originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:27 PM

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@Donovan - RPC wrote:

what can we do if we're concerned for a friend who seems uncomfortable and afraid in their relationship?

 

It can be difficult to know what to do sometimes and sometimes we're unsure if we should even get involved but it is so often the care and support of friends, family and other caring people that helps make the difference.

Sharing your concerns without judging, listen, respect what your friend says but don't be afraid to share your thoughts on what rights you believe a person should have in a relationship.

Don't confront the partner about your concerns.  It can be unsafe for both you and your friend and may damage the trust in your relationship with your friend

Also, don't be afraid to seek help for yourself to help work through these things

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Great approach, especially the part about seeking help for yourself as the supporter of someone in an unhealthy relationship. 1800RESPECT offers support to anyone who is worried about a friend or family member who is experiencing relationship abuse.

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:26 PM

some hany info here on helping friends 

http://www.dvrcv.org.au/help-advice/guide-for-families-friends-and-neighbours

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:28 PM

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@Donovan - RPC wrote:

some hany info here on helping friends 

http://www.dvrcv.org.au/help-advice/guide-for-families-friends-and-neighbours

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what a great resource.

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:30 PM

What are ways to share this info with our communities, friends and family?

Keep talking about this, the more we talk about this the less it becomes a secret issue or a personal problem. 

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:25 PM

As we know, addressing inequalities can help promote healthy relationships .

What are ways to share this info with our communities, friends and family?

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:37 PM

What are ways to share this info with our communities, friends and family?

Great point.  Talk about it whenever it comes up I reckon  Relationships are part of most of our lives and it comes up in many of our conversations.  Share your view that people deserve to be treated as equals in relationships.  Share your concerns over the levels of violent and abusive relationships that still happen in our society.

If you hear attitudes that contribute to abusive relationships, particularly attitudes around men having a right to power or contol over women, challenge these.  This is what has helped us challenge the issue of domestic violence in the past and it still works just as well today 

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:31 PM

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@ruenhonx wrote:

As we know, addressing inequalities can help promote healthy relationships .

What are ways to share this info with our communities, friends and family?

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I think it's so important to challenge gender inequities whenever we see them.

 

I'm alsoreally inspired by the capacity of people to work together on social media to expose sexism - like the whole take down julien blanc campaign.

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:33 PM

Also programs like Respect Protect Connect should be mandatory for all high school students!

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:30 PM

What are ways to share this info with our communities, friends and family?

 

Back home, there is a flyer on the back of cubicle doors in the women's bathroom at the service's club that has what constitutes as abuse and where to get help locally. I think this should be implemented everywhere instead of stupid adverts.

 

Have conversations with family and friends. I know that my friends know more of the signs from talking to me about abusive relationships.

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:38 PM

For any further reading & info you can browse our relationships section, as well as relationship abuse.

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:40 PM

Great summary Ruenhonx! Thanks so much to Donovan for coming along tonight - it's been great to have your perspective on things.

And most of all - thanks to all of you for coming along tonight!

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:35 PM

Though I do think that more should be done to teach guys not to be abusive, more than we teach females to avoid being abused.

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:37 PM

Thank you all for contributing tonight 🙂 and let's keep this conversation going and keep talking about this. Here is the summary: 

 

1. It is human nature to want closeness and connections and we realise this early on that we need others to survive. Relationships help us learn, grow and develop and thrive.
2. We learn from our parents, our families and teachers at first and then we learn from our friends and the media as we age. This also means we learn the good and bad behaviours as well which means we repeat their mistakes and find ourselves in unhealthy relationships.
3. Some of the issues were emotional, mental, verbal, physical abuse, wanting different things in life, overly controlling partner as well as trust issues which all lead to a lack of respect.
4. Having mutual respect on your partner’s view, giving each other a chance to talk, not using power over the other, avoid blame and finding ways to resolve or compromise in a respectful manner. Most importantly acknowledge your love and respect for each other.
5. Some warning signs could be feeling like you are walking on glass, feeling overpowered, like everything you do is wrong, feeling insecure. Your partner could be controlling, overly jealous, name calling or saying mean things and manipulative.
6. Show them the power & control wheel, encourage them to seek support, be there for them, notice the signs, listen and don’t judge them, this will keep the lines of communication open. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts about their rights in the relationship but do not confront the partner and also don’t be afraid to seek help for yourself to help work through this. 1800RESPECT is a great service for that.
7. Flyers put everywhere about what abuse is, keep talking about the issue, challenge gender inequalities whenever we see them, use social media to expose these issues and education programs like Respect, Protect, Connect should be mandatory for all students.

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:41 PM

thanks for a great infobus everybody sorry I didn't really participate, good to read what everyone else had to say 🙂

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:42 PM

@j95 we always love having you and you did participate. Don't sell yourself short. 🙂
Take care

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:42 PM

Thanks for being here @j95 !

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:40 PM

Thank you for inviting me along tonight, its been great to be involved in all this wonderful discussion!

I want to add a quick link to this excellent site which I think is a great source of info on relatiosnhips

http://lovegoodbadugly.com/category/love-control/

 

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:41 PM

You can also check out RPC on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Respect.Protect.Connect if you like.

Bye all!

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:42 PM

Bye all - good night!

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:34 PM

Love that idea @stonepixie - such a perfect way to get the infomation to people in a safe way where they have time to comprehend it. Even if it just plants a seed.

originally posted on 11-12-2014 10:09 PM

See ya safari!