@SmileMonkey it helped. It's just really hard to convince myself I'm not to blame. It's so hard when I'm turning against myself. I don't feel as though I'm who people think I am. I feel disappointed and disgusted in myself. Perhaps it's just me overthinking, taking on more shame and guilt than I should. ... View more

@TOM-RO I'm not feeling as overwhelmed anymore, I don't feel great, but not the worst. Just been trying to occupy myself by simple things like relaxation, watching TV, spending time with family etc. I talked through how I felt with a friend, it was a lot easier to open than I initially assumed. ... View more

@SmileMonkey I'm feeling pretty stuck on the poem, oh well, maybe it'll eventually come to me. Maybe one day I'll stop feeling so damn guilty and ashamed over what I had no control over. ... View more

@lucas dealing with unpleasant memories can be tricky. I'm still learning how to deal with my own. Sometimes it takes a while to find what works, but it's possible to get through this. I think it's important to reach out, have strategies e.g. Expression. Do you have close friends or are you seeing a counsellor or doc? ... View more

@scared01 you're drawings are good :) how are you doing today? ... View more

@letigo I have anidea for a poem, where I just touch upon it without saying what happened. And I've been trying to keep up my regular exercise routine. ... View more

@DruidChild studies can be tough, you should be proud of yourself. Neg: unresolved emotions Pos: I'm holding up. Neg: still in physical pain Pos: the pain is easing up. ... View more

@SmileMonkey I could try writing in third person. @Jack RIP my form of expression currently is brisk walking, because I find it easier than spilling out the words. I don't know if it's just me pressurising myself for feeling like this, and having to keep it in. I can't help but wonder what if other people would want me to keep it in because they don't know what to say or do? I feel like I have to do this alone, I don't know if I'm okay with that, I just have to be okay with it. Maybe I'll try to other ways to express myself apart from exercising like writing or drawing. ... View more

@SmileMonkey writing does help, I think I've been afraid to express myself, because if I put words to this it'll feel more real. I don't want it to be real. ... View more

@Eden1717 I think it's important to talk about side effects you're having from the medication and where to go from there, especially if the side effects are interfering with your life. I think there are a range of different options for medication for bipolar, but your doctor will know more about that. Finding the right medication or medication combination can be tricky. It took me a really long time to get onto the right combination before I was able to achieve stability. I think it's pretty normal to feel uncomfortable with the idea of telling others about your mental health. You can open up at your own pace, and talk to those who you trust. And you're always welcome to talk on here :) ... View more

@scared01 glade to hear you're doing good. 5 hours is a big achievement, though do make sure you're taking breaks in between. Hope you have a good day ahead of you :) ... View more

@safari relaxation did help :). @j95 that must really suck. But that doesn't make you less of a person, and that doesn't mean you aren't talented. Even talented people fall. Neg: I think I'm coming down with a cold Pos: I feel better after having a good nights sleep Neg: my neck and back are still sore Pos: I'm seeing my physio today Neg: plagued with anger, guilt and frustration Pos: I'm hanging on ... View more

@j95 sounds like you're on the right track :). I hope it does work out. Hang in there, Though I would like I point out you're not dumb. A lot of students struggle with their studies and it's okay to ask for help, ... View more

@scared01 medicine sounds cool :). How are you? How are your studies going? ... View more

@DirtWitch I'll try to bring it up to my therapist. Even if I can't talk to him in detail, I can tell him I feel hurt, and how to go about from that. @JanaG I've been trying to do that. But I've had to come to the realisation that I can't avoid this forever. I've been avoiding talking and writing about it. Though I do charge my inner frustration into a workout, I still have lingering feelings. @letigo @Bree-RO I've tried reaching out a bit to a friend, it helped. I haven't told her a great deal about it. Frankly I'm too scared to put words to it at this stage, I guess I'll take it slowly, it's not that I've never spoken about it to friends and family, I haven't spoken about it for so long. And I'm scared of making them feel uncomfortable. I don't know how to be open about this completely with my therapist, it's not that I don't trust him, it's just complicated. ... View more

Neg: emotions I've been trying to push away are coming to the surface Pos: I think I've got a better handle at this now, Neg: feeling guilty that I'm not being productive Pos: I need some time off to relax and take care of myself. Resting and relaxing myself is helping me emotionally and physically, ... View more

@ivory you don't sound like a bad person. As mentioned earlier everyone makes mistakes, we all have rough patches and sometimes we all end up doing things we regret. Nobody is perfect. Regretting your mistakes says a lot about you as a person, it means you really do care about people. I remember this phase in my life when I was probably was a really difficult person to be around, deep inside I know I was hurting. Learning to forgive yourself and take care of yourself is vital. Are you seeing a counsellor? Is there anyone you can talk to about this? ... View more

@DruidChild changing medication can be scary but there is always the possibility the new medication could help you. When my psychiatrist added a new med I wasn't so sure at first, it was rough initially but then I noticed a difference. Sometimes it takes a while to find the right medication and what works for you. Things are not as hopeless as they seem. Hang in there. You've got this. You're a valuable member on RO and you deserve to be happy, ... View more

@Bree-RO I do try to occupy myself throughout the day, but even when I'm not thinking about it, its at the back of my mind. I think I'm trying so hard to ignore it, I'm trying to convince myself I'm overreacting and that's it not a big deal. Im holding conflicting emotions, should I really be angry at someone who is struggling with themselves and their life? @DirtWitch I'm glade you were able to reach out. Coping with difficult feelings alone is hard. I could try reaching out. I know I could tell my therapist about some of the hurt, I'm not sure I could tell him everything at this point. I can see if I can talk to any of my friends and family members. ... View more

@JanaG I can feel it flaring up again now. Maybe it'll help to lie down and relax. ... View more