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Gbear
Casual scribe
since
20-10-2020
01-03-2021
15
Posts
25
Kudos
0
Solutions
11-02-2021
05:49 AM
1 Kudo
1. Enjoyed my friend's birthday party and got her a surprise gift which she really loved and cried over ❤️ 2. Printed out a photo of a cute potato saying "slow progress is better than no progress" and stuck it in front of my mirror. 3. Had a 2am - 6am fervour of planning out my life and what baby steps I need to take. Who knows if it'll last but it gave me some confidence over what I need to do to get where I want to be.
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01-02-2021
01:50 PM
@Saltwaterdreamtime What's been on your mind recently? Anything we can do or talk about to make it easier?
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26-01-2021
06:09 PM
1 Kudo
1. I managed to achieve my daily goals today (rare) 2. Had a great time relaxing and allowing myself to relax with friends during a painting sesh 3. Finally applied to those jobs I really wanted but was too afraid to make a move
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24-01-2021
12:37 PM
1 Kudo
Also can we talk about how the title turns into "...parental pressure to succ" because it's cracking me up 😂
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24-01-2021
12:34 PM
1 Kudo
Hey everyone, I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply, things have been getting pretty hectic recently and I've been trying to get everything under control. Thank you for all the replies and checking in @WheresMySquishy, I loved reading every response and there are definitely some great ones that I will be using, such as treating myself as if I would treat a friend or a younger version of myself @Hannah-RO @A_Friend. It feels kinda silly because the answer is so simple sometimes (I know this perspective will definitely help me) but it's hard to see when you're so caught up in it all.
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14-01-2021
05:00 AM
3 Kudos
Thanks for taking the time to start this thread :) Day 1: Connect - With myself! And tell myself it's okay not to be okay until it becomes a tattoo in my skull Day 2: Keep learning - Do some extra research on jobs that I want to apply for, since my current one depresses me Day 3: Be active - No couch potato 3 days in a row!
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14-01-2021
04:52 AM
2 Kudos
Hey everyone, just thought I'd start this thread seeing as it's been on my mind a lot lately and I'm sure many people on here relate. I've long been aware of the repercussions of extremely success-hungry parents, whether it be academic, reputational, money-related etc. yet I still feel like it's a hurdle I've never been able to overcome. Growing up in a family that prioritised "perceived success" (when others view you as successful) over anything else was incredibly damaging to my self esteem and identity, and I still find myself in the clutches of 'caring too much about what others think', seeking validation and approval constantly, grossly undervaluing my worth and being ultra-unforgiving towards myself. It's ironic because as much as I advocate for everyone to find their own path, passion and to practice self-love and self-care, these standards and unconditional love somehow don't apply to myself. I recently identified how much I use denial as a defense mechanism to broach my negative emotions, because in my little brainwashed head I just never feel good enough, or worthy enough of attention or care. I think there is a greater irony and frustration in being hyper-aware of my formative years and subsequent personality traits (with the help of therapy), but still feeling like I have no real control over it. That, coupled with the feeling that depression has robbed me of many years has led me to feeling like I'm a perpetual failure that is behind in life compared to everyone else (which I know is just my brain catastrophising and being dramatic). Anyway, before this goes on for too long, TLDR; Does anyone else still struggle with extreme childhood (and existing) parental pressures to succeed? How do you think this has affected you into adolescence/ adulthood? If this was a past struggle I'd love to hear stories of how you managed to climb out of the deep deep ditch of despair :)
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14-01-2021
03:57 AM
Really liking this thread and reading through it, it's a good exercise to remind us of our strengths (particularly those of us struggling with depression or low self-esteem). 1. I have a lot of empathy and compassion, something that drives me and my direction in life. 2. I'm super emotional which I strangely like about myself (it can be a downside at times, but emotions make me feel aliiiive!) 3. I tend to do well in creative tasks, and believe I have an eye for aesthetic and "quality" :)
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02-01-2021
02:14 PM
1 Kudo
@Saltwaterdreamtime Sorry to hear that, I hope as the day goes on things will get better, even if it's as simple as laughing at a tv show or smiling at a puppy pic. I've been feeling this recently too, maybe because the concept of new years saturates us with expectations to be "happy" and that things will change even if we don't see it or have the energy to make changes... The way I've tried to try take control is to just let myself relax but then push myself to do just one thing I don't feel like doing. So my three positives would be having me-time for today, calling my mum and pushing myself to go to the gym.
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21-12-2020
03:10 AM
1 Kudo
Thank you Andrea. Honestly, it's hard to answer that question because as much as I know I should be making more effort to reconnect with him, it's not easy given the type of person he is. I think it took me many years to understand that his expression of love is just different to mine; I need verbal, physical and emotional intimacy, whereas his is more "cutting up fruit" and acts of service. I guess I bought him a new phone for Christmas which I know he appreciates even though he doesn't show it. Apart from that it's made me realise there's a lot I need to work on still. I'll be seeing a psych soon to unpack all of these layers so I think that's another good thing to take from 2020, since it's been years since I last went to therapy. I think reading posts on this forum also helps contextualise my problems to remind me that I'm not alone in dealing with all these complications, so I'm grateful for that as well.
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19-12-2020
02:19 AM
Thank you for making this thread, and thank you to everyone who shared a bit about their lives, it's a really good reminder that much is going on behind the scenes even if people don't show it. My heart really goes out for you guys @WheresMySquishy;@Wathan;@KoalaRoo7, I really feel you on the cancer/death of loved ones. I'm just a random on the internet but I really hope you guys find the solace you need and cherish the time you have/had, and just a reminder that many people on this forum are here to lend an ear if you ever need it. This year I found out my dad had stage 4 prostate cancer (he rarely had checkups before so we had no idea) and it's been awfully strange dealing with the prospect of him passing away so soon. I feel like I have so much I need to resolve before it happens? We never had a good relationship, which makes things incredibly complicated, but I still love him as my dad, and this news gave me a whirlwind of 1000 different emotions and it's all been so confusing and exhausting to figure out. All of this has really made me really re-evaluate my life and priorities, and I know there is much to work on with our relationship, or I might regret it for the rest of my life. I think this stress + anxiety over doing well enough at uni (needing an 85+ average WAM) and being mistreated at work have really had its toll on my mental health this year, but I'm glad that I'm at a stage now where I can consciously make the effort to actually self care and give myself a break without feeling like it's "wrong". This has been a huge change for me and I hope many others have also come to the realisation that their mental health is incredibly important and worth nurturing. <3
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07-12-2020
03:31 AM
3 Kudos
Hey @losingmyself, I'm glad you've shared your concerns about what you're going through. Trust me many people go through this, so just know you're definitely not alone! Personally, I experienced a whole '#$%^&' mess of a situation when I was coming out. It wasn't even much of a "coming-out", my mum just found out through my emails to my school counsellor. Then she disowned and cold-shouldered me 5 years (also a good reminder to spy-proof your posts if you're definitely not ready to be exposed like I was!) I had a reaaaally difficult time coping with new bills, with the societal expectations of the HSC and full-time work. But I'm not saying this to scare you or make you feel anxious. Because at the end of those 5 harsh years, the unbelievable happened: my mum actually came around (and after much needed education), loves and accepts me for who I am now. I know I can't possibly understand your family or your situation, but I just wanted to let you know that these things DO happen, and that you DO deserve a happy ending. You still have a journey ahead of you to figure things out, and it will take time, but you never have to face things alone. In the meantime I agree with everyone else here, if you don't feel ready to share anything or feel like you need more time to understand yourself, take all the time you need in the world .
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07-12-2020
02:44 AM
3 Kudos
Hi everyone! I'm glad to 'officially' be part of this community now! Years ago I would often browse the forums anonymously in search of support or relatability to mental health challenges. Fast forward to now, I feel like I'm finally on the right track (fingers crossed!) and working towards what I love, and contributing to this forum is a great feeling. I love the sense of community here and how lovely everyone is, and look foward to chatting with everyone (hopefully not too much because I have a tendency to blab ) 1. What are your favourite things about summer? Honestly summer is my least favourite season (because I'm a basement-dwelling vampire with an allergy to heat), but there's something about summer thunderstorms that is soooo relaxing and delightful to me 2. What are you most looking forward to for the end of the year? I'm waiting for that new year's countdown so I can finally have my first new year's kiss with my boyfriend. Cheesy I know! But all my past relationships have ended before new years and it's just a silly little dream of mine... :P 3. How would you sum up your 2020 in a sentence? Lots of (necessary) change 4. How will you look after yourself over the holidays? I actually bought a whiteboard recently to help me keep on track with my goals. I'm finding it really helpful to have my daily goals and long-term goals written out next to my mirror (but then again it could just be because I'm a nerd and enjoy reading the list as "Main quest/ Side quests" ) 5. What's the best thing you've discovered this year? (it could be a genre of music, a new food, something about yourselves, etc.) I discovered that my one of my 8gb ram memory sticks in my computer was not fitted in properly... from 3 years ago... so I lived a life thinking I was restricted to 8gb ram gaming... UNTIL I REMEMBERED I ACTUALLY HAD 16GB AND ONE JUST WASN'T STUCK IN PROPERLY 6. When and why did you join the forums? What's your favourite thing to do on here? I officially just joined this week, because I really wanted personally contribute to a platform that really helped me when I was younger. My favourite thing to do is read all the different experiences and advice from other people here, it's amazing how connected we can be despite never knowing who is on the other side of the screen!
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20-10-2020
10:06 PM
5 Kudos
Hey everyone! Today I practiced self-care by telling myself it was okay that I procrastinated posting this for a couple of days and to not beat myself up over neglecting my to-do-list! Personally this is an important reminder for myself, due to overwhelming perfectionist tendencies and the anxiety of doing "enough" in this busy busy world full of expectations :).
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My Recent High Fives Received
Subject | High Fives | Posted |
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1 | 11-02-2021 05:49 AM | |
1 | 24-01-2021 12:37 PM | |
1 | 26-01-2021 06:09 PM | |
1 | 24-01-2021 12:34 PM | |
2 | 14-01-2021 04:52 AM |
My Recent High Fives Given
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Public Statistics
Date Registered | 20-10-2020 09:58 PM |
Date Last Visited | 01-03-2021 09:08 AM |
Total Messages Posted | 15 |
Total High Fives Received | 25 |
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