I totally get that as well. Like you said, perhaps an open discussion will put everything out into the open and it might seem clearer how to move forward. But I totally get the difficulty of the situation! ... View more

Hey Indieboy14   Sounds like a lot to think about! I can see this is not an easy situation for you.   Based on your post, it sounds like you do really like them. So, do you actually want to not think about them? Is discussing that you want to continue the relationship later on a possibility? Then you have something to look forward to when you return?   What do you feel would help you feel settled with the situation? ... View more

Hey Liliann I have just jumped on and your right - not running at the moment! I thought I would pop through another link to Eheadspace. This website is a little more tailored to mental health services but it does have some great online options if you're looking for a chat! https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/ I'm glad Meetup appeals to you in the future! Group walks in the park and things like that are fantastic! ... View more

Hey Mabawlswashawt This sounds so tough! Working through mental health struggles is hard enough alone, but it becomes even more challenging when you need to consider someone else as well! I'm sorry you are experiencing this and thanks for jumping online and opening up about everything. I would like to offer some of my experience if that is of help to you. I have anxiety and have always felt torn between wanting to tell my partner everything and not wanting to burden her. As a result, what would often happen is I would bottle it up inside until I 'dumped it' all on her in a very brash way, which only made things worse. After this would happen, I would feel guilty for approaching it in such a way. My partner and I saw a relationship therapist, and our communication style did a very positive 180! Now, we rarely have issues. Here is what worked for me! It is SO IMPORTANT I share how I am feeling with my partner. But I needed to learn the right way. Now, I see it as my responsibility to recognise when I am in a state of anxiety and understand that it is not my partner's job to solve that for me. It's my anxiety. However, I want her support, so I like to approach her when she is not absorbed in work and calmly discuss my feelings. I don't put any pressure on her or explain what she could do, etc. I just kind of outline of how I am feeling in a very honest way. What I have noticed is when I approach her like this, she is really receptive, compassionate, and I feel adored and supported now. She simply couldn't take it when I dumped everything on her like a ton of bricks. I don't know what the dynamic in your relationship is like, but let me know if this sounds like it might work for you? Essentially, opening up and talking about my feelings in a compassionate, mature way really helped me discuss my mental health with my partner! ... View more

Hey Lillann Sorry to hear about your job difficulties. Others have given some good advice so I thought I would touch base regarding your mentioning of loneliness? I'm really sorry you are feeling alone right now. When the world gets back up and running meetup.com has worked really well for me in the past when I felt I needed to meet some supportive people. Meetup has a lot of 'warm' social spaces where you can meet with similar, like-minded people. You can choose a hobby interest, like board games, or films and meet with others who have similar interests. Everyone is there to be friendly and it could be something nice to look forward to for you. Does this sound appealing to you? Another thing that might help is the website Samaritans. You can jump online and have a live chat with a volunteer anytime. You can check them out here: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/chat-online/ Do any of these ideas sound useful for you? What do you think might work for you? ... View more

Hey Guitarman97 What a great post! I think you have made some really great points about self- compassion and good on you for engaging with your Universities mental wellbeing plan! I think self-compassion is super interesting and beneficial. I have been trying to be more mindful the last year or so and I notice that my default is to slip into a critical state, but when I notice and start allowing myself some time off study, extra rest, positive self-talk, etc, this huge weight lifts off and I remember what its like to be compassionate to myself - and the habit grows just that little bit stronger! I think you bring up another awesome point about the paradox of self-compassion, which is that I have noticed by soothing my negative, inner critic, that is always yelling "BE BETTER", I often find I work and achieve the things that are important to me with more ease and enjoyment, and, more efficiently. Kind of amazing!!! ... View more

Hey C888r   Uni assignments are stressful and I totally get why you would end up using your phone sometimes - though it sounds like this might be becoming a bit frustrating for you!   As celestialdreamer said, I don't know if it would be an addiction, though I am not qualified to tell. However, It sounds like you would like to focus more time on assignments and maybe spend a few hours less on your phone anyways. Would you feel comfortable brainstorming some ways you might like to get started?   What do you think would work for you that you have not tried? I know there are some apps that actually block access to certain apps after a certain amount of time? Would you be open to trying something like this? If you are genuinely worried about it as a type of habit, you could also catch up with a GP for a discussion? Is this something you would be open to?    How are you feeling about everything today? ... View more

Sounds good :) Talking to a doc is a great way to start up the conversation. Happy your feeling OK today! :) ... View more

Hey Scared01   I just read through your posts. That all sounds so hard. Having to be aware of all your different diet requirements as a result of your illnesses/ dealing with flareups - hell, not even been able to keep water down at times sounds really hard. Then, throw all the logistical stress of setting up appointments with doctors on top of that!   Whilst I can't relate personally to your physical symptoms, my partner has Crohn's disease and experiences very painful flare-ups when she eats the 'wrong thing' - sometimes she does not even know what has caused a flare-up. I see the toll this can take on her, so I really hear what you are saying. I'm really sorry you have to deal with it.    I think it's powerful of you to volunteer as a builder, talking about your own issues online.   What do you do for self-care when your body is feeling like this? What usually works for you?  ... View more

Hey Nate1994   I'm sorry you are experiencing this.   I wanted to talk a little about my personal experience in case it is of help to you. I used to feel I watched too much porn - after trying Nofap for a bit and reading allot online about porn addiction, I was convinced I had a problem.   Turns out, though, I did not. The internet has a lot of heavy advice, mostly that watching allot of porn means you have an addiction and are destroying your dopamine and harming your motivation, etc. However, a lot of this advice is actually anecdotal, and porn use functioning as an addiction is not very accepted in the scientific community.   Through working with my doctor and psychologist, and by doing some research for a project at school, I have come to learn there is very little evidence porn is addictive. For me, the problem was actually shame and anxiety. A fear that I was addicted, and so I had convinced myself I was. I have now spoken to a lot of men who have had a similar experience.   Since this new realisation, I sometimes watch porn, sometimes don't. I barely even think about it. If I do watch a fair amount one night, I don't stress. As I know, generally, it's not a problem for me.    I do think, as others have suggested, talking to a doctor might help though - as it did for me. Is this something you would be open to? How are you feeling today about everything? ... View more

I really agree with wanderingwasp on this one!   I think nowadays we feel pressure to be super productive all the time, which sometimes results in practices that are actually less productive. For instance, studying non-stop for hours on end, in which you lose concentration and end up hating life. For me, very short breaks (5 mins) every 25 minutes keep my brain feeling fresh.    Here is a link to the specific technique: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFW3Ld7JO0w ... View more

Hey Love_elmo77 I totally get where you are coming from - mental health can feel like a taboo thing to talk about, especially with those who might be closed off to the discussion. So, I wanted to 'spruce things up'. For me, as an aspiring young psychologist and mental health advocate, there is nothing more BADASS then taking ownership of your mental health. In my opinion, whilst some mental health conditions are definitely more distressing than others, we all have issues in some way. Our minds are sponges and soak up all kinds of ideas throughout life, which can form troubling perceptions of who we are. I personally struggle to believe anyone gets out of this process without some baggage. So, for me, those who engage in talking about their mental health, with a therapist or a friend - or on Reach Out, are in many ways engaging in the most enriching life possible. Understanding mental health is a real thing that impacts us all and working to find out who we really are and why we may have the conditions we do (anxiety, depression, etc) allows for a much richer, engaged life than a one where someone may deny mental health is a problem. If you feel like you would like to open up to someone about anything mental health-related, I would trust your instinct. :) ... View more

Hi Princess04 Your story really moved me. It was disturbing and confronting, yet the way the princess moves into the new world with a mindset of strength and independence - capable of defending herself and proud of her defiance and those who supported her, is truly amazing. Honestly. I think it's fantastic you have talked through this experience with medical professionals and are continuing to work through things is great. Your strength truly is unbelievable. ... View more

Hey DisneyFan22 That sounds so rough - allot to deal with. I can imagine having to work through that kind of energy every day would feel really heavy. Similar to Maddy & Featuringme - having an objective, compassionate voice to work through what you're experiencing might be beneficial. Are you open to things like this? For me, discussing the relationships in my life with my therapist offers me allot of clarity. I have worked through some really icky things with family through therapy personally, and feel allot better for it. How are you feeling today? ... View more

This is so important chillspace! I think all your self-care activities sound really good. The organisation is so helpful for proving stability in mental health (for me anyway!) I also find making time for shows/ games in amongst the exercise gives me a good balance! ... View more

Hey Alla273 This sounds like a really distressing experience. I can imagine this would have been a really tough few days for you. I'm so sorry this has complicated some of your relationships and lliving arrangements. If it is any help, friends of mine who have experienced abuse have benefited from talking to trusted friends and family about the experience and how it impacted them, as a way of reaching out and securing a support network. Do you think something like this might help you? In relation to your mentioning of feeling shame, I have struggled a bit with shame. For me, trying to offer myself self-acceptence, maybe a reminder I am not perfect but that's OK, has always really helped me when I am feeling critical of some of my behaviours. How are you feeling today? ... View more

Hey JamiJam What you are describing sounds really distressing. I am really sorry you are experiencing this. I thought I might offer some of my own experience if that is any help for you. I have experienced a lot of relationship anxiety. I was very conscious of my partner's cues and was often triggered into anxious thought spirals where I would need to 'fix' things whenever I felt she was annoyed with me. Eventually, I voiced this was impacting me, and we saw a relationship therapist. I learned a lot about my attachment style and that I often felt anxious because of previous experiences (similar to what you are describing) and needed to 'fix' or repair things, so I felt safe, or secure, within the relationship. By discussing how we were both feeling with the therapist (she had vulnerabilities as well), we were able to understand how and why we respond the way we do. Now, my partner has a better understanding of my need to feel safe, which helps with my anxiety about 'fixing' things. Like Sophia-RO suggested, would you feel comfortable/ open talking with your partner? Or anyone else but these issues? What do you think might work for you? ... View more

Hey Indieinsanus I am so glad my words have helped! Relating to your later post - sounds like you know where your mental health is at overall, which is awesome, and I think it is great you have identified you would like to chat to a professional, but right now might not be the perfect time for you. I totally get that - for me, it was the same. However, I knew exactly when it suddenly became the right time for me. It's good you have been feeling better, how are you this week? Sorry for the time getting back to your post! ... View more

Hi justkeepswimming This sounds so exhausting. I can imagine a conflict with a friend like this can feel really stressful and anxiety-inducing. It does sound like W was not understanding they had breached your boundaries, or considerate of your experience, which would be really hurtful. I think it's really strong of you to recognise within yourself it's in your best interest to move on from the friendship. I have needed to end relationships with friends. I had a relationship with a friend who would consistently message and try to hang out with me, even though I was presenting clear signs I was not interested in pursuing the friendship. It was really difficult and, to be fully honest, I handled the situation a bit clumsily. I think what Andrea-RO has said sounds like a really good strategy, especially because you need to keep seeing them in some contexts. ... View more

Hey Indieinsanus   These feelings sound really heavy. I can imagine all these emotions and thoughts would feel very overwhelming. I'm sorry you are having to experience this. I do think it's really good you have jumped online and shared how you are feeling.    Speaking from my own experience (what I have learned in therapy), I was a sensitive child, and my psychologist often talks to me about how for sensitive children, even mild experiences can be impactful. So, I just want to say that whatever your feeling, whether it would be seen as a conventionally traumatic experience or not, sounds valid and worth the attention.    I have struggled with shame and associated anxiety, which comes from my childhood experiences. For me, these feelings can be very physically strong in my body, and feel to be coming from a younger, wounded part of me. Most of these experiences are not physical or conventionally traumatic sounding, but they have effects on me. This is something I work with my psychologist on. There are other things that might relate to your description of seasonal feelings. For me, when I head back to my home town, I feel a sense of shame and anxiety, like I am going to get 'caught out' there. I sometimes wonder if this relates to feeling different from other people in childhood.   In relation to your question and, I can only speak to my experience, there were events in my childhood that I feel were traumatic and had impacts on me, which were not conventionally traumatic or physical. I think whatever your experiencing is fully valid and, as you mentioned, I hope you have the opportunity to talk to someone about this and learn more about these feelings!   Does my sharing of this experience help at all? How are you feeling today?  ... View more

Hey Suzie29   What great resources! I'm glad you can find support there! I agree - talking with people who actually 'get you' feels very comforting. ... View more

Thats such a good idea! There is a really awesome jazz one here I love! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0_ejQQcrwI ... View more

Hey @lpdkojnkbhsc I thought I would jump on and share some thoughts. This sounds like a very uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing experience. I'm so sorry you have needed to deal with this. Whilst I cannot fully relate to this experience, I know when I have a friend that is making me feel uncomfortable, I need to distance myself, at least for a little and talk with a friend/ family member who I know 100% has my back. This always helps ground me and reminds me of what truly good friends are like. You're boundaries deserve to be respected so I think voicing your experience on here is really brave and strong. Please feel free to keep this thread updated with any feelings/ thoughts you are having. ... View more

I love my morning walk for this! I like rug up and go for a chilled out walk around the local park as the sun rises. This gives me space to think, be alone and in nature. It's always soothing and a calm way to start the day. ... View more

I love this one! Beef Pasta: Any pasta 500g mince Any greens you can think of (broccoli, kale, bok-choy) Capsicum A whole lotta crushed tomatoes Napoleon sauce Boil water and add pasta Cook mince separately. When cooked, throw everything else in. All done! ... View more

Hi Snowy_Triangle What you're describing sounds really rough. Loneliness is a brutal feeling, and I understand feeling it for a prolonged period would be very difficult. I think your ideas about joining a club sound really good - I think when we are feeling lonely, those kinds of warm social environments are really good. It's so difficult that these are not available right now with the lockdown - though they could be something on the horizon! When I feel lonely, I find practising self-love and acceptance really helps remind me I have myself. For me, I like to engage in a calming exercise called 'havening'. Essentially, it's gently stroking from your shoulders down your arms. It creates a soothing, warm effect. I like to tell myself everything is going be OK while I do this. Lighting some candles, having a bath, listening to some chill music also helps me when I feel this way. Does any of this sound like it would work for you? What self-care activities do you think you might enjoy? ... View more

Hey Xraychick   I hear what you're saying. I can understand how the idea of 'normal exercise' would be confusing/ create some inner conflict with you, especially when you are trying to build a healthy lifestyle that takes into account the needs of your mental health. Sounds like allot to take in!   I have struggled with the issue of 'normal exercise' myself. For a while, I would try to hit the gym and compete with others but always felt inadequate and I would give up. For me, what finally worked was an ultra-personal, solo exercise routine. One that was about getting outside and giving it a go.   For me, this was listening to my favourite podcasts or music, and starting with a light, chill jog around the park - only for 15 - 20 minutes. I told myself I could walk whenever I got tired as well. At the end, I did a small amount of strength (pushups/situps) under a nice tree.    This worked for me. I enjoyed working out and didn't have to compete with others. Now, I can run a little longer and do a bit more strength, and the routine helps with my anxiety as well.   I hope sharing my experience might be helpful! I feel exercise has become overly associated with body image. For me, it's part of my self-care so I like to keep it a little on the easier side.   Would something like this work for you? What types of exercise do you enjoy most? ... View more

Hey ShaiShai666   I just wanted to build off what Katurian said and say I can understand how difficult this experience must be for you. I can imagine the stress of doubting your partner and the insecurity involved, let alone the hurt that comes with that type of behaviour. Sounds really tough and difficult.    I think it's great you have identified you would like some help and don't want to push through alone, so I wish you the best with counselling. I can speak from experience that I had some very hefty relationship issues and relationship counselling helped me MASSIVELY.   It really created a huge change in my relationship and allowed both myself and my partner to understand the underlying communication problems involved. So I would personally congratulate you for being open to this and for sharing your experience on here.    I wish you the best with however you choose to move forward. From your writing, it sounds like you are quite aware of the supports you might need and that's really impressive.  ... View more

Self-care is so important!    Today I did something similar - I have been doing a lot of studies lately so treated myself to a nice walk, some music and a favourite meal - spicey pasta!     ... View more