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Kids calling people gay and putting them down with bad words.

Iv'e found most kids call other children names and putting them down without reason. Also the word gay is used frequently, though the other persons gender is not gay. Some kids are gay and when they're called gay it seems to really affect them. Can someone please explain why they do this as i find it confusing, i know that they do it to hurt them. But why would you want to make someone else hurt?

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Re: Kids calling people gay and putting them down with bad words.

@Narcotial it's weird.. 

 

I know that when I hear someone use "gay" as an insult, (or worse words I won't repeat here) it hurts because it reminds me that I'm still considered to be "bad" by some people. It tells me I'm not safe to be myself around them.

 

As for why they do it..

Some people mean it as a friendly joke, even if it doesn't turn out that way.

Some people do it to try to put themselves above that person in whatever social group they're in (basically they feel like bringing someone down brings them up somehow)

Some people are homophobic and want to other someone for being gay (I don't know why they do it, but I wish they'd stop)

And some people.. do just want to be horrible. Maybe they see it as revenge. Maybe they see it as having power. I don't know.

 

But yeah... it is confusing. I don't fully get it either, this is just what I've noticed.

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Re: Kids calling people gay and putting them down with bad words.

@Narcotial thanks for posting, it's great that you are doing some reflection and asking these important questions.

 

There are many reasons why some people want to make others hurt. Often it's not personal, and those people are hurting. They might not be able to deal with their own hurt. It's important to have compassion for these people (treat them nicely, don't be mean back to them, try and educate them if you can). But don't indulge or tolerate their behaviour- reach out to their targets and see if they are are ok, and if you can help.

@Tiny_leaf has some great points too.

 

Let us know if the situation gets better Smiley Happy

 

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Re: Kids calling people gay and putting them down with bad words.

Hey @Narcotial , 

 

It kind of blows my mind that 'gay' is still used as an insult by kids, and I think @Tiny_leaf  and @Tay100  have really nailed it with reasons why people might throw those sorts of things around. Standing up for people and reminding people that it's really not okay to use 'gay' as an insult is a great way to go about it, it may also be something that kids say without ever really taking the time to reflect on why they are actually saying it. So hopefully calling them out a bit for it may actually make them question why they are saying those things. I think it's really great that you're taking time to think about these things and ask those questions.

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Re: Kids calling people gay and putting them down with bad words.

I feel the same way when I hear someone say "gay" as an insult @Tiny_leaf

I think @Janine-RO's and @Tay100 's suggestions of standing up to people who do this and checking in on people who might have been affected are great! You never know just how much that could mean to someone, in the moment or even sometime down the track. I think it's important to check in with yourself too. This kind of stuff can stir up quite a bit of anger and other unpleasant feelings, so you've gotta give yourself some care to bring those back down to a point where you're okay every now and then. So, good on you for talking about it here Smiley Wink

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Re: Kids calling people gay and putting them down with bad words.

One surprising thing that I have found is that sometimes kids don't realise how much their words can hurt. They hear the word somewhere, and they repeat it back because that's what they have learned. (I have read somewhere that young brains are not biologically able to fully evaluate their actions until adulthood, but I could be wrong). I'm with everyone on how baffling it is that the word gay is still used as an insult; and although many parents and kids these days are doing a great job at educating ourselves to be more open and kind, I hope some of the not-so-nice kids will grow up to realise how important being nice is.

 

And a bit off topic, but the fact that you find it confusing how people want to hurt other people shows that you're a person with a great heart Heart

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Re: Kids calling people gay and putting them down with bad words.

Hi @Narcotial !

 

I think some kids do this because they project their own insecurities onto others. They might also think its funny to put down others, and then other kids just pile on because they think it's cool and want to fit it. Additionally, social media made it a lot easier to be exposed to various influences and kids are just changing so fast, but sadly I think this kind of behavior will always be around kids. 

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Re: Kids calling people gay and putting them down with bad words.

Hey Narcotial! Yeah I've noticed that a lot too, I'm in highschool and I find it's a thing that happens a lot! I'm pan, but I've sort of just learned to ignore it, it's sort of like swearing, and you can't stop people swearing (at least not at the school I'm at) so you learn to live with it. But yeah, I've struggled with it in the past, I don't know why people do it, it doesn't seem to have a purpose. Like Anzelmo said, I think it might be something to project insecurities? I don't know. Sorry, that wasn't much help, but it was an interesting and completely valid point, so... yeah.
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Re: Kids calling people gay and putting them down with bad words.

Yeah I notice that and i honestly hate it. My best friends are bi and lesbian and they get offended when people say it as a slur. At my school it doesnt seem to be said much in a malicious way, but more of a joke and insut, which it should not be used for at all. I try and correct peoples language when they say stuff like that. Like I might go "that can be offfensiev to some people so maybe find another worfd

 

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Re: Kids calling people gay and putting them down with bad words.

That's really good of you to correct people when they are being insensitive, or rude @Brian6787 . It can be really hard to stand up to people sometimes, so you've been really brave to do so Smiley Happy