My Aunty and my cats
Hello!
My Aunty recently came into my life for the first time in 7 years.
Since then so many red flags have shot up. She ghosted my mum, took my dad's phone from his hands and sent my mum a message saying he can't pay child support anymore, and getting in my dad's head telling him me and my brother aren't safe with my mum (we are safe, our home is fine, we just fight sometimes)
After that I tried to still understand her for some reason, she's so much different than you'd imagine when you meet her, her perfume smells delicious and she's always laughing and making you tea. She got in my head and told me she can help me (recently I've been unemployed and I fight with my mum a lot about money, she threatened to have me live somewhere else a few times), I have two cats that my mum had been insisting I get rid of, and since being unemployed I've been struggling looking after all three of us and dept collectors are on me for a vet bill I haven't been paying, I wouldn't be home and I'd suddenly be getting these long paragraphs from her about how she'll take them to the RSPCA the next day if I haven't sorted something out, so in the end my Aunty offered to help and I took it because there really wasn't anything else I could do. She was supposed to look after them until I find a foster home or move out.
I get a call from her the day she took them and generously she had taken them to the vet because one of my cats had been limping, In the call she tells me both my cats are 'very malnourished' and very unwell. No she never specified what she meant about my cats being 'unwell' she told me the vet couldn't even find out because they were so 'sick' at this point I'm devastated because I saw my cats a few hours before that and they have been fine, yes, one of them managed to get out like a week before that and he came back with a limp and grazed paw pads, but my mum's partner whose from animal welfare had a look at him and said he's fine and to let him rest. One of them already had been to the vet a month before and had a blood test done and the vet said he was healthy
She ignores a text from me a couple days after this asking what time would be okay for me to see them
Days later she sends me a picture of one of my cats, she said he's doing okay and that they will both now be called different names
I was a bit shocked by this, she also gave them the names 'Megatron' and 'Nut'?? The names they've had for their whole lives are Elliot and Rudey- the names I have them, as babies 😞
This really hurts me but trying to be hopeful that maybe she just meant nicknames I ignored it.
A few more days later and I text her again asking to see them and she responds with a giant paragraph saying I will never have them back again and that they've been 'starved out' and 'neglected' this was genuinely shattering to hear. I love my cats with all my heart and for this to come from someone who said she loved me and missed me and she wishes she kept in touch, she insisted she'd keep the cats safe until I move out eventually but now she's put her foot down and just said 'no' about my own animals? I know this is all a lot, I keep trying to shorten this- I've just had the most depressed hopeless feeling few days after this has happened and I can't keep going on like I'm fine and it's nothing because it's not. I feel so betrayed and I don't know what to even do. Anyways, if anyone's reading this please please give any advice you may have, I'm really stuck and don't know what to do. ily :] 🩷
Comments
Hi @Waffles 🩵
I am so sorry to hear about your recent situation with your family. It seems like there are many tricky things going on, so I can see how it would be difficult to cope.
Given that your Aunty has recently come into your life, it is understandable that you would want to reconnect and let her help you during this time. I am sorry that she has turned around and hurt you, it is completely unfair and you are so valid in feeling betrayed. Not only is it stressful that she has your cats, I would imagine that being hurt by someone you thought you could trust would be equally saddening. You are not alone in having family troubles, and we are all here for you.
I agree with everyone else, if you feel like you can talk to your mum about this, it may be good to get her advice and let her help. If not, thinking of another trusted person to help may benefit you. You shouldn't have to deal with such a stressful situation on your own.
I wish I had more specific advice for you. All I can say is please stay strong and do what you can to get your babies back ! 🙏
sending love ❤️
Thank you @LilacLeopard14 🩷🩷
It's so good just to get some validation on how I'm feeling at the moment 🥰
Thank you for your love and support I hope you have a great week ❤️
Hi @Waffles , welcome to the ReachOut community! It’s so lovely to have you here 😊
Thank you for sharing your situation with us. It’s really upsetting to hear what you’re going through right now 😞. You clearly love your cats very much, and it sounds incredibly painful and confusing to have trusted your aunt to look after them, only for you to feel betrayed by her actions. Your feelings of devastation and hopelessness are completely understandable!
I’m wondering whether you’ve told anyone in your life about what you’re going through? Or if there is anyone you can think of who may be able to help you navigate this situation with your aunt?
Your cats have clearly been a great source of comfort for you. With them no longer living with you, do you have anything else that brings you a sense of comfort at home? Are there any coping strategies or activities that provide you relief when feeling down, even if it's just a little bit?
I’m also curious to hear how things with your mum have been since the cats have moved out of your home.
You also mentioned that you’ve been struggling with money since being unemployed, and I think it's pretty common for this to put a strain on relationships with parents and your own well-being. I wanted to share two articles we have on coping with financial stress and unemployment stress which I hope you find helpful.
Thank you again for reaching out and sharing your situation with us. The ReachOut community is here for you 💛
Thank you for your response :] 🩷
My dad is easily influenced and a bit too trusting with people but I've kept him well informed about everything that's going on and as someone who loves animals as well he seems to really sympathise with me and wants to do whatever he can to help, I guess the thing is now I just don't know what we really can do. After hearing stories from other family members now it sounds like she's a much scarier women than I knew when I invited her into my life, and she's really screwed over a lot of people before even stealing and the police had to get involved.
I usually like to paint and draw but I guess I haven't really felt that creative flow so I've been going on walks and trying to be in nature a lot recently which can help but I guess it just sucks when you have to go home after a nice walk.
Things at home are feeling a lot of less pressure at the moment, my mum's actually hasn't been bringing up my finical position that much at the moment which is a bit of a relief. I think it just sucks that there's still cat toys all in my room and the cat tree is right next to my bed, I just feel like everything reminds me of them and I now I feel really guilty like I didn't look after them and like they were in some sort of pain living here, it never showed in their behaviour but it's also just hard to wrap my head around my aunty lying to me about what the vet said, it's just evil and why is she keeping me from them, like what is she gaining?
Thank you for those articles, I'll check those out! 😸
Hi @Waffles no worries 😊
It's really great that your dad is supportive and on your side, especially since he loves animals too! It's completely understandable to feel at a loss about what to do next, especially with everything you're learning about your aunt. I imagine it can be quite unsettling to discover that someone you trusted has a history of such negative behavior.
It’s cool to hear that you like to paint and draw! There are lots of creative community members on here. I also think walking and being in nature are great substitutes for self-care until that itch for creativity finds you again 🍃
I'm glad to hear that things at home are feeling a bit less pressured with your mum. Though I can see how it would be really hard to have reminders of your cats all around you. It's understandable to feel guilty after what you’ve been told, however it truly sounds like you took good care of them and their behavior didn't indicate they were in such a condition.
I hope you are able to do something nice for yourself tonight! You deserve it 🌷
Ps. We have sent you an email to check-in, please keep an eye on your inbox.
Hello @Waffles ,
Firstly, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, this can be a challenging and difficult thing to do, and I admire the strength you have had to reachout.
It sounds like you are currently going through a lot of challenges regarding your family - with your mum, dad, and aunt. You mentioned a number of red flags, and by the sounds of it, your feelings are completely valid. I am wondering how you have been coping with your aunty re-entering your life after 7 years?
I really sympathise with you and your feelings surrounding your two cats. I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling as it seems as though your aunt is pushing blame onto you about the health of the cats. It sounds like you have been a responsible cat owner thus far, and you have a lot of love towards Elliot and Rudey (beautiful names by the way 😍). You have taken them to the vet when necessary and had them looked at by animal welfare when they have gotten out which is exactly what I would have done. I am wondering whether you could speak with your mum about what has happened and see if she could get through to your aunt?
If you need anything, please do not hesitate to reach out. I unfortunately do not have a lot of advice to give in this situation, but I think you are completely valid in your feelings. I hope that you are reunited with your fur babies soon 😻
