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- About Ngaio-RO
Ngaio-RO
Star contributor
since
08-12-2016
29-11-2017
291
Posts
160
Kudos
0
Solutions
29-11-2017
12:31 PM
Hi @August
What you're going through sounds horrible for you, your mum and your sisters, and pets too.
I'm so sorry about your Aunt. Were you close? If you're feeling like the grief from losing your Aunt is affecting you in a way that you don't think you can manage without help then please call the service Bree listed. They are wonderful at helping people find a way to cope.
I would also really like you to contact 1800 RESPECT. Any kind of abuse absolutely not ok but from your description, things are really bad. You deserve to be safe in your home and in your family. This service can help you with anything you might need. Coping strategies, legal advice, financial advice, all of it.
They have a phoneline you can call just to chat. 1800 737 732 Open 24 hours a day with trained professionals who will never pressure you to do anything you don't feel ready to do.
What do you think @August ?
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10-11-2017
05:02 PM
Hi @cola
Hearing voices can be really confusing and scary. Especially if they are saying things that are upsetting.
Have you ever talk to a doctor about it?
Do you feel like you might be at risk of hurting yourself or attempting suicide?
If you are, please call 1300 659 467 or click here for their site
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09-11-2017
12:08 PM
Hi @Silencekiller
I'm so sorry to hear your parents treat you like that. As you are 21 years old you are now an adult. Is it possible for you to get away from them and live in a different house? It sounds like things are very hard for you there, would they be better if you decided to leave and live somewhere else?
Also, I noticed that you're not in Australia. The only problem with that is we can't provide you with any local services that might be able to help. Would you consider looking around for a similar type of service to ReachOut but closer to you?
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Re: NO mental benefits from Meditation or Excersiz...
30-10-2017
11:59 AM
30-10-2017
11:59 AM
Hi @boredandannoyed27
I know that for me, it can be really upsetting when the answers that get talked about a lot don't seem to work for me. For years I was told exercise would reduce my anxiety and it just didn't.
So I would get really annoyed when I couldn't seem to find other answers.
Weirdly enough, that changed and now I love swimming, but that's a whole different story.
So have you found anything to have worked? And if not, are you keen for some suggestions?
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30-10-2017
10:57 AM
1 Kudo
Hey @redhead
My first post disappeared, weird!
I just wanted to say how proud I am of you for going with your flatmate to the hospital.
I imagine it must have been really hard to do it but you went and I just wanted to acknowledge you for that.
Can you try and have a relaxing, restorative day today?
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27-10-2017
12:55 PM
1 Kudo
What a great question @tgdadvocacyboi
I'd love to see members replying so we can have a thread with a bunch of great tips!!
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27-10-2017
12:10 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @Dying
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us.
You have been through so much. None of which you deserved. And I imagine some days it must feel very hard to just keep putting one foot in front of another.
I wonder though if you get a sense of your personal strength the way I do when I read your words.
It just pours off the page, this amazing strength of yours.
I hope you are able to connect to it sometimes.
You don't mention whether you still see your counsellor, I really hipe you do. Or if you have stopped, I really hope you're considering starting again.
Having someone to hear your experiences and help you see that they happened TO you not because of you. And then help you connect with your incredible personal strength.
A counsellor can help you do this.
What do you think?
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23-10-2017
07:07 PM
20-09-2017
12:51 PM
1 Kudo
Hey @Jeplar
I accidentally posted before I checked my spelling etc. so I apologise for the errors.
But I'm so glad it helped a bit.
So, if you're going to put aside everyone else's thoughts and perceptions of you for a bit, what does that mean for where you're at now? As in, what would your next step be?
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19-09-2017
10:01 AM
2 Kudos
Hey @Jeplar Thanks so much for sharing your situation with us. Questioning your sexuality can be a really tricky time, especially for a young person. I hope you find ReachOut has lots of support and info that can make the journey a little easier for you.
One thing that's even harder than all this combined is mind reading. In fact, it's impossible! And that's exactly what we're doing when we try to know " how people will interpret it." and "how people will perceive me when I tell them."
One of the greatest pieces of advice I have been given is 'Don't do other people's thinking for them.' Trying to work out what people will think of your choices will leave you chasing your tail forever. Try, if you can, to put that aside and just focus on what you think and what you need.
Does that sound ok to you?
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14-09-2017
03:58 PM
3 Kudos
Hey @j95
if it's ok, I'd really like to share why I'm voting Yes.
I'm not LGBTIQA so it's not because I'm voting for MY right to marry. I already have that.
Which is why I'm voting yes.
I can't support a system that lets me do something but says not to others. It's just not fair.
Exactly the same as I would have voted Yes for the civil rights movement and their push for equal rights.
Did you know there was a time when black people were not legally allowed to marry white people? Can you even imagine that?
Imagine falling in love with someone and being told you can't marry them because a bunch of people who aren't black decided that black people were going to 'ruin their way of life.' It's so hard to imagine but it's such recent history.
So I know this argument must seem like there are two options but if someone said to me that there are two sides to Reconciliation I would honestly say, no there's not. There's just one. To support it.
But that's just me.
I'm picking up from your post that most of all you're feeling like it's not ok to choose a side. Is that right?
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14-09-2017
11:09 AM
1 Kudo
Hey @anonymousnobody
First off, I'm so sorry your dad left your mum and you. That truly sucks. Even if he wasn't going to be a good dad, he just left you with a bunch of questions and that's not fair.
Second, what your classmate did was not ok. I'm not sure if he was talking about you directly or not but, even if he wasn't, it was a dumb thing to say and you have every right to feel upset. This is huge stuff and him talking about it like that would upset anyone who had gone through something similar.
And if he WAS talking about you, then that's even worse and you have a right to be properly pissed off at him.
Are you feeling up to talking to him about it? If it's drug use that's making him act this way, maybe he needs help. How bad do you think it is?
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14-09-2017
10:57 AM
Hey @Pariscat16 It's so great that you are looking after yourself in this way. Getting an understanding of what you're living with is a huge step in getting better at managing it.
It sounds like things have been really hard for you, for quite some time. I'm confident that the step you're taking will help with that.
Here's some info on what kinds of health professionals you can access.
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11-09-2017
06:15 PM
Hey @redhead That sucks, I'm sure this question doesn't need to be asked but..
Is there any way out of it? and, if not, what can we do to help?
I love @Bee's idea of brainstorming some strategies.
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08-09-2017
11:42 AM
Hi @mlang166 I'm so sorry you are going through this.
It's NEVER acceptable for people to make someone feel unsafe or to touch someone without permission and I'm really worried about what's going on at your school.
You describe a couple of teachers being involved in this situation which is a good start but I can't work out of they know the full story.
Have you told the Deputy Principle, or maybe a teacher you like. that you were touched by a boy in your year?
School is never perfect and there will always be yuck people in the world BUT you have a right to be protected when you're there and if you don't feel protected or safe you need to let them know.
Is there a teacher or staff member in the school you like talking to?
Or your parents, an adult or someone you trust out of school that you could talk to?
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05-09-2017
10:24 AM
Hey @N0va
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I'm sorry things are so tough for you at the moment. Here's a couple of things that might be helpful.
This is about feeling sad all the time and what some of the causes might be. It includes links to some problem-solving strategies that could help you start to feel better.
This is about family conflict. It has some great info about how conflict is caused and things you can do to reduce it. This could really help you feel better about your relationship with your mum.
And this is a conversation between ReachOut community members discussing conflict with parents. There might be some differences between your situation and their situation but there might be some similarities too.
What do you think?
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05-09-2017
09:59 AM
Hey @Teoni Welcome to ReachOut.
It's incredibly scary to have a loved one talk about wanting to end their life and to be self-harming. We feel terrified we're going to lose them and completely powerless to change anything. That fear doesn't go away but you can reduce it a bit by learning how best to support your sister so you can at least feel safe that you're doing all you can.
Here's a good place to start. It's all about providing support to a suicidal friend/sibling. I would suggest you ask your mum to have a read as well. It gives practical tips on what you can do and has links to more info.
It's also really important to look after yourself. Have you got people in your life you can talk to?
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30-08-2017
11:20 AM
2 Kudos
Hey @lonelyandinsane I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.
Can I first just check that you've got everything you need in terms of looking after your injury? Also, I want to congratulate you on getting yourself checked out and stitched. You may not have acknowledged yourself yet for it but it takes courage and strength to do what's needed in a situation like this. I'm so glad you looked after yourself.
It can feel like such a blow to find yourself returning to old coping behaviours. It's natural to want to get mad at yourself. But please try to treat yourself gently instead.
If it helps, imagine you're a friend who has come to you with this same situation. What would you say to your friend? Would you yell at them and tell them they're stupid for wasting all that hard work or would you love and support them, telling them it's natural to return to things that have worked in the past but the most important thing to remember is that if you stopped once you can absolutely stop again.
Right now you need as much compassion and understanding as possible. From your support network and from yourself.
Do you have someone in your life you can talk to? Do you see a health professional?
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29-08-2017
11:17 AM
Hey @j95 The link isn't letting me watch the video. Is that just me?
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08-08-2017
10:52 AM
1 Kudo
Hey @UnknownOne You have every right to be concerned. No matter what, an age gap like that is inappropriate for a romantic relationship. A 14-year-old, even if they are incredibly mature and adult, is still in a very different space physically, psychologically and emotionally from a 19-year-old, even if they are very immature and childlike.
Age gaps become less meaningful as we age, so there's not a lot of difference between a 34 and a 39-year-old but that's just an argument for them to wait.
Because your friend is still developing (our brains grow until 24) she may not be in the best position to make this decision by herself. Do you think involving her parents might be a good option?
Have you told your friend you find it weird?
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07-08-2017
11:24 AM
1 Kudo
Hello @rah0_0rah
I'm so very sorry to hear what happened to you. Nobody deserves that and anybody who survives an ordeal like that needs support.
It's very natural to have flashbacks to a traumatic incident. The best way to manage them is to get professional support.
Please contact 1800RESPECT they are a great place to get some immediate support and to work out a long term strategy to manage the feelings and flashbacks.
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26-07-2017
05:44 PM
That sounds so overwhelming and full on. No wonder you feel like you can't do this anymore @Eden1717
What about keeping going with off loading your thoughts here?
Does it help to get it out?
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26-07-2017
04:56 PM
I'd really like to hear what's going on today @Eden1717
Just let rip, say whatever it is that's going round in your head.
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26-07-2017
03:54 PM
Hi @NightNadder23 I'm so sorry you had to wait a while for a reply. That's on us. I understand that you're angry at yourself for doing something you regret but please remember EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON makes mistakes. Everyone. Without exception. The really big difference between you and many other people is that you have the wisdom to acknowledge you made a mistake and to accept that the responsibility is yours. That's very evolved of you. You deserve to take a moment to acknowledge yourself for being honest with yourself in a situation that many would not be. Lot's of people would just keep telling themselves they had every reason to behave the way they did and refuse to feel remorse. The fact you're sorry is very meaningful. As far as your friends go, do you think they will feel differently after some time has passed? Do they just need to see that you truly are sorry?
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20-07-2017
06:03 PM
Sorry, yep you're right GoFundMe might be better. See what they say.
It's all about not being afraid to ask for help and recognising that you are worthy of support. :)
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20-07-2017
05:47 PM
Hey @j95 You're right, grants are to help people, but that just means you're the person they're helping.
My suggestion would be to start calling some ATSI services in the area and see whether there are any services helping young Indigenous people get to see where their people are from. It's not hard to imagine that it might exist. Sometimes it's just about how you frame it.
Like "I want a free holiday" or "I'm a young Aboriginal man living in an urban setting who has experienced a lot of hardship but has overcome it all and now I'm wanting to access support to get back to my roots to learn about the remote area I come from and what my history is."
Take some time, keep calling and asking. It's worth it.
And, at the same time, you could set up a Kickstarter page. and look for funding there.
I guess my view is that if I had to pay for 2 x ten hour taxi rides then I would not cope with stuff going wrong after that. I would feel so stretched by the cost that I would need everything to work out perfectly or I would be overwhelmingly disappointed.
I would feel so much more chilled if I was financially supported or subsidised because then, no matter what happens, it'll still be worth it because it's a trip away.
Do you relate?
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My Recent High Fives Received
Subject | High Fives | Posted |
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1 | 28-06-2017 10:57 AM | |
1 | 27-10-2017 12:10 PM | |
1 | 30-10-2017 10:57 AM | |
1 | 27-10-2017 12:55 PM | |
1 | 20-09-2017 12:51 PM |
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Date Registered | 08-12-2016 11:46 AM |
Date Last Visited | 29-11-2017 06:59 PM |
Total Messages Posted | 291 |
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