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I may be getting more intimate with my gf but I am not totally comfortable with my own image
My gf and I are moving to a close level of intimacy (bj) but I am self-conscious about my own body image and genitalia appearance.
Its a normal size but it doesn't like every other one and I am scared it may scare her or push her away.
I dont know what to tell her to make sure it isnt a shock.
Comments
Hi @Copper_Lapwing 
Being intimate for the first time with somebody is one of the most vulnerable things you can do so you are totally valid in your feelings. As @watermelon21 said, it's very common to feel self-conscious, especially around someone we really care about like a partner. I would also say that chances are, your girlfriend is having some similar worries. I'm wondering if you would be shocked or really care if she looked different from what you expected? If not, then chances are, she won't be either.
When we see other people's genitalia such as on the internet, it's really easy to compare ourselves, but what we see online is not usually accurate to real life. Everybody looks different down there and that's okay! Doing things with a partner for the first time is always a little (or even a lot) awkward, but as long as you communciate and are both consenting and comfortable with what's going on, then it can be a really fun time.
Also keep in mind that if your girlfriend does happen to act shocked or judge you based on the look or size of your genitalia, is someone who judges you based on your appearance, someone who really respects you? Is that someone you'd want to be with?
Hey @Copper_Lapwing ,
Thank you so much for your honesty and being so brave and vulnerable to open up about this.
Believe it or not, it's very common for individuals to not feel entirely comfortable in their own bodies and maybe even self-conscious, especially when it comes to intimate body parts. Just to reassure you, intimate body parts all look very different from one person to the next, and there isn't a 'normal' genitalia appearance as everyone has completely different genitalia. Its very understandable that you would feel this way as you're starting to become more intimate with a person, it can be very nerve racking. However, I've been in this situation, and I found it most useful to just have a conversation with my partner, letting them know just how I feel and my worries or concerns. Most of the time, you will be pleasantly surprised that your partner will validate your feelings and make you feel better about your body. Having that open and vulnerable conversation with your partner only just increases the trust between you two, and you can hopefully then enjoy intimate acts in a more healthy and safe manner.
Hi @Copper_Lapwing , navigating intimacy with a partner for the first time can be a really tough and uncomfortable experience. We have some articles that might be helpful, so if you're interested in having a read just head here😊
As @Chloe-RO pointed out, it's not uncommon to feel self-conscious about your body when navigating these new experiences. Sometimes it can be helpful to remind yourself that body's come in all different shapes and sizes, and there is no 'normal' standard of what any body or body part should look like.
If you have any concerns about your body or your sexual health, services such as Health Direct or GP's are great for health advice.
Hi there @Copper_Lapwing ,
Thank you for your honesty in sharing how you are feeling with your body and how this may affect intimacy with your girlfriend.
You have probably posted what many feel. It is not uncommon to feel self-conscious about your body, especially to someone you love.
While you can consider whether you want to talk to your girlfriend beforehand (that is, share your concerns), it seems like naturally, in that moment, being with you is more important that the look and size of your genitalia - what do you think?
We're interested to hear your thoughts.