How Do You Manage Living in 2 Homes
Hi guys, the reason I've been AWOL for a few months is that my partner and I have been busy moving from the city to the country.
Because I'm on a contract and have projects to finish at work, I'm still working in the city during the week (staying at my mum's) and heading back to be with my partner on the weekends.
It's becoming a major drag and made me feel a lot of sympathy towards kids who have split parents and live at two homes. I'm 24 and find it a challenge.
So anyone with any tips or experience they want to share on how to get through living in two homes, please comment. I'd love to know what helps and how to mentally get through it.
TIA
Comments
The plan is to not do this country/city split for too much longer. I just had a job interview in the country which if I get, will make things a lot easier so I'm crossing my fingers they liked me enough.
Getting my partner to visit more would be great but we have a dog and I really don't like to move her around too much, plus my partner doesn't want to stay at my mum's place for no real reason. But it's definitely a possible alternative.
And as for self-care, I've started colouring occasionally when I start to get down about it and that helps sometimes. Haven't really got much else - I guess I call my partner too.
@Ben-RO thanks for sharing your story with us. Three months doesn't sound like much in the scheme of things, but doing the split myself now, I can totally appreciate how tough that must have been on you. Great tips. I've got the duplicates of toothbrushes, etc. Would go insane without them. It's hassle enough just transporting laundry there and back.
And podcasts are my saviour right now. They make the trips SO much easier. Like you, I do look forward to them now.
I did actually take a day off last week and it was enormously helpful. Had to go to the doc to get a certificate and when I started explaining it surprised me how emotional I got about it - I guess I didn't want to admit how tough I'm finding it. She was really supportive thankfully.
I'll bear in mind @Ben-RO that it can be done because my friend Ben has done it too.
Thanks for the support both of you.
Hey @StarLord, sorry for the delayed reply! I don't have much (really any) experience living in two homes so I wasn't sure about jumping in here, but first off I want to say well done for being able to manage that situation at all! It sounds really intense and tiring.
How long will you be moving between the two places for?
Could you maybe try going to the country every two weekends, to give yourself a break in between, with your partner coming up to the city instead? I'm not sure if this would be plausible given the situation, just trying to think of some suggestions 
Do you have comfort items or self-care routines that you can do in each of the homes? It might be helpful to have a distinct way to unwind in each place?
Sending you lots of support!
Hey @StarLord I did a lot of travel between cities for about 3 months a couple of years ago. I found a couple of things that were helpful.
Have a "go bag": Basically keep a bag with all the important things that you can't do without in it. This shouldn't just be stuff like toothbrushes and things like that, it should also include things like a nice pillow, a book you're keen to dig into (or a kindle if you're like me), photo of your partner, tasty tea, knitting supplies (or whatever hobby you're into). It can be a nice way to help you have a bit of continuity between places.
Have two of everything: so like two sets of toothbrushes, hairbrush etc, leave them where you're staying so that you can land on your feet when you get to where you're going.
Learn something on the trips: I smashed through audiobooks, podcasts and a spanish language course on the long drives between towns, i started looking forward to the trips because suddenly they were super entertaining 😄
Have days off: this one's pretty self-explanatory i think, but try and land the day off in the place where you need it most. Days off do not mean days where you catch up on housework, bill paying or other life admin for the whole day.
