Mums mad at me / school stress
Hey,
I'm alright just feeling a bit stressed about school work and when I tried to talk to my mum about it she got mad and now she won't talk to me.
Right now I'm feeling stressed and anxious because I procrastinated my work over the long weekend 🙃 and now I'm kind of cramming on a Sunday night. I have two tests tomorrow and a notes audit as well as other organisational things I want to do so the rest of my week is organised.
When I tried to tell mum that I was feeling overwhelmed and wanted to talk to her about... i don't know what happened. One moment it was fine and then she was raising her voice demanding to know if she needed to talk to my teacher or the school or something for giving me too much work. Mum can dramatise or jump to exaggerated conclusions and it always makes me feel uncomfortable when she does because that's not what I want her to do and when I try to say that, she gets upset and asks what I want her to do.
I told her that it wasn't the school and that I needed help organising my time over the weekend and she asked (angrily) why i waited until Sunday night to ask for help. By now I didn't want to continue talking about it because she wasn't helping, she was making me feel worse about myself.
Overall, I'm feeling pretty stressed, especially about the notes audit as I'm really behind and don't want to get in trouble or given extra work, and now mums upset with me because I tried to ask her for help, which has made me feel worse. I don't really want to go to mum for help again so now feel isolated and stuck without options for support. (Dad will arrive later in the week).
Mum also kept pushing me to explain why I couldn't find time on the long weekend to work and, aside from 4 hours each way to get to and from "real" home and where school is, looking after animals, which I love doing, and having a break from school and doing the jobs mum asked me to do, I didn't find the time/motivation to sit down for 3-5 hours or longer.
I'm struggling a lot with procrastination over the weekend and at home, making easy tasks take longer than they should be and finding starting difficult tasks demotivating. Going to mum for support backfired and now I don't know where else to get school related support.
I'm not too sure what I should do from now on and was wondering if anyone had any tips?
Comments
Hey,
Apologies it's a bit late response, but I still want to offer some support.😊
I’m really sorry you’re going through this—it sounds incredibly stressful. Balancing school work, dealing with procrastination, and managing a tough conversation with your mum is a lot to handle. 😔
Here are a few things that might help:
Break Down Tasks: Since you’re feeling overwhelmed with the workload, try breaking down your tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks. For example, set specific goals for each hour instead of looking at everything at once. 📚🕒
Create a Schedule: Even though it’s last minute, creating a rough schedule for the rest of your night if these situations come up in future might help you feel more organized. Allocate time for each subject and include short breaks to avoid burnout. 📅✏️
Seek Alternative Support: Since talking to your mum didn’t go as planned, consider reaching out to a teacher, school counselor, or a trusted friend for help with organizing your work. They might be able to offer some practical advice or support. 🤝
Reflect on Procrastination: Understanding why you procrastinated might help you address it better. Were there specific reasons or obstacles? Sometimes identifying these can make it easier to find solutions. 🔍
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Everyone struggles with procrastination and overwhelming tasks from time to time. Acknowledge your efforts and give yourself credit for trying to manage everything. 💪❤️
Plan for Next Time: Think about what you could do differently in the future to prevent this kind of stress. Maybe setting up a study routine or breaking up tasks over time could help. 🗓️
It’s tough when family dynamics add to your stress, but remember that it’s okay to seek help from other sources and focus on what you can control. You’ve got this, and taking small steps towards managing your workload can make a big difference. 😊
Hi @Lemon_Fox
Thank you for sharing that with the community and reaching out for support. I can feel your stress and that overwhelming feeling you get when things start to pile up. I struggle with procrastination as well because I tend to overthink things, so you are not alone!
I am really sorry to hear about your mum's reaction to you communicating that you need her support. When you are feeling stressed, the last thing you want is for your loved one to start having a go at you, even if they don't really mean it. You did the right thing by asking her for support and talking to her even if it didn't go so well. I want you to know that these things happen to all of us, either for work, uni or school, so don't feel bad about yourself; we are only humans figuring things out every day.
Have you seen your school counsellor or wellbeing officer before? I suggest you start there. They are linked to your school and can help you through this.
In terms of studying and coping through school, Headspace offers free 1-1 work and study support, which can help you in the future. I have used them previously to help me through my university, and it was great support!
Additionally, Reach Out has some great blog articles on study and school stress. I will link some that I think are relevant below for you to have a look at. Remember, take what resonates.
Nailing your study-life balance
How to manage your time while studying
I hope these tips gave you some ideas and helped you a bit. We are always here to support you and help you take each day slowly.
Let me know your thoughts, and I look forward to hearing from you soon. Be safe, and take care💜😊
Hi @Lemon_Fox
School can be incredibly demanding, as not only are you spending hours at school learning, you are expected to consolidate this knowledge for hours after you come home. On top of this you are trying to balance your personal and social life. I am proud that you have acknowledged your tendency to procrastinate on tasks and are looking for ways to improve this. I am also sorry to hear that your attempt to seek help from your mum only added to your distress and made you feel worse about your current situation. The ReachOut community is here to support you 🤗
@Indigo_Lemur made an amazing post about procrastination and tips which you can find here How to Overcome Procrastination!
I am wondering how you've been holding up this past week? Looking forward to hearing from you 🤗
Hey @Lemon_Fox,
I want to start off by saying welcome back to ReachOut! I am glad to hear from you again. I can see that you’ve got quite a bit of work to do which you procrastinated doing, that’s made you feel stressed. It also sounds like you’ve also tried to seek support from your mum who made you feel worse. How you’re feeling is really understandable and relatable, and you’re absolutely not alone! I would also like to take this opportunity to acknowledge the effort you have made to reach out to your mum, despite her response. Asking for support or help can be really difficult for so many young people, so you should be really proud of yourself!
We all procrastinate in one way or another, which can be really frustrating when we need to get stuff done. I can hear that it’s made you stressed as you have had to cram everything into one night, and also have tests to look forward to the following day. I am interested to know if you have felt this way before with school and procrastinating? If so, what was helpful for you in managing these feelings and stressors? I’d also like to share with you a topic on Setting Goals which includes a number of articles that you might find useful. A few that stand out to me are Motivation Boosters, Getting Stuff Done, and Prioritising Stuff.
I can hear that your mum also wasn’t very receptive to you when seeking support from here. This is hurtful and can be frustrating when you’re going through a tough time. ReachOut has an article that includes 5 Ways to Get Your Parents to Listen to You which you might find helpful. There might be some information in this article that can help you get your mum to really listen to what you’re saying.
Sometimes speaking to the school counsellor at school about how you’re feeling and what you’re going through can be helpful. Would you feel comfortable reaching out to your school counsellor to talk about this? If you are ever seeking more immediate support, I encourage you to connect with Kids Helpline who offer free 24/7 phone and online counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25. I am also curious to know if you have done any self-care to make you feel better after all of this stress?
I hope this is helpful for you and look forward to hearing from you soon!
Hey!
Sorry for the late reply; the past week was pretty good and me and mum are fine now. All of your advice has been super helpful and I hope to sue it for the future.
About the school counselor, I've seen her before for friendship issues in the past but I'm a bit hesitant now because I feel like my stress only lasts a short window that passes in time. Also, my mum works at the school and sometimes with the counselor and I feel a bit uncomfortable with that, especially if I wanted to talk to her about stuff at home.
For the future, I'm hoping to be more organised to manage my workload but I still feel like I'm limping to each weekend and then to the holidays and finding it difficult to enjoy school at each day.
Thank you all for your help!
Hi @Lemon_Fox
I'm so sorry that your mum behaved in a way that made you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed and a bit stuck on where to turn to. I feel as though that situation could've been handled with a little more empathy for you, as you are struggling with all of these tasks at the same time and are seeking some comfort and help. My mother used to do the same and it felt frustrating not being listened to and properly emotionally held in that moment.
Do you have any friends or other family members you can perhaps send a text and ask to talk with about these stressful things? Or maybe a teacher or a school counsellor?
Hi @Lemon_Fox
Sorry to hear you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, balancing school and life can be tricky, especially over a long weekend when you also want to rest.
When I find it extra difficult to find the motivation to study, sometimes for me that is a sign that I have not been having enough of a break and am getting burnt out. Hopefully the time with the animals at home was a good little break. Have you got some regular felt care activities that you do to recharge? This could help get your motivation back and make it a little easier to study.
its also tricky that you reached out to your mum and she didn’t listen to what you need. My mum has done that to me before and it can be really frustrating to feel like you’re not being listened to, even if they are trying to help. It could be helpful to talk to other people in your class to hear about what strategies they are using, or even just to bond over how tricky it can be to stay on top of things!
Make sure you take care of yourself, and good luck with the tests. You’ve got this!!
Hi @Lemon_Fox , 🌻
I’m really sorry to hear that you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed with school work. It can be really tough when you are trying to manage everything on your own especially when you might be feeling isolated without the support you need. It does sound like you are trying your best to keep on top of things even though you are having a hard time.
It is completely understandable that you have wanted to speak to your mum about this but it can be really hard when conversations might not go as planned. I just want to say that it is okay to feel overwhelmed in these situations and you are allowed to ask for help.
If you don’t mind me asking, do you have anyone you could ask for support? Maybe this is a teacher or a friend who you trust. Sometimes asking for someone else’s perspective can be really helpful and make us feel less alone.
Thank you so much for reaching out to this community. You are doing great! If you would like to talk more, we are here for you. You’ve got this! 🌟
