Self Harm Recovery
hey guys!
Im still getting used to this whole forum thing so feel free to tell me if i put this in the wrong section etc.
But I really wanted to share my story so yeah
One year ago today at around about this time something tipped in my mind. I dont really know how to describe it but it was almost like I was sick of everything. I was sick of being caught in this cycle of feel shit-->self harm -->feel better-->feel shit-->self harm etc.
I wasnt in a good way. And today Im proud to say that I am ONE YEAR SELF HARM FREE! I never knew this could be me but im so proud of myself.
Probably the best moment this year was when my GP was filling out a form of something to do with my Mental Health and it asked a question about "Is the patient at risk to him/herself""
SHE TICKED NO
I swear there have been really good moments this year just like there have been really bad. But when she ticked no...that was like a sign. Im 17 yo (turning 18 next month) and never in my teenage years (since I was 13) has my GP ever been able to tick anything other than Yes.
So this isnt really me boasting (actually it kinda is)- its more of me wanting to say that anyone can do it. There have been many times when my parents, family, friends, even doctors have said that they dont think I'll make it after a suicide attempt.
I F***ing made it!
Comments
so happy for you, @hopethepiano, what an achievement. its great that this has given you a sense of hope, and also let it remind you that it is totally possible to achieve incase you break the strike you can do it again! you sound super strong.
You are totally right too, anyone can do it. You proved your family, friends and doctors all wrong because you are awesome. Double high fives!
Hell yes @hopethepiano - what an accomplishment! I reckon you have every right to have a nice long humble brag 🙂
Do you remember what inspiring that turning point and how your frame of mind changed? Is there a technique you use when you have urges to self harm that you could share with others who are in the same boat?
@ElleBelle Hey there! To be honest it wasnt actaully a quick change in around August las year I wated to stop self harning and I made it around 2 months (the longest I had ever gone befoe now). It was that the months before October last year I realised how Ive lost all im independence because of self harming. For example:
-all objects that could be used for self harming were either locked up or thrown away
-I wasnt allowed to go out anywhere
-I didnt have many good friends because I couldnt talk to them outside of school
-I wasnt allowed home alone (there were times I would practically be babysat by somone younger than me)
-I was so used to self harming as a strategy that i would have to do real damage for it to have the outcome I want etc (I dont want to go in depth but I think anyon who self harms would know what I mean)
-I was watched like a hawk most of the time even at school.
-I wanted control over my life and I was sick of evryone having to watch over me and sick of the idea that i could never get better.
For Anyone in the same boat who have been using self harming as a coping mechanism for a long time here are things Ive used: (well some of them)
- Talking to psychologists when necessary
- When i first started stopping i would have A LOT of cold shower it helped as an alternative to sh,
- Going on walks
- Calling Kids helpline
- Putting music on really loudly and dancing in my room
- Most of the things I would do would be a preventative method so if I feel okay but feel myself going down I would use strategies to prevent myself from feeling worse
- Challenging my thoughts for example "Im never gonna get better" would be challenged with " Well no one really knew you would come out of that last suicide attempt and here you are"
- If somthing were to happen at home i would challenge i like this: the thought "why does this always happen to me?" would be challenged with "Your going through a lot. Its normal to feel hopeless. It may not be a 'normal' situation but you are doing your best"
- Asing for help at school- I found myself talking to teachers whenever I felt like my friends didnt understand me.
- Realising that before this year Ive used self harm as a strategy repeatedly because at the time it worked. If i were to do it again it would work but there are other things that can work too that are safer.
- Keeping myself busy Ive watched a lot of TV shows in this past year when I have no mental strength to do anything else.
- Having a routine- after school I have a routine that keeps me doing soemthing its usually do hw/study, excercise, piano, watch something and then every night I watch the project (on channel ten) the reason I do this is becasue Im in the living room of my house and everyone in my family enjoys the project. So even though my family can be a pain in the ass it is some weird kind of 'family time' whether my mum is cooking or my brother working we are all in the same room for an hour and because there is a show we all like we dont really need to talk. This helped give myself some structure during the late afternoon (I used to feel very isolated during this time)
Anyway Really sorry this is longer than I thought but just wanted to give other people some tips that have worked for me.
Hope this helps 🙂
Hey @hopethepiano I just wanted to thank you for being so brave and openly talking about your experience with self harm. What you've written could help someone who might be going through a similar situation, immensely!
I'm so happy for you and all that you've accomplished! 
Hey that is excellent, @hopethepiano ! It's a tough road, but it sounds youve recognized some awesome progress. 🙂
I deal with young people who sometimes self harm, and my heart goes out when someone experiences such distress and anxiety.
By coming on ReachOut since a year ago, I myself have learned to feel more comfortable opening up and sharing my own stories, too. So thanks very much for letting us witness all your journeys to help others. Thank you.
Oooh i have an idea for sharing this. We'll be starting a project soon where people can share their stories and their journey to recovery.
@hopethepiano can I pass on your details to the people in ReachOut who are doing this project?
@N1ghtW1ng can i do the same for you?
@Ben-RO you can pass on my details to reachout people. Im happy to share my story 🙂
