I need advise
Hey guys, so my mother recently found out… well forced me to talk about what had happened in my therapy session. This lead to her finding out about my assault when I was 6.
Now she won’t stop asking me questions, crying and making it about herself, although I have continuously told her that I don’t want to talk about it. What do I do?
Comments
@Geode I'm so sorry that your mother forced you to discuss the content of your therapy session with her. Therapy is supposed to be confidential, and it is not ok for someone to continually ask about it like that. I hope you've been holding up okay 💛
I think the overall damage has been done by her initially finding out. I think the best thing to do from here would be to set some boundaries, maybe telling her that therapy is supposed to be confidential and that you have support to work out these issues with a therapist so you do not need to discuss these things with her.
It could also be a good idea to bring this up in your next session if this is causing distress to you.
Please look after yourself in this time and practice some self-care 💛
Hi @Geode
I am proud of you for coming on here and sharing what has been happening for you, it sounds like a really difficult and overwhelming situation. Hopefully, what @Marimo-RO @LilacLeopard14 has said, and what others and I will say, might help you or provide you with some support, comfort, and validation.
You have every right to decide what you are and are not comfortable discussing, regardless of who it is. I am so sorry that your mother has forced you to talk about what happened in your therapy session, and it saddens me immensely that she continues to question you about it and is making your trauma about herself. I do not blame you at all for not knowing how to navigate this situation, and it really sounds overwhelming.
Everyone deserves privacy and respect and for our boundaries to be respected.
Setting boundaries/limits can be hard, but they are so important. It can feel exhausting having to reiterate your boundaries, especially when your mother, for example, keeps asking questions. I understand that you have already tried telling her multiple times that you do not want to talk about it, and it sounds like she is very persistent. I've had a similar experience, and I found that I had to be just as persistent in not telling the other person anything and upholding my boundaries.
I do recommend the PeerChat, Beyond Blue and Kids Helpline services; they could provide further support for you in this situation. Maybe you could also bring this situation up in your next therapy session. I'm also curious to know what coping mechanisms do you have in place, if any? I'm more than happy to provide you with some examples if you would like, these could really help during this time.
In the meantime, it's really important that you take care of yourself and prioritize your own emotional/physical/mental/spiritual well-being. So please, if you can this afternoon/tonight, dedicate some time to yourself, whether that's having a hot shower and letting the hot water go down your back, or going for a walk and counting how many birds or flowers you see, or even eating your favourite snack; these can be very fulfilling and healing.
I hope what I have written helps you a little bit; we're all here for you!
- Matcha_Toad 🐸🍵💚
Hey @Geode 💚
I am so sorry to hear that you have been forced to reveal personal details of your therapy session. It is extremely unfair, and you are completely valid in communicating that you do not want to speak about it.
I imagine it would be very hard information for her to hear, but you also deserve to have your boundaries respected. Your mother making it about herself is not okay, and would likely be very hurtful to you, so I am sorry. @Marimo-RO has shared some great advice, please take all the time you need and and if you don’t feel ready to talk to her about this for a while, that’s okay - don't feel like you owe her an explanation.
I am here if ever you want to talk more, sending lots of love and strength 🫶🏻
Hi @Geode
Welcome to the ReachOut Youth Community! Thank you for your courage in sharing what's been going on for you. I'm sorry to see that you have been pressured to share details of your therapy session. It can be violating to feel forced to disclose personal experiences especially traumatic experiences. I want to let you know that it's not okay for your mother to force you to talk about what you've discussed with your therapist.
It is also sad to hear that your mother is making such a horrific experience about herself and continuing to overstep boundaries. I'm wondering if you have any supports for yourself at the moment?
If you are seeking direct one-on-one support, we have a PeerChat service where you can talk with a peer worker who may have had a similar experience. Alternatively, both Beyond Blue and Kids Helpline can offer free 24/7 counselling support over the phone or online.
I'm glad to see that you are holding a boundary for yourself and telling your mother that you don't want to talk about it right now. It's okay to take your time and talk about such a heavy experience in your own time, when you're ready. We have some articles here that may be helpful to you. Here's one on how to get your parents to listen to you and one on how to tackle difficult conversations.
We will also be sending you an email. Please keep an eye out for it!
