Hey this sounds like a tricky situation. It's good that ur thinking about options and don't want to leave ur responsibility i think that's admirable. I guess in ur heart u know what u want and i've found that forcing people to go against their wishes has actually made them act out in other regards. For instance, if ur not really in love with someone u may not treat them the way that they deserve.    I think in a situation like this it comes down to priorities. As a new father, do u want to accept that responsibility and commit or do u want to be more of a supportive side character? either is fine as long as u are open and honest. worst things have happening in history and u don't have to feel trapped because that might make u resentful and that is a tricky emotion. if ur current partner has a really good supportive network and they don't mind taking on more responsiblity in caring for the child then that's great, maybe u can take a more supportive side lines approach, so u can still be there for the baby and mother of ur child but not in a romantic sense (and u can date ur first partner). but please, be honest with urself and be honest with communication. i feel like nothing is more damaging than lying and hiding.   like someone else mentioned. there is no right or wrong answer as long as u are honest and communicate to everyone!!! we are here for u ... View more

1. Are there any habits you have that you feel don't add positively to your wellbeing? Are there any ways to change these? I have a habit of checking in on my dissociation like almost all the time that I am not focused on an activity. it's getting compulsive and it's exhausting and makes me feel worse so I've been distracting myself more today and feel better (but I also feel like I'm neglecting my mental health by distraction which makes me feel guilty urgh)   Another bad habit would be to use too much tech without resting eyes. It gets to the point where i have a headache and am still mindlessly scrolling thru social media or youtube despite being extremely bored. It's just not productive and I know that getting up and doing chores or anything non-tech would make me feel better 2. Is there anything you want to incorporate into your routine? How might they be beneficial? What steps can you take to make this happen? I'd love to wake up earlier and sleep earlier because that way the day doesn't drag on in a negative note. I know that waking up at 8am is simply out of the question haha cos nothing is forcing me to but at least i don't sleep past 1am anymore!!! I think the fact that i set myself a curfew is pretty good, coupled with the fact that i force myself to go to bed earlier adn watch tiktok before actually falling asleep   I'd also love to exercise consistently (either day or evening, but never night) coupled with yoga 3. Do you have a random habit that isn't positive or negative, but you always do? e.g. some people always have the correct earphone in the right ear, or always bite the head off a chocolate frog first etc.   i'm always drinking water haha. its just built in my system and im so dependent on it by this point. i also have a habit of kissing my partner too much whenever i see him haha ... View more

Hey i'm so sorry to hear about what a terrible situation this is. urgh it saddens me to hear that people are like this and i'm glad u made the post and are thinking about it rather than trying to sweep it under the rug. i think that's incredibly smart of u.   not sure if i can be of a huge help but this is my personal take on it. ur safety is paramount and the first thing that matters is u. is there anyway that u can move out or at least tell a roommate that you trust about how uncomfortable/unsafe u feel with this guy around because then they can act as a second pair of eyes if u are unable to physically leave this situation. I hope u r able to talk to ur roommates/friends about this situation and hopefully if they are good friends, they will have ur back. because if i hear my good friend is threatened/feels unsafe with some guy i sure as hell am not inviting him back but i do understand everyone is different and has different histories with friends    i also totally get what u mean by a protective brother. i have a brother and we are each other's rocks. my bro (when he heard about my neighbour molesting me as a kid) straight up confronted the neighbour against my wishes. so i know its a tricky situation. however, if u really fear for ur safety, i have to admit, letting a family member know is best because u dont wanna risk getting hurt. i dont know about ur brothers temperament, but if u were to tell him it could be good to get him out of the house (maybe a cafe or something) and tell me in a public space and reason with him like "hey this is the situation please don't kill/hurt the guy because it doesn't help me" and basically explain what u want him to do and how u feel, because when he hears that he may calm down a bit   but basically what im getting at is ur safety is the number one priority. please let ur roommates know so that they can look out for u or maybe just stop inviting the guy over (like u guys can hang out at a neutral place like a pub and then afterwards, u and ur roommates make it back home without him) and if worse comes to worse, i think letting ur brother know could be a safe thing. imagine if something dangerous was happening to ur bro, u would want to know right? anyways, i'm here for u and the whole community is here for u ... View more

this is an amazing post. i'm still relatively new and it warms my heart when people post about their positive experiences  makes me even more excited to continue on RO   good luck with everything!!! it sounds like ur rocking it ... View more

Elephant ... View more

Confidence Tastes like: A spicy chicken wing Smells like: A creamy milkshake Looks like: Sunshine Feels like: A warm bath Sounds like: Laughter   Fear ... View more

I love prawns!!!   Never have I ever pooped my pants in public hehe ... View more

Right now I'm feeling dissociated but that's ok. Just learning to live with it. Besides that, I feel quite content with browsing the internet and listening to music :) ... View more

Taking day trips sounds like so much fuuun. I've only been on one and it was very spontaneous and it was the best time   Alright so it's 10pm right now and I thought I'd do one: Today was good. I've been feeling a bit better because I've been less focused on my dissociation and I've been doing more things despite not working or studying in covid :o Had volunteering today which was good and felt good afterwards because of social interaction :)) then watched a doco called three identical strangers which is both exciting and such a tragedy omg   I think something i'm proud of is exercise. I've been doing it consecutively for the third day now and I feel good about it. Thanks endorphins :) also did a quick sketch with pastels and they look cute. I'd love to decorate my living space with more arts and crafts ... View more

that's fascinating!!!!!! i find that really funny actually haha ... View more

really?? that's crazy that other animals dont get sunburn! i wonder why that's the case ... View more

Hey! I'm interested and I applied last week. I was just wondering when abouts I'd hear back or if applications have closed long before? Thanks :) ... View more

Hey sorry for the late response just found this thread. Hannah offered a great link.   I just wanted to add that I think I relate to your feelings of unrealness/dream-like state as well as you operating at a different pace to others. i have experiences with both and it took me a while to even realise that these are valid experiences and quite common!!   In my own experiences (it's taken me a whole year to even realise the causes, symptoms etc.) but the feelings that you may be in a dream could potentially be dissociation. There are a variety of reasons people dissociate and thats why seeing a professional like a psychologist can be extremely helpful in identifying why you dissociate and it may be linked to previous trauma, stress or anxiety etc. (or not)   For me, i have repeated low level traumas in life (at various points in my life) and in general, i am pretty anxious and don't do well with stress. i began to derealise (which is a type of dissociation) where i feel disconnected from my body and its like theres this fog separating me and the rest of everyone and i am in this dream-like state. this is a valid experience and it's quite common. in fact some argue that a form of dissociation is the third most common disorder after anxiety and depression   I noticed that when you talk about your experiences, that ur worried that they may seem odd. i want you to know that any experience u feel is validated (coming from someone who once thought she was crazy, i can now appreciate everyone has different reactions to things). u are not alone   also not sure if this will help u but when i had feelings of operating at a different pace to everyone, i would actually feel dizzy. i found that drinking lots of water helped me a lot and getting enough sleep. because when i didnt have at least that i would be more prone to these things. let me know what u think and if u wanna talk more!! ... View more

amazing thank u!! ... View more

Hey! I think I saw you post on an old thread to do with dissociation :) btw i love ur name and avatar. it always makes me happy hehe   Thanks for the tips on apps. Will be looking into that! i think you've posted a bit about your sister on one of my other threads and it sounds like she's incredibly strong from all the challenges she has in life (and you too for supporting her). i don't know why but that warms my heart immensely ... View more

hey! ur right about that cos i do many different types of meditation like whatever i feel like in the moment :)   i like guided meditation (10 mins or so on youtube), headspace ones, yoga or just mindful/controlled breathing (breath in for 4, hold for 2, breath out for 4 etc.)   also recently i tried transcendental meditation (where u repeat a mantra or listen to a sound) and it's quite nice. all of it is so effective for emotion regulation it's absolutely insane - this should be taught in schools more!!!!   btw do u have any channels, apps or types of meditation to share with me? (always on the lookout) ... View more

absolutely beautiful. thank you for sharing all this <3   i've actually heard of the anxiety ninja! he's so likeable and yeah he was the first person i saw on youtube when i began freaking out. maybe i should revisit his channel for some more education (cos i used to avoid anything to do with dr/dp on the internet)   once again, i really appreciate all this. ur incredibly generous with ur time!!! ... View more

thank youuuu! ... View more

thank you!!! the response wasn't long at all :) i appreciate everything that you've said and i've carried it into my heart. i find this really useful!   I was also wondering how to generally reduce anxiety during the day? I've found that over the past year I've finally calmed down from panicking and i can realise my derealisation with a more calm feeling but i am still aware that physiologically my heart rate is rapid and i feel uneasy in my chest despite feeling mentally calm?   Would you be able to suggest anything to help with the general anxiety? I've been doing meditation and find it useful :) ... View more

Hey, sorry to hear all this. Although I haven't been groomed, i was molested at a young age by someone i trusted so I know how confusing all this is. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone with that. it's (unfortunately) quite common.   About your friend, I don't want to make assumptions because i don't know your friend like you do but based on what you were saying, the person doesn't seem like a friend, at least not to me. I feel like we may surround ourselves with people we think we deserve or perhaps, people that have once been good to us but may have their off days. But in this case, you were clearly uncomfortable about the situation, not only that, but the person was belittling your feelings. I don't think good friends do that.   A famous psychologist/professor worded it this way (and it forever clicked in my mind): a friend is two things. 1) they will celebrate you when things are good and 2) they will be there when things are bad. Only those two things. I feel like the second one applies to your experiences, because when you felt uncomfortable, that friend should've supported your feelings and stopped.   These are just my thoughts. I know it's a lot and often times friendships get confusing. I hope you can surround yourself with friends who value your feelings and respect your wishes. You deserve that.  ... View more

Hey! I just wanted to let you know that all your feelings and concerns are valid and you are not being a sook. If you have these thoughts then that means there's a reason for them and we should trust our bodies!! Also i feel like you're not alone with these worries too   I remember that book from back when I was in primary school/high school so it's cool that people are still reading that! I also relate to you when you opened up about your anxiety to your parents and them not understanding it/getting defensive, my mum also did this numerous times (but not out of a malice). I can't say for sure if these count as abuse, but it definitely doesn't sit right with me.   I think it's important to surround yourself with at least 1 person you can be truly honest with and feel safe to ask any questions. This is everyone's right in life. So maybe if you have a close friend or a school counsellor or your favourite teacher, these questions may go well with them and they can help!!! Sometimes family are not the people you are born with (as you can't control this) but the people you choose to invest in and spend your time with! It might be worthwhile to make some close friends and talk about these issues because if it's on your mind, I guarantee it's on other people's minds as well!!!   Feel free to use this forum to voice any concerns/advice seeking because the community is totally supportive and knowledgeable <3 ... View more

Great thread! I like to try something new or at least work on a skill that I've neglected, such as drawing!   I attended a drawing course during my undergrad and absolutely loved it so i ordered some cheap charcoal pastels and am smashing them through :)   Also exercise and meditation are saving graces! Also, interestingly I've been exploring the idea of faith and spirituality as the idea of a higher being does comfort me in these tough times!! ... View more

green bean soup hehe  ... View more

Hey! I'm still exploring (as i used to be really into writing thrillers and horrors hehe) but right now i'm into slow paced dramas that usually focus on true crime or family :)    I find that with time and watching more niche films that I realise how young the art of cinema is. Like it hasn't been around for long and there calls for more experimentation!  ... View more

Amazing book recommendation. Just googled it and the summary sounds interesting so I've added it to my list!   Is it ok if i ask more about your journey with ur art business? I've recently gotten into drawing with charcoal etc. and i was wondering how realistic it would be to make a profit on charcoal drawings online such as etsy? Also, what type of art do you do and how did you grow that passion?   Thanks!! ... View more

Hello and thank you so much for this heartfelt reply!! i can't thank you enough. I would love to read your original thread as i'm sure it would have some handy insight and replies?!   It comforts me a great deal to know that you've mostly gotten in control over your experiences as I'm currently in the middle of this sandstorm and like you mentioned, I have all the symptoms and it's honestly hell at times.   I came across this handy article a few days ago and it feels like it applies to me as I've addressed some trauma with my psych and the DP/DR hasn't gone away. Basically the article said that this form of dissociation is like a triggering cycle, where you feel the temporary dissociation but because you freak out and have catastrophic thoughts like "it'll never end", it increases ur stress response and "justifies" the dissociation experience, hence extending it. So, I feel like I'm in the constant triggering cycle.   These days I am still working with a psychologist, and when I realise I'm dissociating I don't panic. I simply acknowledge it and move on. I think you may be the first person I have talked to who actually has/had the condition and it please me a lot! So thank you!!!!   May I ask a question? When was the moment that you realised the dissociation lifted? ... View more

I guess I'll answer these questions too!   1. When was the last time you did something for the first time? My new charcoal pastels arrived today so I drew my backyard!! I love them 2. What's your favourite snack? Too many to choose from but either asian snacks, sweets (there's this place called Lune that does unreal double baked croissants omg) or bubble tea haha 3. Do you think with your head or your heart? Usually a mix because i feel like the heart tells you what you want instinctively but the head is always the final decider for me! 4. Name a historical figure you'd love to meet if they were magically alive again. 100% steig larsson. he wrote my favourite book trilogy EVER <3 5. Would you rather be able to talk to animals or speak all human languages? TALK TO ANIMALS! R U KIDDING ME OMG! just imagine how much fun would be had.   Alright, here are the next 5 questions! 1. What country would you like to visit right now? 2. If you were stuck on an island, what are the 3 things you would bring? 3. Which youtube channel is your favourite? 4. What is your true passion(s) in life? 5. Do you believe in ghosts? ... View more