Relationship and telling parents
Hey guys, nice to talk to you all. I am 16 years old and just yesterday I asked a girl out who I had a crush on, she said yes!! I’m so happy about it and now on Monday me and her are going to meet up and play mini golf to get to know eachother better. See I should be feeling over joyed about all this but I can’t help but worry. You see my mum doesn’t know about it and I’m scared to tell her as she doesn’t want me to have a girlfriend till I’m older as she might distract me from school. When would you guys recommend me telling her and what should I say? I’ve lied to her on who I’m seeing Monday as I feel it is too early for her to know so I feel bad.
Also, with this girl, I think I’m overthinking things already lol. I feel like things may be awkward on our first date. What things should I talk about and what do I do if it feels awkward and just what do I do in a relationship? I’m so new to all of this and it seems scary.
thanks guys
Comments
@Samm38 it's alright to be awkward here and there. She will be too. Even I still am to some extent, and I'm significantly older. It can actually play into the appeal; she might find you more adorable.
In terms of what to talk to her about -- just get to know her. At that age, I used to use 'would you rather' questions, 'getting to know' questions, talk about hobbies, find shared interests, 'truth or dare', etc.
Also, I agree with the other people in this thread. Telling the truth and apologising for lying might be the best option. The guilt you feel from lying might build up and make things worse.
Just realised I'm replying on the day of your date! Don't forget to wear perfume. Also, let her win a couple of rounds of mini-golf 😄. BEST OF LUCK, @Samm38!
Hey thanks so much for replying to my message I appreciate it! Yes my date went very well actually thanks! We bonded and connected so well she is just amazing. And lol yes I unfortunately beat her by a tiny bit but we had a lot of fun. Sorry I didn't get notifications you messaging me so I didn't get the message but I was ok! 🙂
Congrats @Samm38. Great to hear that it went well!
It can be overwhelming to pursue a relationship at a young age, but make sure to treat yourself and your potential partner well and enjoy every moment.
Hey @Samm38 ,
Congratulations on asking out the girl you have a crush on, and good luck with your upcoming mini-golf date!
It's completely understandable to feel worried or nervous about how your mom will react, but I think it's important to be honest with her. I would recommend telling her sooner rather than later so that she doesn't feel like you were keeping something important from her and ending up with the situation snowballing in the future. Perhaps telling her that you feel capable of balancing this relationship with other responsibilities and responding to your mother's concerns may help her feel more reassured.
Otherwise, I hope you enjoy your date! It would be a wonderful opportunity to get to know each other better, and I'm sure both you and your date will feel awkward and nervous about it!
Thank you! I honestly can't believe I'm in a relationship now. It still seems scary tbh but I feel like I'll get there. Our date went well thanks! We connected so well and now at school we hung out a bit.
your right about my mum maybe I should let her know as I did feel bad. I just want this girl part of my life yk?
@Samm38 Sounds like you're over the moon about it, that is absolutely wonderful. I hope you two continue to connect get to know each other, new relationships can be such an adventure.
I hope the conversation with your mum goes better than you expect - and of course we will be here to support you if there's anything you do need to chat about afterwards. I agree on the idea of letting her know you feel capable of balancing this relationship with your studies. And relationships are part of our learning too, they are a very important part of life. Keep us posted 😉
I really am. My life feels more just idk how to describe it but together yk. Like I got things figured out.
thanks for the message I really appreciate it and I will definitely keep you updated, I'll tell her when I feel I am ready and she is as well.
Hello @Samm38
Its very common to feal awkward in your first date, no one should expect to be perfect since you guys are still young and new to the whole situation.
I think Its really sweet that you guys are going mini golfing! That sounds like so much fun.
If I was to give you a tip, don’t put too much pressure on yourself or on the situation. You got this! ❤️
Thanks so much! It was a great first date choice and I really enjoyed myself with her! It went better than I thought it would lol so that's good! And yea it was fun. Ok I won't thank you 🙂
Hi @Samm38
Thank you for giving us an update! Im so glad and happy for you that things went well and that you were able to just enjoy your time! 💓
Hi @Samm38 !
Welcome to the forums 🙂
Dating can be a strange thing, but it doesn't have to be. Don't put too much pressure on having the perfect first date - because there isn't one!
Maybe do your best to just bond over things you have in common and make the most of the time you have together and focus on what you guys are actually doing, instead of thinking about what to say next. I know that has helped me with my experiences.
Either way, best of luck with everything! It takes great courage to even ask people out so you're doing an amazing job so far.
Thank you! Yea you are right and it went so well so thanks for the advice! I really appreciate the message
Hey @Samm38 ,
Sounds very exciting, yet I also hear it is a bit daunting... the whole first date experience, eh?
How you are feeling is certainly not uncommon. It is stepping into a whole new world - a world of the unknown. Perhaps it is also her first time?
Here's an awesome article that may help you through some of those awkward, challenging moments - How to be less sociall awkward. This article delves into first dates as well! How applicable is that?
All the best, and I hear that in your time, you will be able to open up and share it with your mum as well. Main thing is that you feel ready to do so.
Looking forward to hearing how it all pans out!
Definitely was a little daunting! Although we quickly bonded and stopped becoming awkward, it's like we just felt normal after it! I was so surprised and happy ig. Thanks I'll also read the link you sent me I appreciate the message 🙂
