AMAA: Making Friends With Your Body
Welcome to "Ask Me Almost Anything" Send us your questions about body image, and join us for the chat!
Navigating body image isn't easy.
On one hand, we know that everything we see on social media and T.V isn't an accurate representation of how bodies always look. But, on the other hand, it's pretty hard to tune all that noise out and fully accept our reflection.
Body positivity and love get spoken about a lot, which is a good thing, but if you're struggling with your body image, you might have felt like feeling "positive" about your body is a huge mountain to climb.
It could also be the case that you think to be positive, there's a list of things you need to do to be happy with your body, which can trigger stuff like yo-yo dieting and excessive exercise. As I said - this stuff is not easy to work out.
Body neutrality is a fairly new perspective. Below is a good description from the Butterfly Foundation:
"Body Neutrality is built upon the idea that a person can exist in their body without thinking about how it looks too much. The body is just that, a body and the focus is very much on function rather than appearance. Not too much thought or energy is given to the body, it is merely a vehicle that moves you through life."
If you want to read the rest of that article, click here.
This month, @Iona-RO is our guest, and we'll be unpacking "making friends with your body". You've probably seen Iona spreading their moderator magic across the community, but here's a little bio:
"Iona has been working as a body neutral personal trainer for 8+ years and specialises in working with people who have chronic illnesses, disabilities, neurodivergencies & mental health concerns.
They are neurodivergent and have chronic illnesses themselves, so they really understand how movement can help with the above, along with the blocks that may pop up along the way. All in all, they are super passionate about supporting people of all abilities with their unique needs, to move their bodies to feel empowered, strong & proud."
Drop a question below, and Iona will answer it on the night! 👇🏽
Event Details
21 Apr 2022, 9:00 AM UTC
21 Apr 2022, 11:00 AM UTC
attending RSVPS (1)
@Iona_RO thank you so much for taking the time to share your knowledge and experience with us all. You've given me things to reflect on, and I've personally taken so much from reading your responses tonight. Thank you again, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your evening 😇
We’ve touched on some heavy topics and experiences tonight, so I’ve put together a list of support services and resources for anyone who needs it:
- Living with a chronic illness can bring about major changes and getting extra support can make a difference. Check out this list of organisations that hold support groups for people in similar situations.
- Chronic Illness Alliance provides peer support and information on their website.
- Pain Australia offers resources for people living with pain.
- SANE provides counselling and peer support for people above the age of 18 struggling with their mental health.
- Butterfly Foundation is there for people living with an eating disorder or struggling with their body image.
If you’re feeling unsafe and in need of crisis support, there is help available:
- Lifeline: 13 11 14
- Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800
Thanks @Bre-RO - it's been a pleasure!
If anyone has any other questions on this topic, or wants to add their thoughts - please feel free to leave a comment. We'd love to hear your perspectives and stories too ❤️
Have a good night all! And remember...
This is our last question for the night and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this one @Iona_RO
Can you explain more about body positivity and neutrality?
This is a question I could talk about all day! 😂 But I'll try keep it as short and simple as I can!
Body positivity is a movement that is about celebrating & loving your body regardless of how society views ideal shape, size and appearance.
Body neutrality is slightly different in that instead of focusing on loving your body, it pushes that to the side and works on having a more neutral view of your body.
Both are working at smashing down those toxic body image views we have in popular culture and you might find one sits better with you than the other, it's about what works for you.
For me I lean more on the body neutral side of the scale. Having a body with a chronic illness, I have times where loving my body is just not possible. And personally find body positivity makes me feel bad about not always loving my body. With body neutrality I can accept my body just the way it is, whether I am able to love it or not, and rest or move it to feel good 🙂
I would love to know what the community thinks about this!
Beautiful explanation, and I would also love to hear what everyone thinks about body neutrality.
Community, feel free to share your thoughts and experiences!
This one hits home for me. Such a brave and honest statement to share with the community!
I am proud of my culture and stuff but I've always wished I looked different. I've been bullied a lot because of my curly hair and darker skin. I want to embrace who I am but it's so hard
Thank you for sharing this with us. I am so sorry you've had to deal with this, it's not acceptable in any way. To be as transparent as possible, I'm white and will never fully understand what going through that is like, but I'm really glad to hear you are proud of your culture - as you should be 🙌
Society's view of 'beauty' is totally white-centric and just a load of rubbish. Your hair and your skin are, and always will be beautiful, no matter what any ignorant people say. There are so many amazing BIPOC on social media sharing their stories and journeys with their bodies that might be a positive thing for you to fill your feed with 😊 And I actually just read Sonya Renee Taylor's book 'Your Body Is Not An Apology' that delves into this topic too, a really great read if you want to check it out!
100% @Iona_RO beauty standards are so white-centric, and it can take a while to fully unpack what that means and how it impacts your life as a person of colour.
I second those suggestions and might add that it can be nice to connect with a counsellor/psychologist of the same background or one that specialises in cultural safety. That has been an important part of my journey to accepting my ethnic features 💛
Fatigue is hard on its own. I can imagine how hard it must be throwing meds into the mix.
I have always have issues with fatigue which were made worse when I was put on meds for my mental health but it seems to have gotten a lot worse recently. I am finding it so hard to push through. I am pretty high functioning and try to get on with things but I can't focus on my study and can't seem to get up to work out either. Do you have any tips for dealing with feeling bad about not doing much?
If you haven't already, I would let your GP or psychiatrist know that your meds are affecting you this way. There might be an option for you to try a different medication that could work better with your body.
As a high functioning person that has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I toootally get how frustrating it is when you need to get things done, but your body just serves you a massive NOPE. It might be an idea to adjust things a bit, so you can still do the things, but in a way your body will feel ok about. For example, if I'm having a really bad fatigue day but need to get work done - I work from bed! It allows my body to rest and be comfortable and there's no need to use valuable energy getting dressed or sitting at my desk.
The guilt of not being able to do as much as you would like is a really tough one to get past. It took me a loooong time. And I still have days now where it pops up. But remembering that there is nothing more important than your wellbeing, is key. Whatever else is going on, you are the most important thing to focus on. And if that means you need to rest or nap or have days in bed to allow your body to feel better, then that's ok 😊
I love how you've found different ways of getting work done @Iona_RO
Our society can have a limited view of productivity, and I feel like it is a major contributor to that pressure we all feel. A big theme coming out of this chat is the importance of rest and working with our body's needs.
This is such an important question and discussion for us to have tonight.
i have been stuck in a cycle of skipping meals and binge eating for years and i honestly don't know how to stop. What do i do?
Thank you for sharing your experience, like Bre has said, it's so important to talk about this side of things when it comes to body image. This is such a complex question, and although a lot of people deal with eating disorders or a stressful relationship with food, it's very unique to each person on what support is needed.
There are so many reasons why people might struggle with food - it could be an eating disorder, it could be stress, it could be related to ADHD or autism, it could be depression, it could be trauma - the list is neverending. So trying to figure out where it is stemming from for you, might be helpful. I'd recommend doing this with the support of your GP or psychologist so you have their help & advice along the way 😊
This is good advice @Iona_RO there are a bunch of reasons why people struggle with food, and being curious about that is a helpful place to start.
I hope chatting with a GP and/or psychologist helps and we're also here to listen whenever things get tough!
I'm so happy someone asked this question! Keen to hear what you think @Iona_RO
Is being super positive about working out all the time a bad thing? I feel so guilty when I don't exercise or skip a session and I jump onto social media and see all these fitness influencers telling me to 'get up and move' or that they felt like crap waking up but still trained and seized the day- it just makes me feel so much worse. Is it normal to have a crap day and not want to do anything?
It's all about balance and listening to your body as well as your brain. If you're working out all the time to the point that missing a session makes you feel really guilty - that's probably a sign you should schedule in some rest days and give yourself time to recover without any pressure. Rest is as, if not even more, important than exercise. We need to give our bodies time to recoup so we don't injure ourselves or burn out. Please enjoy those days where you don't do anything, or take it slow with some self-care activities!
In my opinion, fitness influencers need to get in the bin! 😛 They portray an unattainable, unrealistic and really toxic way of viewing 'healthy' lifestyles. I'd really recommend unfollowing them and instead following more accounts that include a diverse range of bodies and abilities. Your social media feeds should be a space that makes you feel good too!
Feeling for anybody who has struggled with their body image. It can feel like a daily battle and wear you down 😓 Thank you for putting this question out there!
How do I make friends with my body? I hate looking at myself in the mirror and hide from photos
Firstly, know that you're not alone in feeling like this, so many of us do. And know that it's not your fault you feel like this either. With so many outside sources (whether it be family members, partners, friends or social media, movies, magazines) it's so difficult not to feel like your body should look a certain way. And if it doesn't, it can make us feel really uncomfortable.
However, those sources are wrongggg, and completely unrealistic. I think one way that works for me, is when I look at my body, imagining it was a friend's body. Would you look at your friend's body and tell them they look horrible? I hope not! So don't say the same thing to yourself either. Look for the things you do love about your body. And if you're not quite at the love stage yet, start with the things you feel ok about, however small, and build from there. ❤️
