Hey I just wanted to check in with you since it's been a few weeks since your post. I'm really sorry to hear that. It sounds like a tricky situation to be in, to see someone you once viewed as a father figure who is supposed to be loving and safe, to then be revealed to be doing such things. I hope that you don't take things too harshly on yourself as none of this is your fault.    Is there anyone (maybe a friend or teacher or somebody in your community) that you can talk to about this? It may be helpful for you to talk things out with someone and get things off your chest and to maybe process some emotions? As someone who has a father who has sexually assaulted someone in the family, I can relate to the conflicting and hard feelings you may have. It's tricky and it's a position that no child or person should ever be put in. Please take care of yourself, you deserve that. ... View more

heyo and welcome! i've only been on this forum for a few months and i joined because i was looking to help some people from my own experiences. can definitely relate to feeling the blues for an extended period of time and even to this day it catches me off guard sometimes. but we're all here together :) ... View more

Hey thanks for sharing everything! I really related to what you said here " Keep in mind that I am a very closed up person who never stands up for myself or really anything because I get very anxious about being judged - something I think came about from M being so judgmental towards me and other people."   I am like this as well :( I feel very sensitive to what others will think of me and will go out of my way to be agreeable even if that means taking a hit (metaphorically) and this is because my family/culture can be quite judgmental (into gossip/reputation) urgh it's really tiring.   Anyways, I think you have gut feelings for a reason. If you find yourself drifting from this friend and if this friend doesn't make you feel safe or comfortable then the bottom line is they're not the right friend for this moment in time. Sometimes that friend might be dealing with their own insecurities and they will put it on other people. But it's not ok when you feel like your needs aren't being met. I think a good friend will listen non judgementally, make your feelings heard and support you to live a better life. I don't really think she's at a stage where she's doing this for you and if that's the case, I think you may benefit (mental health wise) from making other friends, at least in the meanwhile. Having some distance can bring new perspective and remember to look out for your own mental health!   We should look forward to seeing friends! That's the bottom line. It's ok if you need more privacy or you time and if she's a good friend she will ALWAYS respect that.  ... View more

Hey i completely understand where you're coming from. You remind me of myself about 2 years ago. I grew up with my brother and he was like my pseudo parent and best friend and like the only close friend i had. Then out of the blue he said he enrolled in the army and would be gone in weeks... it shattered my world. I have obsessive thoughts, felt uncomfortable/anxiety and at one point I dissociated because the thought of losing him overwhelmed me so much that I couldn't see anything else.   But after 1 month, then 1 year, then 2 years (now) I realise how much better I am, how much stronger. What you're going through is normal given your upbringing I'm assuming. You're close to your family which is a great thing and something people would love to have. It's important to have other social circles to fall back on (this is a core part of what builds the "self") such as friends that you can talk to and sometimes these friendships take time to build.    I hope you're doing ok now. Just remember it always gets better and if your feelings are getting too overwhelming, try meditation or try reaching out to a friend or even those phone lines. These are the options I wish somebody had told me because at the time. It's important to sit with the feelings, accept them and then reach out to someone and talk these feelings out. If you bottle them it won't be good. We're here for you if you wanna talk further! ... View more

Great thread!   What is an aspect of your life you want to reflect on? How my past upbringing/trauma with family has influence my overthinking and anxious nature now. Sometimes I get anxious or I beat myself up over something little or I get concerned over how people may negatively think of my because of a decision I've made but then I have to remind myself that my judgements against myself may be stemmed from how I was brought up in my childhood Share something that helps you reflect!  Talking to my partner or a friend helps me see other perspectives otherwise it gets really intense in my own head and I feel really uncomfortable. Otherwise, journalling and self soothing talk/meditation  ... View more

Hey! I can relate strongly to how you're feeling here. I felt pretty alone and confused a year ago when something happened in my life and I found myself without any close friends or anyone to confide in and it was all too much for my brain.   It was a gradual process, but if it's an immediate connection you're looking for I know that Friends for good has a phone line you can call for a chat for general advice or just conversation.  In the long term, I think friends are hard to make but through consistency they will blossom. So maybe try finding activities that allow a long-term commitment, where you'll see them somehwat regularly. E.g. team sports, enrolling in a course or volunteering ... View more

Big big big LOVE to this thread. I tend to overthink and it just goes wild from there. Saw some people's responses and mine are so similar haha   1. Drink TONS of water throughout the day. If i don't i tend to be dizzy/have headaches and i'm more vulnerable to feeling stressed 2. Getting enough sleep/sleeping earlier 3. Reading a book to slow the pacing 4. Yoga and meditate (works wonders) 5. Talk to my partner :3 6. Walk/play with my dogs <3 ... View more

I love this!!!! I'm the same as you, i need to get back on the working out bandwagon.   Ideally, I'd like to do a walk at least once a day and a workout video maybe every second day?   Also, I'd love to work on my diet. Making sure I have balanced meals  ... View more

Hey! Sorry for the late post. I came across a book by Emily Nagoski called Come as you are. It does a great job explaining how there are accelerators and brakes in arousal etc. and everybody has a different degree of accelerators and brakes.   I think what you're going through is normal and may be more common than you think. I definitely feel like that at times. Just to summarise from the book, some people are more sensitive to things that inhibit arousal e.g. stress, being busy in general or just the wrong mood (this counts as the brakes to your sexual desires). Thus, if you work out what can help you relax, it'll act as an accelerator and give it time. Your body may be a little more sensitive :) which is completely fine     ... View more

Hey! It sounds like a tough situation and I get how important friends are and it sucks that your friends have left you at a time when you really need them.    I have a close friend who struggles with similar issues. We actually met because we were both in a state where we really needed new, consistent and loyal friends.    (sending huge huge huge virtual hugs your way). Sounds like life is getting a bit tiring. (also sending virtual chocolates, sodas and burritos) haha idk if you look those foods but you get the point. Please treat yourself with some good food, sunshine and funny videos.   From personal experience, what helps me is volunteering. So I might sign myself up for some low effort volunteering at school or in the community, which gets me meeting new people and feeling good about myself. Hope you're feeling better <3 ... View more

Hey just following up. I noticed you posted this a few days ago. How are you feeling now?    I just wanted to add that I feel for you. It must be exhausting to be in your situation. I also know someone who has personally been in a similar situation (with 2 kids and her husband doesn't work either, while she works and looks after the kids).   Everyone's relationship is different and I'm sure you and him have a history. But, I just wanted to say that I hope you can prioritise your needs and especially your child's needs. Alcoholism is a bloody hard thing to get rid of and I hope you have a space that is safe that you can go to for the sake of you and your child.   I hope you and your partner can work things out and reach a point where there is an equality in the relationship. This may mean referring him to see a psychologist to work through his alcoholism?    Also, something I learned myself the other day that may help you is that I learned what respect really means for the first time last week. I work with a psychologist and he basically said that respect is having your voice heard and acknowledged and valued. So, if you believe that his alcoholism is impacting your wellbeing and you let him know. I hope he can respect that and change his ways for you.   Anyways, everyone on this forum is here to support you. I hope you find the time to respond just so we know you're doing alright! ... View more

This is soooo cute. Also, this explains why I always see my cat sleeping no matter what time it is haha. We built a sun area outside my house and she absolutely loves sunbathing/sleeping all the time ... View more

Hey I totally get how you feel. There was a time where I didn't have many (if any) close friends that I could confide in and that was a difficult time. Friendships are important but they also take time to develop.   A recent friend I made has a similar circumstance as you described. She has an autoimmune condition and for years she was hospitalised and in pain, to the point where she stopped going to school. But she's also one of the most sociable, funny, lovely human beings I've encountered and she constantly puts herself out there and over time she was able to make friends!!   I think the fact that you're wondering about it is such a good first step. There are many ways to make friends as well, such as hobby groups, online events, enrolling in a course, meetups or online volunteering :) it's a length but worthwhile process. I believe in you! ... View more

Hey I noticed you posted this a while ago. I hope you're doing ok! There are so many people on this forum that care about you. And yes, you deserve to be happy. I hope that you feel safe enough on this platform to talk about things if you want to. ... View more

This is such a good question. I often see the negativity that's associated with covid-19 but I truly believe it brought a lot of reflection.   I learned the importance of putting the brakes on and assessing what I actually want/enjoy in life. I've learned that I don't have to constantly be productive and that it's okay to lounge around and chat or be alone. ... View more

Hey! to be honest it sounds to me like you're in the beginning stages of being lovey dovey. I felt the same way with my boyfriend it was really intense and fast and now we're a lot more settled and after a year now we're like an old couple who are comfortable with each other.   but in the early stages, he was constantly on my mind and i did centre a lot of my time around him so i totally get that and i think it's normal :) i think your corncerned thoughts will relax over time and as you have more experience with that person.   in terms of you feeling a bit of fear with leaving for a few months. i feel like going at a steady pace is always a good idea. if it's meant to be it will be and you may be like me where i feel stressed over things i can't control and worry about that to no end. so, keep things friendly, obviously if it's clear you guys are both into each other, you can keep flirting, keep each other filled in with each other's lives like text, send pics of what ur doing, video chat etc. and before you know it you're together again :)   and like you, i used to be wayyy too dependent on one person and when it ended it was crazy bad for my mental health. so i think a healthy rule of thumb is to try and keep as many things going for you like hobbies and friends wise ... View more

Love this idea. I lovveeee dinner and breakfast is usually the same thing every day which is boring haha   I had oven roasted chicken and broccoli and zucchini. I LOVE broccoli omg. i also tried to make my own garlic bread but it was kinda a fail but still yum ... View more

Usually following a painful event or a breakup, i like to do a bit of a glow up. not sure if anyone else is like this, but i'll have a period of mourning where i will cry my eyes out, watch shows and be a potato. then i switch into full glam up/revenge body mode where i start working out, buying cute clothes and looking my best cos it makes me feel better than being a potat :3 ... View more

omg i'm in melbourne as well. these lockdowns have made me go through an emotional rollercoaster. initially i was ok with it cos i was like yay no more commuting and then cabin fever hit me in full force and i began getting anxious, missing people, going crazy etc. i find what helps is to schedule a video call with a friend every couple days cos i notice seeing/talking to people 1v1 motivates me weirdly enough   also sunshine. lots of sunshine. lots of walking and looking at dogs in the streets.  ... View more

1. Had a nice session with my psychologist today and worked through a painful memory 2. Made a juice and it's so yummy 3. Watched an among us gameplay with AOC in it and it's pretty cute ... View more

Hey it breaks my heart to read this and I'm so glad you posted on this forum. This place is nothing but supportive and I hope you can find a sense of safety on here.   I know it can be tough to know if family is toxic because they are the only people you spend so much time with. Feelings about family can get complicated and I get that. It pains me to hear what you've been through, especially being a child who should be the one cared for and on top of that you didn't have the support you deserved either through extended family or counselling. You are such a tough cookie for going through all this and I admire your strength.    I can definitely relate to the blurred lines of family because i was so close to my brother (him being a guardian, pseudo-father, brother and best friend) and it was crazy. During those years with him I didn't even realise how much of an impact he had on my thinking etc. so I get how easy lines blur. I also relate to having to step up to care for family. My mum's health is bad and her language barrier means I do a lot of the admin things for my family even at a young age. On top of that my father was emotionally/verbally abusive and most days were chaotic.   I think it's easy for outsiders like me to say whatever we think is the case but the reality is we are not you and you know yourself best. I think a good rule of thumb is if you feel a certain way e.g. tired, stressed, anxious, angry etc. it's all justified and it comes from a place that's valid. It sounds like your mum hasn't been all that healthy in supporting you and your own space and need for growth. Your current situation of homelessness saddens me but I'm glad you are going to get Jobseeker payment. I hope you find your own space and with that time will help you to grow.   You deserve so much more. If you ever need free counselling sessions, I know headspace offers them but you'll have to see them in person and then see their GP for 10 referral sessions i believe. The wait time is generally months but it's still free. I wish you the best and I'm here to support you on this forum ... View more

omg i remember watching vampire academy the movie as a kid haha this was years ago and i actually rlly liked the movie altho i was so young   i agree i love reading/watching "trash" stuff because so much of my life is high on productivity and inTelLecTual reads haha ... View more

Grasp ... View more

I totally do this as well.   I also like to use a budgeting app. They work like wonder because you can log them instantly and it churns out a graph and so visually i know how much money i'm using. i've noticed i've cut down progressively over the months :) ... View more

this is the best thing i've read today. i love all these facts, especially that sharks are older than trees???? what???? that's so cute   another fact: honey bee populations are declining despite them being one of the most IMPORTANT things in our world. without honey bees, our agriculture/many vegetation groups will be gone :(( please save the honey bees   ... View more

Came back to this thread :)   I landed a tutoring gig so it feels nice to save up some money and get work experience. I'm pretty anxious though because this is my first tutoring gig and idk what to really do but I trust myself :)) ... View more

Hey this reminds me of my first love. I was in senior high school and dated this guy for about the same time. We were even talking about moving in after graduating and moving overseas but I left for holiday and when I came back our feelings had faded. So i get how you feel and it took mea . few months to get over him so you can definitely do this! I'm here for you   Right now I am feeling... tired. Grocery shopping is exhaustinggg and the day has passed so quickly. I would like to write more on my script, so excited for that ... View more

Aw this gif is so cute :)   Haven't posted in a while. Lots of new things are happening ahhh I've got potentially two tutoring jobs lined up for the first time which is nerve wrecking and then I am starting a new vce volunteering position as well soon :o   But today has been alright. I feel a little spacey but I think it's cos of lack of sleep. I'm excited to try a parfait recipe and eat healthier sugar alternatives hehe. Been pretty active today in terms of doing stuff but I want more time to write my script but also kinda putting it off  ... View more