Relationships?
Hi!!
I don't post much, i love lurking here. But I feel a tiny bit like my relationship is being looked down apon my my friends. Me and my bf have been dating for two years, and have needed to go long distance. people assume we don't love eachother or that one of us is cheating, but he's the love of my life.
i don't know if i should bring it up with him, or if i should stop caring what people think. i just miss him heaps.
thank you ❤️
Comments
hello!! little update for those who wish to know, and those who've helped!
i explained everything to my friends, and they took it really well!! mostly i got apologies, but from my best friend, she told me that she was worried about me, not my relationship. she was worried i'd get hurt, but she knows my boyfriend loves me.
in all - i think talking to people makes life easier for everyone ❤️
Hi @louie_al3x , I just wanted to chime in because I think that it's a very prevalent assumption about long distance relationships that they 'don't last' or 'one of them is cheating'. In reality, only you and your partner know what's best for you. My dad and stepmum went for 3 YEARS long distance and are still happily married. It can really hurt when people seem to put their own assumptions and expectations onto your relationship. Long distance is really hard, but it's definitely not impossible! You're completely valid in feeling upset about this and I can imagine if you're constantly being told these things that it can start to get frustrating and annoying, or you may even start to believe the things your friends are telling you. It sounds like you knew it was time to start setting some boundaries so I hope that went well for you.
You said you miss him a lot and I feel for you! It can be so lonely when your partner is so far away from you physically, even with lots of Facetiming and phone calls. I hope you're taking care of yourself and doing things you enjoy while you wait for your next reunion ❤️
Hi @dewgong
Thank you so much! it does get hard, but i'm glad knowing that i'm not alone in this. I'm glad you understand what's going through my head, even if you haven't experinced it yourself!
Again, thank you! ❤️
Heya @louie_al3x so good to read that you love lurking here + it's great to see you reaching out for support when you need it. Do you find it helpful reading through others threads?
Also, I'm sorry to read that your relationship is being looked down upon - that would make anyone feel upset. As much as we tell ourselves not to worry about what others think - it can be really hard to put that into practice. Is that what you're finding, too?
It sounds like you are happy in your relationship, and at times, we do make adjustments like long distance because there are external factors out of our control - but it seems like you and your boyfriend are managing the distance and feel the same about one another. In saying that, it must be hard to miss him 😓
How do you feel about letting your friends know how it makes you feel when they look down on your relationship?
I hope you're feeling a bit better after getting this off your chest!
Hihi @Bre-RO ,
Lurking has been great, reading through other people's threads has made me feel a lot less alone.
But yes, normally i don't care what people think about me, but when it comes to my boyfriend; i know it hurts him too! he's my best friend and i hate to see him sad. missing him is hard, but we make it work!!
I think if i set some boundaries it might help, I know none of them know how it affects me so i dont blame them < 3
@louie_al3x Really speaks to how much you and your boyfriend do care about each other, and perhaps this is the part your friends can't really see or understand? I can imagine they just want what they think is best for you, but if they don't see that there is a mutually happy relationship, they might not be able to respect it. So yes! Communication and boundaries is the way to go - glad to hear that you are onto it already.
How do you think you might broach this topic with your friends?
i think the best way for me to do it is bring it up when everyone is relaxed, maybe at lunch!! i can tell my friends "hey, from now on can we not talk about mine and my boyfriends relationship being bad, even if its as a joke" and im sure they'll respect that
@louie_al3x I think that sounds like a good idea! Sounds like your friends are good people. Feel free to keep us posted with how it all unfolds, and of course if anything comes up you'd like further support with, we'll be here 💚
