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Mod
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Everything is so hard

I'm trying so damn hard to be an adult and not have a breakdown but it feels like life is determined to make me fail. I'm so frustrated with everything, but there's a few things that're really shit:

 

1. My car has crapped out on me. It was due for a service a few weeks ago but I was waiting until I had the money. Now it looks like I don't have a choice though haha. And I'm scared to call the mechanic because I'll sound so dumb trying to explain what's wrong with the car because I'm so clueless

 

2. Stupid ATAPS keep telling everyone different things. According to my GP my referral is supposed to get me unlimited sessions until later this month because I've been "at risk" (of hurting myself), but normally they only issue vouchers for 6 sessions, so now my psych is claiming I need a new referral (which ATAPS won't give me, because they're saying my old referral is still valid...) I'm waiting for a call back as I type this but it's been over an hour already Smiley Indifferent

 

3. Still haven't got the refund cheque from TAFE. The course coordinator magically appeared the other week so I sent her the enrolment cancelation form (because I'm not going into campus, not after how last time went...) She said last Monday that she was going to process the form but I haven't heard anything more. And I really need the fucking money (see point 1)

 

So yeah, everything is hard and I just want to cry

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Mod
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: Everything is so hard

[ Edited ]

Okay so an update:

 

1. I called and booked my car in for a service on Thursday. It was the most ridiculous phone call ever though - "is there anything in particular you want looked at?" I'm like oh fuck I don't even know how to explain anything about cars. I eventually stumbled out some nonsense like "uhh... it won't... accelerate... uphill?". I'm such an idiot. At least I made the phone call though?

 

2. ATAPS is sorted; turns out I was right and I don't need another referral for a few weeks. So I've cancelled my GP appointment for tomorrow. Yay.

 

3. Still no word from TAFE. I'm so worked up right now that I don't even want to think about it. I want to hurt myself but I'll have some lunch and watch Parks and Recreation for a bit instead

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Community Manager
Posts: 5,614
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: Everything is so hard

Glad to hear the ATAPS thing is sorted. Good job on pushing back on people being derps and not understaning the system. A lot of people would just be like "oh i can't have more appointments" or something like that. It's good that you persisted i reckon.

 

I hope the Tafe thing sorts out soon! Could you email them and let them know you're experiencing financial hardship and you need to know when they will refund you?

 

Hope the car isn't too bad. Eeep.

 

Holy crap that's a lot of calls!

 

Nice one on the self-care and the noms Smiley Happy

 

tumblr_md1cr9CZUu1rey868o1_400.gif

Mod
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: Everything is so hard

@Ben-RO yeah I mean it almost doesn't seem worth the effort given that it'll only give me one extra appointment, but I've been working really hard on stuff lately and I need that extra bit of help so I don't go back downhill. Email is a good idea - I just sent the coordinator a quick message asking for an update so hopefully she responds.

And yeah phone calls are awful and I've made about a million over the last two days Smiley Sad still feeling shitty but at least I'm letting myself rest now
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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Builder
Posts: 16,250
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Everything is so hard

Hey @lokifish sounds like you've had a nice and productive day, just dropping in to say well done the self care Smiley Happy
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: Everything is so hard

Thanks @j95 Smiley Happy

 

I woke up with an awful cold this morning so I've been miserable all day Smiley Sad

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Mod
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: Everything is so hard

My car is now fixed - mum paid for it though and I said I'd pay her back but I don't know how that's going to happen. And my messing around with Centrelink for so many months means I'm probably not going to be able to get back on Youth Allowance because my parents earn too much (WHY IS IT EVEN DEPENDENT ON PARENTAL INCOME?! I AM AN ADULT!!) And I just found out that my GP is now on leave for 6 weeks which means I'm gonna have to see another doctor to get new ATAPS vouchers, which I don't want at all. Why is everything so fucking hard? I should just be dead by now

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Community Manager
Posts: 5,614
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: Everything is so hard

Oh no @lokifish another big pile of tricky stuff! Gosh dang it!

 

I am glad your car is getting fixed and you can go places, yay !

 

Wait, i thought we sorted out the ATAPS thing? Can you clarify with the new doctor what you discovered?

 

You mentioned that you feel like you should be dead, i'm kinda worried but also know you have heaps good skills at staying safe too. So i'm still going to ask, do you have a plan to hurt yourself or end your life?

 

 

Last thing, what can we do to tackle all this? Is it currently time to just work through the stress and the feelings that come with that, or should we work on a plan of attack?

 

 

Mod
Posts: 1,623
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: Everything is so hard

Hey @lokifish, glad your car got fixed. And well done on planning to watch Parks and Rec for some self-care, and for making all those phone calls.

 

Just want to reiterate that you're an awesome human being and you can get through anything and everything! Heart How are you today? 

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My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe
Mod Squad
Posts: 2,036
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Everything is so hard

@lokifish I second @letitgo's view! Amazing human Smiley Happy

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