Feeling sad after vacations
I feel really sad after my vacations and I don't know why.
I had gone back to my grandparents house because my grandfather was unwell. Everyone from my extended family was there, especially my cousins. I hadn't seen them face to face in 5 years ever since COVID hit so I was so excited. This is during the holidays btw.
We had a lot of fun together. We roamed around and stayed up late like we used to. I felt really happy after a long time.
Now I'm back and school holidays are almost over and I feel so sad, overwhelmed, stressed, basically a lot of negative emotions.
I miss my cousins a lot. They're both in university and I'm nearing the end of highschool so we were closer than ever even after so long. But ever since I've been back, I've been feeling so empty inside. I could finally talk to people and be truly happy after a long time and now without them everything just seems so dead. I've been grinding on my holiday homework as that is due very soon.
But at night I feel so lonely. We all used to sleep in one bed as there wasn't that much space and we talked a lot. But now I feel very lonely. I cry a lot as well.
I tried talking to my mum about it and she just brushes it off. She gets mad instead saying that I need to focus on my studies and that I'm being sidetracked by them. Then she starts going on about how I don't care for her and how I'm just hiding in my room all day. but I just feel so dead and empty inside and I don't want to sit with my parents because that's when the criticism starts. When I tell my mother something, she tells my father and then they confront me about it so now I don't even want to say anything anymore so I've returned here.
I still contact them but because of the time difference it doesn't really work out all the time.
I want to talk to them more but then I just feel like a nag. They all have their own lives and I feel like I would just be annoying them but I miss them a lot. Maybe I'm just losing my mind. I think once school starts and I start meeting people again that it'll get better but I don't know. I don't really like school that much either. I guess its just that I've met people that understand me after so long that without them, it feels like there's a void in my heart or something.
Also, the stress of sacs and the missed tests that I didn't do because I left early are also stressing me out. I wake up late and sleep late and I just start hating myself more.
I can also barely sleep at night, be it the jet lag or the constant loneliness I feel.
I don't know how to end this so...the end?
Comments
Hi @idk_Sakamoto 
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It sounds like you had such a wonderful time with your family, and coming back to your regular routine must feel really tough right now. It’s completely natural to feel sad and even overwhelmed after such a meaningful and joyful experience, especially when it was filled with so much love and connection!
You’ve been through a lot emotionally, from the joy of reconnecting with your family to the stress of returning to school and daily responsibilities. It’s okay to feel this way; your emotions are valid. Missing your cousins and the warmth you shared with them is understandable.
In the meantime, it might help to set small, achievable goals for yourself each day to gradually adjust back to your routine. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as focusing on your studies. Can you find moments of joy or connection in your daily life, even if it’s something small like a hobby you enjoy or a brief chat with a friend?
If school is feeling overwhelming, try breaking tasks into smaller steps and tackling them one at a time. Sometimes, focusing on just the next step can make things feel more manageable.
Please be kind to yourself. It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. Things will get better with time, and you’re stronger than you think!
Hey there @idk_Sakamoto 
I understand that you are currently feeling an extreme amount of loneliness, stress, and overwhelmed feelings. Especially based on your post, it seems that it is taking a toll on your physical and mental health.
While being around and hanging with the people that are comfortable to be with is amazing, our body and brain takes it hard when the pleasure and joy suddenly stop. While we can't stop you in stopping the feeling of loneliness, have you thought of ways to combat the loneliness such as contacting your cousins to still have some kind of communication?
idk_Sakamoto, I can assure you that you are not a nag. Everyone has their problems and that there are different ways in solving it, and talking to others is one of the many methods.
Also, as you have mentioned on a time difference on communicating with your parents and sending your message to your mum then by word of mouth communicating to your dad, it may cause the original meaning of what you wanted to say have a different meaning due to your mum's biases or opinion added into it. Have you considered talking face to face with both parents about your problems?
I hope this can help you, but if you need any more help. Feel free to talk to us here.
Hi @idk_Sakamoto ,
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with overwhelming feelings of loneliness after returning home from vacation. It sounds like while you were away you were able to reunite with some members of your extended family and spend good quality time rekindling meaningful connections. It is truly a gift to have people are you that bring happiness and belonging.
It is completely normal to experience the feelings of sadness, stress and the other negative emotions you described when returning back to your routine and daily responsibilities. Our bodies get so used to all the excitement, fun, and joy of being on holiday and being surrounded by people we love that coming back to reality can be a bit of a shock to the system. Additionally, being in such close contact with your cousins would have increased the strength of those bonds and provided you with a sense of safety and comfort that you feel is missing right now. Attachment is a very strong part of human existence and it can sometimes feel like we have lost those relationships completely when we have to leave but the truth is they are still there, just in a different form.
I have no doubt that you are not a nag to your family, staying in contact while you are distant from each other is a great way to maintain connections until you can see those people in real life again. Living in different locations and time zones is certainly a barrier that has to be factored in when scheduling calls but I am sure if you can speak with them about figuring out a suitable time for all of you to call/FaceTime each other it will make scheduling more seamless and less stressful for everyone.
As for the criticism from your parents, I can imagine how difficult and emotionally draining that would be to feel like they are not understanding or supporting you. It was a really positive step for you to try and communicate openly with them but unfortunately sometimes people can struggle to see your point of view if they are not aware of other contributing factors such as school stress, exams and current emotional state. You are certainly right in that school starting will provide a good opportunity to build some new friends that can be there to support you, listen to you and offer a sense of companionship which is a key component you feel is missing at the moment. Although it can be daunting reaching out to people out of fear of rejection or judgement, you sometimes have to put yourself in a vulnerable place to develop those friendships with other people.
I can hear that your feelings of loneliness at the moment are causing a lot of distress and difficult emotions for you but I hope you can find the confidence to reach out to others and make new connections, Although things may seem overwhelming and challenging at the moment, hard times do pass and they make you stronger and more resilient in the future. Lack of sleep can be as a result of many things and I hope that if you can be more compassionate and gentle with yourself you will be able to restore more restful sleeping patterns and be in a better frame of mind to develop strong connections with new friends and maintain relationships with your existing friends and family members 💛
Thank you so much @SmilingSeahorse for your reply 🙂
Yep, I definitely have been overwhelmed and the lack of sleep I am getting is most likely making it worse.
Thank you so much for your comforting words, they really make the difference. 🙂
Once school starts, I reckon everything will get better.
Hi @idk_Sakamoto,
I want to start by thanking you for your post 🙂 posting can be a very challenging thing to do and I want to commend you on the strength you have shown - the community is here to support you on this journey.
from what I have read I can see that your family means so much to you and it's really amazing to hear that you've been able to spend some quality time with them after so many years, I'm sure they are as equally as sad that it's over 🙂
It sounds like you were able to have some really meaningful conversations while you were on your holiday and that's really special to hear. It is understandable to feel very low and sad after having such a beautiful and connecting time with family and I want you to know that it's ok, you're only human. It can take time to readjust to life and all the priorities you have in it and it is important that you take that readjustment at your own pace, prioritising yourself and practising any self-care that supports you. It's ok to feel low.
I'm sorry to hear that you've had trouble trying to connect and communicate with your mother, i can imagine that this can also contribute to feeling lonely. I'm wondering what other support you might feel comfortable connecting with, this could be another family member, friend, or even a professional such as a counsellor? i also wanted to provide you with this collection of articles ReachOut has on Isolation and Loneliness which might like to read over.
I wish you all the best and i want you to know that the community is a safe place and we are here to support you 🙂
Hope to hear from you soon.
Thank you @Zig_RO for your response 🙂
Yep, after meeting them for so long it was quite a shock to come back home and be alone again. Thank you for your advice. I will be practising self-care that helps me deal with these feelings.
In terms of support, I think I'll just use the online community as a space where I can share my feelings. I feel like my emotions are the most understood here 🙂
Thank you again
