' and I HATE IT. It makes me feel so invalidated I guess? To me that's something you'd say if someone just spilled their drink on the floor, I don't want to have that response when I'm upset about my parents fighting or my mental health has just gone down the drain! I've tried mentioning it once or twice but I find it still happens and I'm so upset in the moment that it just makes me madder- this is only a texting problem he's usually fine in person. I also wanted to know if you have any advice for when you come to friends about an issue and they turn it around to be about how they have the same problem and talk about theirs over yours without meaning to.   I don't have any advice as of yet because I would love answers to this! ... View more

@Hannah-RO @Janine-RO Thank you for this- I certainly learned some things especially about parent's perspectives! I have a seminar on Thursday nights for uni now so I'll probably miss parts of them  but hopefully I can tune in next time! ... View more

@Brian6787 Yep, a lot of building new friendships or relationships as everyone has said is creating consistent conversation! If she seems engaged with talking to you then that is an awesome sign that you guys might be able to chat once every few days or everyday  I also found that private messaging is the best way to create a stronger connection, especially since we live in a technological world where most people like messaging. I honestly found that sending memes about a topic you both mutually enjoy and just getting into the habit of asking about someone's day works wonders! It's also a good way to see if someone has a different texting style to you and whether this is something that you can deal with.    If you wanted to do things like zoom do you maybe have any mutual friends who would be interested in hosting something? ... View more

@missep Thanks for this post! I'm exactly the same- I'm not in it to make huge bucks, I just want to work somewhere where I always feel invigorated and can be social! Also a 4 day working week wouldn't hurt  @letitgo Good luck with the novel! Do you have anything you're working on at the moment? @Brian6787 Yeah definitely don't feel stressed if you don't do well at school! You learn a lot in teaching about how to deal with a classroom and to teach one subject really well, rather than having to learn many! Just choose a subject that you feel like you could enjoy for a long time! @Wolfie_ That's awesome, I hope you get there! Also very true about not knowing what you want to do. I didn't know until my 6th year into uni, this year, and I still don't know! But it's made me a lot happier knowing that there's a few things that would all be rewarding to me      My dream is to be an adolescent psychologist- at this point I want to work in a school! To me it would be rewarding because I would be able to help a lot of young people and be accessible. Hopefully school psychologists start becoming more common because most only have counsellors and I'm already knee deep in a psych degree! ... View more