cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Main content skiplink
Join an event. Happening today.

Venting

I feel like I really need to vent but I have nobody to vent to.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months because I'm questioning my sexuality and I still don't know what it is. I don't really care what it is either. The thing is, one of my friends has been in hospital and away from school all term. My boyfriend was basically my best friend. Which sounds kinda stupid but he was always the one I spoke to and now I have nobody. I told him why I broke up with him and he was good about it, I asked him not to tell anyone while I'm figuring stuff out and he's been really good. But we've only messaged like twice since I broke up with him like 3 or 4 weeks ago and we've not spoken to each other. I feel like I lost my best friend over night. There's no hate between us. We just live along side each other while completely ignoring each other, which really sucks. Especially because it's a small school and he's in almost all of my classes.

My main friend has been away sick and I feel really distanced from the friend group. I'm usually a backup friend that people only hang out with when nobody else is there which really annoys me, especially when I don't even really like the people, and it's  a really crap feeling to know that I'm nobody's favourite person. And  a different friend I was really close with has been flirting and spending lot of time with the boyfriend I just broke up with. I feel like it's not unreasonable that I'm annoyed at my friend for doing that so so afterwards, and I feel like she's disrespecting our friendship. Because of this I've been distancing myself from her. Which is hard because Ive had a great friendship with her. 

Other people in my friend group just annoy me. Which I feel like I partially my fault because I am very quick to dislike people. But I just don't want to be around them. There's only one person I currently want to be around at school and she's not there too often.

I've been feeling really upset and distanced from everyone and just alone. And I really just want a best friend that I can talk to, but I have nobody. My boyfriend used to be that person,  but not anymore.

Yeah long post, but I just needed to vent.

Frog444722
Frog444722Posted 12-06-2023 01:37 PM

Comments

 
Frog444722
Frog444722Posted 16-06-2023 01:42 PM

I have an update. I talked to the  friend I said had been flirting with my ex. I asked her if she liked ex and she said she's liked him for 2 years! 😲 She said she felt really bad and hadn't talked to him outside of school or flirted with him when I was dating him. I know that she can't really help when she likes someone and I was just grateful that she'd been respectful when I was dating him. I told her why I broke up with him (about how I might be lesbian or something else) and I said how it was really hard bc I'd basically lost my best friend. I asked her not to tell anyone else and I started crying, I hate crying in public 😭. But anyways she gave me a hug and apologized some more. And we were talking for ages and I said I don't mind if they date, because I just want to be friends with ex. Which I think is true. I don't miss any of the dating but and I feel like I'm ok with my friend dating him. (Which they may not even end up doing, I just let her know that If they wanted that, it wouldn't ruin my friendship with her) I feel much better about it now 😊

 
 
Anzelmo
AnzelmoPosted 17-06-2023 08:31 PM

Hey @Frog444722 

 

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you've been going through a lot lately.

I've just caught up on the thread and I think the others have given some great advice and resources. 

 

I'm really glad to hear that your conversation with your friend went well. It must have been difficult to sort through your emotions about your friend's feelings about your ex. You seem really mature, caring, and like a great friend. Your friend is lucky to know you. 

 

Most of all, I'm happy that you're feeling much better about the whole situation. 💙

 
 
 
Frog444722
Frog444722Posted 17-06-2023 08:48 PM

I'm still working thru stuff but if anything new comes up I'll post abt it. Thanks to everyone for their support 😀

 
 
Blake_RO
Blake_ROPosted 16-06-2023 03:53 PM

Hey @Frog444722 

It's really good to hear back from you! I'm glad to hear that your conversation with your friend went well. It sounds like it was such a positive outcome, and it speaks volumes about the kind of person and friend you are.😊

I want to acknowledge your graciousness and non-judgmental attitude towards your friend. It takes a special kind of person to be understanding and supportive, especially in challenging situations and it isn’t always easy. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you really value your friendship and have handled all of this with so much care – it truly shows how much of an incredible friend you are - your friend is very lucky to have someone like you in their life.

Thank you again for sharing this with us and for letting us know how it went.💜

 
Chloe-RO
Chloe-ROPosted 12-06-2023 04:28 PM

Hi @Frog444722 ,

 

Thank you for sharing what has been happening for you in the past few weeks. It sounds like you are sitting with a lot on your own and you would to be able to talk to someone.

 

I read that you broke up with your boyfriend because you want some space to 'find' yourself and who you are? This article may be of help to you.

 

I'm also curious to understand your thoughts as to whether you can still talk to your former boyfriend - but as a friend? At the moment, it sounds like it feels kind of odd to walk right past him and not speak, particularly if you are in a small school.

 

Would you consider being just friends?

 
 
Frog444722
Frog444722Posted 12-06-2023 04:54 PM

I'm open to being friends with him, but I'm not sure if he wants that. I know that I hurt him when I broke up with him and I feel like he wants some space. However I'm hopeful that sometime in the future we can be friends

 
 
 
Pho-RO
Pho-ROPosted 12-06-2023 05:35 PM

Hey @Frog444722 I am sorry to hear you're feeling so isolated at the moment. That can be so rough. 

 

It's good to know that you are open to being friends with him, and maybe he wants that too? It could be something worth opening up a conversation around - to see if you both want that, if you both feel ready for it, and how you might go about rekindling that friendship. It might be good to take it pretty slow, especially at first, as you take the time to get used to talking to each other again. Might also be a little different to have a friendship instead of a romantic relationship, so some talk around boundaries could be helpful too. 

 

Might be good to also touch base with your friend around your feelings about her flirting. At the very least, letting her know how you feel can help you both decide the best way to go forward so that it's less likely someone will end up hurt by the situation. 

 

Also, I think it's okay to be pretty discerning about the people you want to invest time into. You don't have to like everyone, and if people in your friend group annoy you, then it's okay to not actively spend time with them. Have you ever spent time with any of those particular people one on one? Sometimes people can act a bit differently in big groups than they do when just hanging out with one person. They may end up surprising you. But I mean if they're still annoying even one on one then that is also fair. 

 

Thought I'd also include this link to our collection of articles on friendships, so you can see if anything stands out to you that might be helpful to read 😊

 
 
 
 
Frog444722
Frog444722Posted 12-06-2023 06:12 PM

Thanks for taking time to reply, It's good to talk to somebody. I have spent time one on one with people in my friend group. A few of them can actually be rude and one girl even used to make rude homophobic comments to a gay guy in our group. I don't think she's homophobic, she just sees it as a joke. She also treats me like a temporary friend. I have 1 class with her and she has no other friends in that class. So she sits with me and I don't want to be rude but I hate that she does that. Especially because at lunchtime when she has other friends she has no interest in talking to me.

 
 
 
 
 
Pho-RO
Pho-ROPosted 12-06-2023 07:40 PM

@Frog444722 glad to chat with you 😊

Oh wow, yeah no I wouldn't want to spend time with someone who made homophobic comments either, even under the guise of a joke (and anyway, just because they're 'joking' doesn't mean the comments aren't hurtful). Sounds like this person really devalues yourself and others. What do you think would happen if you asked her not to sit with you in that class? 

 
 
 
 
 
Frog444722
Frog444722Posted 12-06-2023 07:52 PM

I think she'd get offended and try and turn people in the group against me. She doesn't know I'm questioning my sexuality though.

 
 
 
 
 
Pho-RO
Pho-ROPosted 12-06-2023 10:13 PM

Hmm doesn't sound like a very safe person @Frog444722 I can see why you feel like you want to keep your distance from her. Do you know if there are others in the group who feel the same way about her? 

 

Also if you ever need someone to talk to about your sexuality, you can always check out QLife 😊

 
 
 
 
 
Frog444722
Frog444722Posted 13-06-2023 07:44 AM

I don't really care about my sexuality I'm just going to date who I want to 🙂 and my friend thats in hospital sometimes doesn't like her that much, but overall everyone likes her

Welcome back!

Join the Community

ReachOut is confidential & anonymous.

8+ characters, 1 capital letter, 1 lower case letter and 1 number

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.