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Aghhhh! Romance struggles
Hey guys,
So Ive been kind of okay lately mental health wise but I really like this guy and he's not great at replying over text and I'm really wrestling with how I'm feeling. I want a bf and I know this isn't a great motive but he's so nice and I love chatting to him in person but I feel like Im seriously losing my mind rn.
Please help me -Im praying something will work out
Comments
It’s really tough when you like someone and they’re not great at replying. Just know that your feelings are totally valid. It sounds like you really enjoy your time with him in person, which is awesome. Hang in there and take things one step at a time. I’m here for you if you need to talk more about it. 💛
Hey there. I hear you, it can be very frustrating when things aren't what we hope or expect. It does sound like you have genuine feelings and makes sense why you might feel anxious. I'd suggest focusing on time spent together since that seems to be where your connection is best. Maybe when you do hang out, don't hesitate to share your feelings with him as it can help clear the air.
Most importantly, make sure you take care of yourself.
Wish you the best!
I know that feeling all too well when guys are not good at replying, it brings up a lot of unnecessary anxiety and overthinking. I think as long as the connection is good in person then that's all that matters.
Like others have said, just get to know them more and see where it goes. Good luck!
Hey there @Green_Forest
Sometimes a person not replying for a long period of time can indicate they may not reciprocate your feelings, which can feel really unfortunate. On the other hand, it may also just be that he's not great at replying quickly. If it's the latter it may be great to consider if this is a dealbreaker for you/something you may or may not be able to cope with in the future if you end up dating.
Maybe you could ask him to have a phone call with you from time to time, as that's more akin to a regular conversation in person.
If he's nice and you love to chat to him, would you consider sharing your potential feelings with him at some point in the future? Perhaps after you come to terms with what it is you're feeling, after spending some more time with him?
Hello @Green_Forest,
It goods to see that your mental health is doing well 😁.
In regards to your romance troubles, as mentioned by many of the people replying here, it would be really great to assess the situation as it goes, so just essentially keep chatting or communicating as it goes would be a good nice step.
As mentioned by @snazzy_pigeon and @Thistle_Jellyfish, low frequency of communication may be indicative that the person might not feel the same way, so that might be something you want to take note of.
Also I feel you as well, there was a point where I did in fact really “wanted” a girlfriend and kept getting attracted to their niceness, but I did get advice from my friends that are in relationships, which led me to understand that I was onto just attracted to their kindness.
Thus, I had a better understanding of my actual feelings. After a while, things just naturally follow suit, as I only got a girlfriend after about a year of hanging out and chatting with her.
But ya what I’m getting at is that’s no need to rush but I also the feeling really does overwhelm you though so I totally get that as well.
But ya assess the situation, chat and hang out with the person more, get to know them and see how it goes.
And as previously mentioned by @adzukitty, a pros and cons list could also be helpful to visualize the issue if having it all written out is helpful for you to get a bigger picture.
But ya, do feel free to chat to anyone on the platform to reach out if you have any more concerns 😁
Hey there @Green_Forest
It's great that your mental health has improved!
As for your texting situation, you might want to wait for some time for the other person to respond as replying over text can be anxious to others.
While you do have a motive in connecting with him, also try to see it as chatting and knowing another person better. That way, you would understand if the person is someone suitable for you to be a significant other.
Hope this could help you.
Hey there @Green_Forest
I'm glad your mental health has been decent as of late! In regards to your situation, I really relate to it since I was in that similar situation a couple of years ago hehe. Crushes or crush like feelings usually make one feel like they are losing their mind so you ain't alone in regards to that haha! One piece of advice to have is to kinda ask yourself whether you think would actually make a good match with this person or if these feelings are purely because you want a relationship in general. In my personal opinion, getting into a relationship with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship is not very good for the long term. One must love oneself before loving others after all!
I also really like @adzukitty suggestion about the pros and cons list! Crushes in general invovle hella confusing feelings so making a pros and cons list can really help compartimentalise and understand these feelings. Maybe your could even talk about these feelings to someone you trust. I find that talking to someone with an outside perspective about my feelings really helps.
I will say in regards to the minimal replying over text, that might be an indication that the other person is not interested in a romantic relationship or would not be a good communicator in a relationship. Trust me, nothing is worse than getting in a relationship with someone who leaves you on read/delivered for two days (I know from experience)😅. So I would be a bit weary regarding that.
Regardless, I hope you find the kind of love you want because you deserve it! And don't forget to take care of yourself 😊
hi @Green_Forest that's so good to hear you're mental health is doing ok lately!! i can't help but to notice that in ur post you said you're doing okay mental healthwise BUT you really like this guy, and you also note something about motive. I'm wondering whether it would be worth writing out a pros and cons list about this - that always helps me visually reason when I have a dilemma.
I am so sorry to hear abt that. I am 14/m and I have had the same problems with many woman in my life and I have tried hard so often just to be left on delivered for up to 3 days and from my experience I would have to say stop trying if you need to try really hard to talk to him he isnt the right man for you I really hoped this helps
I understand this app is to keep your identity hidden but I think you should really talk to someone even if it isn't mean
I wish you the best and remember your amazing
Hi Green_Forest!! 💚
I completely understand where you are coming from! there have been times where texting guys have made me feel excited/anxious/confused all at the same time. It's great to hear that he is nice and you get along in person.
I also understand the feeling of wanting a boyfriend, but please don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself! It sounds like this is something you really want, but I hope you are patient and kind to yourself in the process. In the past, I have found it better to focus on myself and what ever comes along for me will come 🫶🏻