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A huge thank you to @PsychologistRashida for your time and warmth this eve!
I always love having you on the forums to chat. Looking forward to more of these in the future 🥰
If anyone has an idea for a future AMAA topic please let us know 👇
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We're almost ready to wrap up for the night, and I'm so happy this question came through. We've spoken about tonight, socialising is integral to being human. It's also really nice to be comfortable in your own company. What do you think, @PsychologistRashida?
How can you learn to enjoy your own company?
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Yes i think this is a great concept to consider for the topic of loneliness.
We can learn to enjoy our own company by practicing to be in our own company.
Like anything in life that we are unfamiliar with doing or that feels uncomfortable to us, practicing it is what brings about a gradual ease with it and maybe even an eventual enjoyment whilst doing it.
Practicing to be in your own company and enjoy it is no different.
Spend small amounts of time alone to build youself up to becoming more familiar with it and then increase that time; You don't have to sit and do nothing either, you can engage in anything you want whilst you're exposing yourself to it.
Maybe try something that gets you into a 'flow state' which means the time and hours sort of slip by because you are immersed and enjoying the activity.
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Few things in this world make me happier than getting into a flow-state.
The best part of spending time with yourself is that you can do exactly what you want to do and not worry about compromise. It takes practice for sure, but it's so worth it!
It would be great to hear from you all - what gets you into a flow state?
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Thank you so much for having me for another AMAA.
As always such thoughtful, vulnerable and great questions. I really appreciate them all and i hope my guidance and answers have been helpful.
Goodnight and i will hopefully see you back here soon 🙂
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Feeling like the odd one out in your family is so hard. Looking forward to @PsychologistRashida answering this one.
im the odd one out in my family and it makes me feel alone. How can i cope with these feelings?
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This must make you feel so alone and I know it can bring about more and more questions and confusion, sadness, anger, frustration and anxiety.
Being the odd one out in the family doesn't mean you will be the odd one out in life.
Without trying to sound too clichéd; The world and people in it are vast. There are so many people who will resonate with being the odd one within the family and it may turn into a community that can become more of a chosen family for you.
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Omg this!!
"Being the odd one out in the family doesn't mean you will be the odd one out in life."
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I honestly can't say how much I love that pearl of wisdom :')
We actually have a great video about chosen family, I thought I'd share
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Another big thank you to the community member who reached out with this question 😊
I’m feeling really isolated but I don’t want to bother people or annoy them. How do I ask friends to hang out more without seeming needy?
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I would say that if you're feeling this way, it is very, very likely that others in your friends circle are also feeling this way. This could open up a great conversation on finding a time to meet up and hang out.
Remember there is nothing needy at all about wanting to hang out with friends or have a catch up. We are social beings, we are made to be in social groups and engaging with each other. If we label this as needy we are going against our basic biology and what we need to survive!
The loneliness epidemic is real and research shows that we have gone down from living in groups of 40-150 to large percentages of people living completely alone and this is not good for our mental or physical health.
Reach out, check in and connect. 🙂
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Totally agree with you @PsychologistRashida I couldn't help but laugh when I finally told a friend I was feeling this way, and they were feeling exactly the same!
Another stand out quote of the night
"If we label this as needy we are going against our basic biology and what we need to survive!"
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Ahhh this is so relatable!! competing work schedules are so hard to adjust to
Me and my friends work schedules all clash and i feel like we're all drifting apart. I don't get along with people from work and its making me feel really depressed
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Oh yes.. very relatable. I'm sure so many people will benefit from this question being asked, so thank you!
I would organise a group chat if you don't already have one - this will allow for connection at any time outside of the times you can get together physically.
I would explore setting a monthly catch up in advance that may suit peoples schedules and even if not everyone can make it, you can have a few alternate dates or monthly catch ups.
As we get older and various new responsibilities start to fill our lives, things such as drifting apart from friends can really take a toll on our mental health.
Consider joining a hobby group or community with a shared interest to have various groups of friends that don't have to be from work but allow you to have a social interaction.
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I agree @PsychologistRashida this is such a common experience. I remember longing for the days when I could hang out with my friends for days on end with no prep.
I really like your suggestions. Hopefully, opening up a convo about how hard it is to catch up for everyone and working around it will help this community member.
I've been saying for years that someone needs to create an app where everyone can add in their work schedule, and the app gives you potential times/dates to hang out 😅
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There is an app that does something very similar called 'doodle' - Check this out!!
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I will definitely check it out!! haha so happy something like that actually exists 😆
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Thank you to the community member who asked this question 😌 I can imagine this is a confusing thing to be going through.
When me and my girlfriend first started dating it was exciting. Now we live together and have been together for two years. There's nothing wrong with the relationship but i feel so lonely with her and don't know how to deal with it
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This is an interesting and I bet a very confusing and confronting experience.
It's super common that after the 'honeymoon' or bonding phase of a relationship is over and we move into a stage in which we are connected on multiple levels, we lose the novelty and some of the initial 'excitement' - I wonder if that is what is causing some of this loneliness.
I would be curious to know if this relationship / area of life is the only place you are feeling lonely - as this may point to more information about if this is a general feeling or related specifically to the relationship.
Also if you have been together for 2 years, it seems those 2 years may have covered the time we have been in and out of lockdowns; meaning that maybe alot of your extra social supports and connections have taking a back seat resulting in alot of time just with your partner. This could be more of an experience of needing to open back up your channels of support and network.
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Super insightful response. I can imagine there are a bunch of things for this community member to consider. I hope reading through this chat tonight is food for thought 😌
I feel like part of what makes a romantic relationship strong is having lots of other important connections in your life. Friends, acquaintances, family and a community you love being part of. Definitely, a hard thing to maintain over the past two years.
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Yes I saw a great animation about this the other day.
It had a couple looking at the universe and reminding each other that they are a planet in each others universe. The other planets were things like friends, family, work, hobbies.. and that in order to have a functioning universe we need all the planets to be doing their thing and supported!
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I looove that!!
It can be easy to lose touch with all the other "planets" in your life - especially when it is so comfy/familiar to hang out with your partner all the time. I'm sure many of us have been there at some stage.
It's a worthwhile experiment to push yourself to join a hobby, catch up with an old friend or spend the weekend with a family member. It's kinda cliche but the whole "distance makes the heart grow fonder" rings true!
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Another super vulnerable question, and one I'm sure many people can relate to at the moment.
Im lonely but I get really anxious in social situations (possibly been made worse by Covid). How do I stop feeling stressed when I'm in social situations?