I need help
Ok so I'm 18 and a female and from a very young age I've like girl I didn't know what LGBTQ was I didn't know anything about because my parents or family never explain what it was nor did they care but all my life I've know that I like girls when I was 6 I cut my hair because I hated having long hair I hated wearing girl clothes since I was 4 or 5 I would wear boy clothes growing up I was stronger the the girl in my grade and I was stronger then some of the boys in my grade when I got to high school I had bigger muscles then any of the girls in my grade when I was in grade 9 I come out to my parents and sister as a
lebsian and they were find if that and I learn more about the LGBTQ community but I always felt uncomfortable as a girl I don't like having breast and I feel as if I was meant to be a boy does that mean I'm trans I just need help understanding or hearing others if they have had a similar experience please it would help.
Comments
I'm a trans guy and I remember being a kid and although I didn't know what being trans was or that you could be anything other than your sex, I still loved wearing boys clothes and having a boy's haircut and being seen as the 'strong one'.
You don't need to make any decision about your gender right now or commit 100% to presenting any kind of way but here's some ideas for ways you could explore your gender to see what you like the most:
When I was first exploring my gender I watched a lot of trans guys and non-binary people on youtube to get an insight into their experiences and feelings to see how well I could relate. I also experimented with a couple of my friends using a boy's name for me and he/him pronouns to see how that made me feel. If you don't feel comfortable or safe experimenting with people you know, you could even join an online group or in-person queer group and try out some new pronouns and name with them. You could also try buying a binder which uses compression to hide the shape of your breasts, but please make sure to research proper binding technique; it's safe if you follow the guidelines but can become unsafe if you bind too often or with one that's too small. And this is a little less related to experimenting with gender, but when I was figuring out my gender and even still now, I loved working out and doing martial arts because I loved feeling strong and being part of a very male-dominated area, so this could possibly be something you'd enjoy too.
I think the biggest thing to keep in mind is that nothing has to be permanent and it's perfectly okay to experiment with your gender and spend as much time as you need trying things out before making any kind of decision - and even then it's perfectly okay to change your mind. There's no rush to figure things out and I wish you luck in your journey ❤️
Thank you for sharing your experience with me it has help me understand, i will take your suggestions on the binder and i will make should to do my research.
Hey @Unknown_2006
I see that this is your first post here on Reach Out, so I wanted to first start off by wishing you a warm welcome to the Online Community!
Exploring gender identity is not a linear journey, and it most certainly can provoke a lot of feelings. I hope that by sharing my own experience, it may help you with your own journey 💚
So I am 22 now and proudly Transmasc, and I have been this way since I was 16. I've always had a bit of a complex relationship with gender identity. I never thought much about it as a kid, but I do remember liking having a "boyish" haircut, and I liked my little muscles haha (I climbed lots of trees) 😆 Admittedly, I did love both feminine and masculine things like clothes, toys etc, and didn't care about how society would portray me. But as I got to 16, and my chest started to grow because I had a somewhat late puberty, I started to become uncomfortable within my skin, and I didn't like being perceived/known as a girl, and remembering how I felt as a kid, kinda made me realise something wasn't right. I didn't have the language for years, but after hours upon hours of researching online and talking to folk within the LGBTQIA+ Community, I had my lightbulb moment and realised I was transmasc. Transmasc fit me perfectly; it felt so comfortable compared to all the other gender identities. I found that experimenting with masculine fashion, haircuts, etc., affirmed my identity. Now, at 22, I've been on HRT and very fortunately was able to change my legal name thanks to my Mum so kindly paying for it, even though it took her a while to understand me coming out as trans.
While I cannot tell you what gender identity you are, I can say that the fact that you have always felt discomfort being a girl, don't like having breasts, and feel as if you were meant to be a boy (even though this is not the case for all trans and gender non-conforming folk as everyone's experience is different), I think you may possibly be trans/gender diverse. At the end of the day, it is up to you to decide your identity, not mine or anyone else.
I definitely recommend experimenting with your fashion/expression and seeing what feels right for you. Would you consider talking to a GP or a mental health professional who is LGBTQIA+ friendly? They could help you even more with exploring gender identity.
I also wanted to share with you TransHub which you may find useful in our journey.
Take care!
- Matcha_Toad 🐸🍵💚
Thank you for sharing your expereince with me I will check out TransHub.
Hi @Unknown_2006!
Congrats on reaching out for support, I know it can be very scary when it comes to gender and identity.
I questioned my gender a lot starting at a young age. While I now feel comfortable identifying and presenting as cisgender, I still feel very comfortable in being both feminine and androgynous. When figuring out my gender and sexuality identity, I did a lot of research into different gender expressions and identities. I read a lot of articles and did a lot of online quizzes. I asked people I was close with and comfortable with to use different pronouns and use a more androgynous nickname. I watched a lot of trans and queer influencers and YouTubers to learn about their experiences and had conversations with transgender and non-binary people I knew online and in real life. I spent a lot of time reflecting on my assigned gender and birth and how it aligned with my self-perception and trying to figure out how I felt about it all.
Although I am cisgender and feel very comfortable with it, I have no regrets about experimenting with different pronouns or names to see what made me happiest. It is okay to take your time and explore your feelings about your gender, there is no rush or timeframe. At the end of the day, only you can truly determine your own gender expression. Just know that regardless of your identity, you are always welcome and supported by the LGBT community and your experiences are completely valid!
Hope some of that helps, wishing you the very best of luck!! 🙂
